


Baggage

by AlyssIsBadAtWritting



Category: Naruto
Genre: Blind Character, Couch Cuddles, Deaf Character, Depression, Disability, Emotionally Repressed, Feelings, Friends to Lovers, Hugs, Loneliness, Long, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Minor Character Death, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-War, Short Chapters, Top Uzumaki Naruto, Touch-Starved, Tsunderes, mute! sasuke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:54:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 60
Words: 49,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29208447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlyssIsBadAtWritting/pseuds/AlyssIsBadAtWritting
Summary: Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest holding Sasuke.----What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?But what if......it doesn't work?
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 192
Kudos: 298
Collections: Fics Naruto/Sasuke, NaruSasu





	1. Sitting

**Author's Note:**

> Please note!!!
> 
> All these chapters are gonna be super quick and short!!!
> 
> Enjoy!!!

Naruto is sitting.

It's quite unnatural actually.

To see such a once energetic boy so still and contemplative.

But despite his normal state of nature, he is sitting on a rock and thinking about...

...what was he thinking about again?

What had Kakashi advised him to think about?

Was it... that he needed to buy an extra futon for his new coming guest? Or was it about picking up said guest's medication?

Maybe it was that...

But Naruto can't remember now as he looks down and stares at his open-toed sandals. Which were stupidly designed to have his toes stick out in the open air. Naruto has always found that be a silly thing. He remembers how when he was younger how some boys in class never washed their feet in the bath. And how much he would groan about their feet smelling to himself. He laughs at that now, because he realizes how poor his own hygiene was when he was younger. But why must he always think of things like that now?

Is it because he can't remember why he was sent out here to think in the first place?

Or is it possibly because he's distracting himself from who's about to come into his life.

He's been in his life for what feels like forever it seems.

But never this close.

And never this different.

 _Sasuke's... not the same._..

Naruto feels his gut twist as he thinks of that.

How has he just come to that conclusion?

Was he in denial?

No.

He was angry about it.

Or more sad than angry.

Disappointed as well. 

But as he sits and stares at his shoes, he tries not to think of Sasuke.

For in two hours he knows that Sasuke will be discharged from the hospital. 

And sent to his home to stay.

Maybe forever.

Naruto hopes he doesn't.

Not because he hates him.

But because it's hard for him to look at Sasuke.

When Sasuke can't see him back.

Or hear him back.

Or even speak back to him.

"Fuck..." Naruto whispers as he scrunches his toes together tight to think of something other than Sasuke's cloudy lifeless eyes that have come back to haunt him for the tenth time today. He hates that he was the one to volunteer in a way. For it had only been a month since he had beaten the life nearly out of Sasuke. Not that Sasuke wasn't at fault as well. But Naruto can express that anger in stares or words. But Sasuke can't do either. He's become nothing in the span of a month. And maybe that is what angers Naruto as he sits on his rock and tries to think of nothing and no one. 

But Sasuke always seems to come to his mind when he tries to push him out.

Why is that?

Naruto had no answer as he slides down the rock and rests his head against its hard outside. Wet moss wetting his hair as he does. 

He has...

...no answer at all...


	2. Apartment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I woke up and checked my stats and holy shit-
> 
> Thank you all for so many hits already!!!!

His apartment is clean.

Clean.

Something in Naruto's mind lurches as he thinks and reviews that word, and its meaning as well.

Naruto has cleaned his apartment for Sasuke. Who is set to arrive at his house arm and arm with his supervising nurse. Naruto has swept the floors and done laundry for the first time since the war. And he has taken out the trash properly for the first time in perhaps his entire life. But he has also carefully washed out the one decent futon in his house. And soon it will be done with air drying on the roof, and Naruto knows that he will have to jump up and fetch it because if he doesn't the fabric will be ruined. 

Why though?

Naruto's never cleaned for anyone.

But why again is he so wrapped up in it?

It's just a bit of housekeeping.

But Naruto's head snaps up upon hearing his friend's deep voice echo through his head. Echoing loud like the war cries of death cries of the night.

 _"He's coming Naruto,"_ Kurama says. _"Sorry, it took me so long to tell you, his chakra is so much weaker now."_

"'S fine Kurama, you can rest, I can take care of him," Naruto responds as he too beings to feel his old friend's chakra. It's reduced now with his Sharingan being useless and his rinnegan gone. But even without those eyes, Naruto can still feel him. His chakra is dulled just as Kurama said, and he seems to be feeling lost and confused as a result. But Naruto tries not to think as he throws open his living room window and jumps onto his roof to grab the thick futon's cover. It's warm and softly dried, and it smells of spring and summer air. And as Naruto folds it thrice, he looks down and sees two figures walking at snail's pace below him. 

He feels his heart accelerate as he catches sight of one of their hair colors.

It feels too soon.

Too soon to see him again.

In this damn state.

But he must.

Because Sasuke is his friend.

Naruto had always told Sasuke that.

'Because we're friends.' He had told him every time he grew closer to try and bring him home.

He had said it every time someone had told him otherwise. He had never stopped saying it despite all Sasuke's faults.

Even when Sasuke himself told him not to say it.

He still screamed those words for Sasuke, and, maybe even himself to hear once again.

So why doesn't he want Sasuke now?

Is he embarrassed by the idea of taking care of him?

 _You're being selfish._ He tells himself as he quickly makes up Sasuke's perhaps forever bed. 

Maybe he is.

But it's too soon for him to confirm anything.

Because he hears the doorbell ring three times.

And it's time to face reality. 


	3. Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for coming back to read!!!
> 
> Last update for today!!!

Is he getting shorter?

Or is Naruto just growing up faster than him?

No.

Sasuke was always more grown Naruto. He was always smarter than him. Bigger than him. More than him.

So why did he seem so microscopic as he lays on his futon?

"You two need to establish some forms of slight communication with one another," the nurse says kindly as she places three paper bags on Naruto's countertop. All of the bags rattle with their content as they fall over. "You need to be very slow with him. Right now he feels incredibly excluded and cut off. So I would recommend staying close. And please make sure to check his eye for any discoloration outside the pupil. His false eye should be arriving within a few days. You'll have to come back to the office when it does come. But other than that, I think that's all. Other than the basics. He needs plenty of rest, water, and food. I would also ask that you have him sit outside every day for some fresh air. And if you could please assist him in regular bathing that will also help with his mental health. But for now just let him rest, hmm?"

"Of course," Naruto says back with a slight bow. "Thank you for taking such good care of him."

"My pleasure," the nurse states with a slight bow back as well. "The hospital is in your gratitude Naruto Uzumaki, it was you who restored us after the attacks on our village. We wish we could express our gratitude more..."

"No need," Naruto responds with blush dusting his whiskered cheeks. "It was all in a day's work for protecting my home."

"If only the world was filled with more people like you..." the nurse whispers kindly as she smiles and turns on her low healed shoes and leaves the apartment. 

Naruto ponders on that as his eyes drift to the ajar door of the guest room

_People like me..._

Sasuke's asleep on the pillows. And he's wrapped himself tight in the blanket. His hair looks frayed and unwashed and overgrown as well. But it's still the same color it was the last time Naruto saw him. And it seems to be one of those few things that haven't yet changed or left on Sasuke's now fragile and baby bird-like body. His face is lightly bruised in some places. His body's recovery time is slower than time compared to Naruto, and all of his own special abilities. that he was blessed enough to keep. Even though Sasuke needed a million more things than him. He always received more. At least when he worked. But as he sits down on the floor next to Sasuke, to look closer at his sleeping face. He feels soft upon seeing it. For even though Sasuke's eyes are wrapped in bandages and his face is bruised. Naruto knows that at least for now, he is sleeping soundly. Not running away to Orochimaru or after his late brother.

Sasuke is _here_.

 _Here_ in Naruto's house.

Injured and rendered useless by his old sensei who sits now in the Hokage's office.

But he's here now.

After four years of endless chasing.

After so many tears.

A whole shinobi war. 

Sasuke is home.

Unable to utter a word in response to it all.

Because Sasuke had thought that he had missed Madara's stab with a chakra rod. 

Maybe if he hadn't forgotten about his throat injury, which he thought was minor.

He would have been able to have a voice to say sorry once again. 

Maybe if he had realized how damaged and how infected his ears really were throughout all his battles.

He would have been able to hear Sakura scream out his name as she was impaled by Obito's hand. 

And maybe he would have seen Naruto's tears in the hospital room that night.

If he hadn't lost his rinnegan to Kagyua's nails.

And if he maybe.

Just maybe hadn't lost his right eye.

Due to the shock of it all.

And his desire for more. 

Naruto feels himself reaching out to touch Sasuke's face as he remembers why Sasukes is the way he is now. Never has he expected things to go this way. He has only just wanted for Sasuke to be okay. To come home.

So why?

Why is Sakura lying dead in a grave?

Why is Sasuke nothing more than a shell of the standard human being?

And why does Naruto feel guilty?

Is it selfish to feel guilt?

Sasuke's face is a millimeter away from Naruto's fingers. 

He wants to brush his fingers against it.

He's lost so many friends.

But is Sasuke still really here?

Will touching the sleeping boy give him comfort in his guilt and embarrassment?

He's not sure.

But as his tanned fingers brush across Sasuke's pale skin. The raven reacts in an instant. Throwing himself blindly backward away in fear from whatever could have touched him. Naruto shouts surprise as he too jumps backward. His blue eyes swivel to try and find Sasuke's. But Naruto feels his emotions hit bricks as his eyes are only met at a bandage of tightly wrapped cotton. Hiding Sasuke's now useless eyes. And he closes his mouth quickly, for he knows that Sasuke is deaf to any of his words. And he tries to approach Sasuke slowly, but only to fail. For Sasuke tries to run to nowhere. And when Naruto catches him from a would-be painful fall, Sasuke squirms and kicks. Opening and closing his mouth fearfully. Scratching at anything he could find. So Naruto grasps hold of Sasuke's hands and forces them up to his face. He holds the raven's hands close to his cheeks, in the attempt to force him to feel the whiskers upon his face. He's supposed to be resting, and here he is, having a panic attack in Naruto's arms.

Gasping with not a sound coming out, helpless now to the world he thought he once could rule. 

Now Naruto starts to regret everything.

As he holds Sasuke down.

Trying not to scream in anger.

For it would only reach his neighbors. 


	4. Rat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments are amazing and I love you all so much!!!

He's holding him.

Him and his sweaty pale face.

Trying with every bit of patience he has left to get the boy in his arms to understand that it is him who has him in his arms.

And not Orochimaru in his old state.

Or maybe even someone worse.

The blond can feel tears running from under Sasuke's bandages.

But as the blond tries to rub them off on my jeans, he smells the painfully familiar scent of blood on his skin. And he shivers again for he knows that he will once again have to meet was is left of Sasuke's eye socket. But as he tries to once again try and stand, as he holds Sasuke slightly in his grasp. But as he re;eases the ravens hands, his jaw is struck upwards like a nasty sounding crack. 

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Naruto shrieks as he seizes Sasuke by his wrist and loses it completely. Yelling and screaming at him even though he cannot see or hear his anger. "I'm trying to fucking help you! Your eye is bleeding out!"

Sasuke's mouth opens and closes in an attempt to scream for help. Or maybe he is begging to understand. 

"Shut your fucking mouth!" Naruto screams in fury as he grabs hold of Sasuke's face and presses it to his own. Until the two boys' foreheads go numb from the pressure that Naruto applies. But it doesn't calm Sasuke down nearly enough for him to stop desperately touching and feeling for Naruto's fingers. Or whose ever fingers he thought they were.

Damnit was is he doing! He can't keep up like this! 

_Establish communication..._ Naruto thinks with annoyance and frustration as he rips his forehead from Sasukes with a grunt.

He thinks of himself as stupid in a sense as he stands and leaves the person he was supposed to care for on the floor, still lost and confused. 

Who was he to to think more of himself than a delivery boy?

He has made his goal already!

He has brought Sasuke Uchiha home!

So why did he even-

He feels something cold...

A palm.

Hand palm.

Sasuke palm around his index and middle finger.

_Rat..._

Naruto lowers himself down at an hour per second.

He lets his hand straighten up.

A whoosh of cold air and chakra stiffens and flows through the air.

Naruto feels Sasuke's hand tighten around his fingers.

He looks down at Sasuke's mouth, which is opening and closing like that of a baby gasping under hot water.

The syllables and noises are absent in his breaths of air that leave his mouth.

But Naruto sees what he is trying to say. 

So he presses his forehead against Sasukes again.

Lighter this time.

"Yeah, it's me Sasuke," Naruto whispers as he nods with a slight smile. "I'm...

I'm sorry that I yelled at you."


	5. Tomatoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm gonna try and take Sundays off from writing!! I do all my homework on that day of the week and I have to also prepare for work for the week and school as well!! But I will try and update maybe twice a day from now on!!!

Trust.

Naruto seems to have quite a bit of it when it comes to his and Sasuke's relationship.

But as he half carries the raven into his kitchen, still locked in his hands grasp, he ponders on whether Sasuke thinks the same way about their relationship.

Does Sasuke trust Naruto to care for him?

The blond can't say.

He's not even sure if he can trust himself to care for Sasuke in the right way.

Naruto knows however that he must because everyone in the village has turned a cold shoulder to Sasuke.

He of course also knew that it was going to happen.

Sasuke is still labeled a terrorist in the bingo book. And as Naruto helps set Sasuke down in a chair, he feels his stomach squirm because he knows that his friend will probably die as a criminal in someone's bingo book. 

But as Naruto tries to walk away from Sasuke's side, he feels Sasuke's hand close around his finger even harder.

"Can you..." he tries to say, but he stops himself, for Sasuke cannot hear him, and the raven has begun to shake again.

Naruto sighs with a hint of annoyance in his breath.

_'Going to get food for you' How do I tell him that... I need to feed him... but I need to walk over and get him food... walk..._

He feels a visible lightbulb switch on over his head.

It's so simple!

How has he not thought of this before?

He quickly squats down next to Sasuke, who still clings to his fingers. The blond lifts up his free hand at this and begins to tap the top of Sasuke's hand in an attempt to grab his attention. Sasuke remains unresponsive and confused at first, but after a second, he slowly, and very carefully releases Naruto's hand. But he jumps slightly when he once again feels the touch of fingers on his knee caps. But the raven quickly reacts again when he feels Naruto press his two fingers against his hand. Naruto sighs in relief at this, because now he knows how to tell Sasuke that he is there. But now he looks up again at his free hand and tries to make sense of his ridiculous idea on Sasuke's lower thigh. 

He beings to walk across Sasuke's thigh with his fingers as though they were legs. His idea being that this would show that he needs to go somewhere. 

Sasuke is frozen as he feels Naruto's fingers walk continuously across his clothed skin.

The blond sighs.

_Idiot..._

But he feels a poke at his scalp.

And he looks up to see Sasuke extending his own freehand, placing his own two fingers on Naruto's skin, and beginning to walk them like legs.

But now he raises his fingers from Naruto's skin, which has become dotted all over with goosebumps.

He points at him, directly in the eyes. 

And mouths every slowly, so Naruto can see and visualize every word he cannot say.

**You're going?**

Naruto feels his body grow calm and collected again as he stands and presses his forehead against Sasuke's again to nod.

He understands.

But he feels a tap on his shoulder after he nods from Sasuke.

The raven draws what feels to be a question mark on his t-shirt. 

**Why?**

Naruto, thinks carefully.

He now points at Sasuke's chest and then his stomach, which gives a small rumble as he applies the slight pressure. 

He looks up to see if his friend understands.

Sasuke considers Naruto's signs.

He nods, and gently releases Naruto's fingers. 

The blond now quickly stands and runs over to his kitchen, throwing empty noodle cups into his trash can and pulling open his fridge to begin the hunt for the freshes tomatoes he has. He knows Sasuke loves them, so when he comes across the freshes one, with the least amount of bruises. He quickly washes it with cold water and begins to quickly slice it open into slices of one eights, which he quickly places into a clean glass. Naruto now grabs a fork and runs back over to Sasuke. Remembering to place his two fingers on Sasuke's hand softly. The raven instantly takes them as the blond places them down, and it is now that Naruto begins to walk his fingers up to Sasuke's face. Placing the bottom of the fork on Sasuke's lips. The raven flinches for a moment, but when he realizes that it is a fork being pressed to his face, and not a knife. He gently opens his mouth, and Naruto quickly responds by placing a slice of tomatoes in the raven's mouth.

He begins to chew.

_Not too bad..._

He thinks as he places another piece of fruit into the ravens waiting mouth. 


	6. Clock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second update today!!! Schools gonna be really light this week so I don't have to worry about homework too much!!! So lots of new chapters hopefully!!!

Naruto has been on the couch for what feels like ten years.

But he knows that the more he complains in his mind about his paperwork, it will only be longer on the couch and less time in his bed. 

He sighs and signs his name at the bottom of the paper after another minute or three. Clarifying that it was him who wrote the after report on the mission, and not Sai or Shikamaru.

He now turns to see the clock on the coffee table, disassembled by his own hands.

It has been getting on his nerves for the past few days, even though he really has no use for the clock, he still feels a wave of slight anger at the idea of the clock not working.

Actually, maybe he feels a slight wave of anger at anything that doesn't work as it is supposed to.

But he doesn't want to think of it in that way.

Because that would be rude and an awful way to think.

Especially with Sasuke lying on his futon just down the hall.

However, that doesn't stop Naruto from cursing under his breath as he tries to pull out the clogs from the inside of the clock.

 _How the hell...!_ He thinks angrily as he finally pries out one clog. Which is sharp against his fingertips, and it leaves stains of dark oil and metal lubricant behind. Which is nearly impossible to wipe off. But Naruto presses on with examining the clocks inside. However, everything inside looks perfectly fine! _So why the hell is it stopping?_ He thinks as he snaps the metal back into place and re-attaches the back. However, the clock still doesn't move. 

Why is the clock stopping at exactly 9:30, not moving for one whole hour, and then randomly starting again at 10:30? 

_Screw this._ The blond thinks bitterly as he slams his clock down on his coffee table. 

He now stands and stretches and feels his back crack three times. It feels good for a moment, but after that moment ends he feels significantly worse. And he slaps himself in the face to remind himself to not force his body to crack, especially when he is supposed to be resting and recovering from a war and a recent mission. And as he picks up his toothbrush, he freezes.

Did he buy a toothbrush for Sasuke?

Did he even help Sasuke with his teeth?

"..." Naruto opens his mouth for a moment, maybe to talk to himself. But he closes it again slowly. Going without a toothbrush one night won't kill the raven. 

So he presses his toothbrush into his mouth.

And he spits it out almost three times quicker.

His toothbrush is wet.

It's fucking wet.

Naruto throws it in the bathroom trash can.

Because he would rather sleep with bad breath.

Then to think of the idea of using a toothbrush that was once before inside the mouth of his maybe unlikable guest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna post this last night but I fell asleep for like 12 hours-
> 
> But anyway!!! I hope you enjoyed it!!!


	7. Annoyance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, update today technically!!!
> 
> Hope you guys are good!!

It's hot tonight in the apartment.

And it's proven by the fact that Naruto has stripped himself down to nothing but plaid sleep pants and underwear, which are loose enough to give decent airflow to his under regions. 

But that isn't stopping him from tossing and turning under his blankets. 

He knows that soon enough he will of course fall asleep, but he's angry because he wants to fall asleep now.

Now because one he's tried.

And two because he knows that Sasuke is awake as well. 

He isn't making a sound.

But Naruto knows that he is wide awake.

Thinking about things that Naruto could never even think to ponder on. 

But as Naruto throws his blankets off his bed. He hears them hit something before they fall down to the floor.

He first suspects an intruder.

So he grabs hold of a kunai on his bedside table, and ready it to strike!

But when his eyes see the silhouette of the person that stands in the middle far end of his room, he throws to kunai aside and stands up.

Sasuke is wearing the same hospital pair of pajama pants and the same t-shirt that he has been wearing for what seems like days. His hair is uneven and messy, but the bandages around his eyes are clean and perfectly cut. They seem to the blond's blue electric eyes, to blind him more than he even is. He is clutching a pillow in his arms, and he seems to be trembling in his place. And Naruto feels his heart clench with guilt for he knows that Sasuke is scared because he tossed a blanket at him like he was nothing but air.

Naruto touches his two fingers to Sasuke's left hand.

And his pulse is rushed.

Naruto sighs and reaches behind Sasuke's head to pull to raven into a hug.

But it doesn't seem like a real hug.

Because Naruto shows no remorse.

He feels annoyance,

Why is Sasuke in his room?

And why is he freaked out?

He's had worse.

And Naruto has too.

Naruto has seen Sasuke go through worse, and overcome it in a second.

So why is this affecting him so much?

A strike from a blanket?

Has he really grown this...?

Naruto pulls away from the hug, and his brain instantly silences the feeling of Sasuke's shock. 

The blond walks forward out of his room, and he knows that Sasuke is following him due to the raven's iron grip on his fingers. Naruto's head is red and blue seemingly as he helps the raven sit back down on his futon. Is he being cruel? Or is he doing what's right? Was he cruel to pull away from the hug even though he knew that Sasuke's arms were around him tight for a reason? Okay, maybe he was. But Sasuke is strong. He's just a bit spoked and that's all, Naruto opposes to the blue side of his heart. The red side of him knows that Sasuke is strong-willed and can and will make it through this.

So why is it that Naruto is still being short and quick with him despite knowing that?

Is it disappointment?

"Sasuke, I need to go to bed," Naruto says as he tries to patiently walk his fingers down Sasuke's arm. However, the raven refuses to let go of his fingers. "Sasuke please let go..."

He's too exasperated.

So he draws a question mark on Sasuke's arm as if to question why he refuses to let go. 

Sasuke points to his head.

"Headache..?" Naruto groans as he rubs his eyes, and then Sasuke's forehead to ask in a way.

Sasuke shakes his head and pats the remaining futon.

Naruto quickly presses his head to Sasuke's and shakes his own.

Absolutely not.

Sasuke's better than this, and he knows it. 

But when Sasuke holds up all ten of his fingers.

And places his hands together as though to pray. 

Naruto flops down on the futon and turns his back to Sasuke.

It's ridiculous.

Just fucking ridiculous. 

But as the blond thinks of these words to call the situation, the blue side of his heart sighs in relief as it feels Sasuke lay down on the futon facing his back. Not shaking anymore and breathing calm and smoothly. The red side of him pays no mind though because it and itself are too wrapped up in its own selfish world to realize the fact that Sasuke is comforted by Naruto's presence. 'Comfort is something that he needs.' Sakura would have probably said that if she was still here. But she's not.

And the red side of Naruto's heart wants to blame Sasuke.

But the blue side of his heart cares too much about the boy behind him to even think of it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My teacher was handing out candy for Valentine's day and at first, I was gonna give my rant about how much I hate Valentine's day.
> 
> But then it paid off because I stole the candy that boys in my class wanted so happiness achieved!!!!!


	8. Sensei

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First update today!!!!

Naruto refuses to admit that he might have fallen asleep next to Sasuke.

And he also refuses to admit that this morning he woke up with his head facing Sasuke's. 

Sasuke's smooth but worn and tired face, that was asleep at last beside the blond's own tanned and tired one. Naruto was half asleep at the time, but the blue side of his heart ached as he thought of Sakura and how she once longed to hold and kiss this boy's face. She called him handsome and beautiful. And he called her annoying. And he called Naruto a loser, or even dead last at some point in time. He called everyone annoying. But Sakura still loved him. And Naruto still always called him his friend. But what he called them in the end? He never got the answer to that one. 

Sasuke's face is handsome, so of course, Sakura fell for it.

Naruto's brows pinch as he thinks of this.

Did he just say that Sasuke was handsome?

He nearly crashes into a telephone pole as he re-considers that thought on his way to deliver his report to Kakashi. 

He as a child had always thought of the raven as more of a...

...pale dehydrated... black duck...

He now stops himself to land on a rooftop to let out an explosion of laughter. 

It feels so accurate to him and his still slightly childish mind that he finds it difficult to resume travel to the Hokage's office. 

_Has he always looked like that?_ Naruto thinks with a smile on his face at his own joke as he comes upon the doors to his old Sensei's office. And as he pushes open the doors, he laughs again. But when he turns his head he feels every vein in his body constrict from blood flow. 

She's here.

Turning in paperwork. 

Her hair... is gone. And her face bears a scar that is ugly but beautiful because it is on her face. But her face is no longer kind, and shy and flushed as it once used to be. And she no longer wears a fluffy jacket around her petit body. Which has become pure muscle, especially around her eyes. But Naruto still knows her as Hinata. Hinata Hyuga the cold. Is that what they call her in the streets? That's what Naruto heard last time he was out. But he can't deny that she is cold, because anyone would be after seeing what she had seen that day on the battlefield. The death of her cousin... and then her best friend...

_"If I had been stronger! Then maybe... Sakura could have-!"_

Naruto turns away from her. 

He won't let his mind hear it again.

He's heard too much.

Not again.

"Kakashi-Sensei, it's me," Naruto says as he knocks on the door to the Hokage's office. 

"I know, come in Naruto," Kakashi's now tired and soft voice calls. _He seems more tired these days,_ Naruto thinks sadly as he presses open the door to the office. He sees Kakashi leaning back in his chair, still wearing the same mask and the same relaxing wear. He doesn't wear the hat of the Hokage however, he says that it's too extravagant for him. But there are six mountains of paperwork on his desk, all stacked neat and ready for revision. Naruto glances at the trash can to see about sixteen drained pens in the waste, along with peals of fruit and take out from Sushi restaurants. "You're up early, is there something wrong?"

"Just wanted to get up early," Naruto lies as he places his paperwork in the turn-in bin. "You look tired, are you okay?"

"I'm alright there's no need to worry," Kakashi says with a smile behind his mask. "I would rather turn that question on you Naruto, you look exhausted. Have you been sleeping?"

"Yeah, except for last night."

"Late night thoughts?"

"Along those lines."

Kakashi raises an eyebrow. "Was it Sasuke?"

Naruto flinches and glares at the mention of the raven's name.

"So it is," Kakashi sighs as he stands from his desk and stretches, beckoning Naruto out to stand on the balcony in the morning breeze with him. Naruto hesitates for a moment but knows full well that he cannot refuse an offer from the Hokage. So he steps outside and leans on the rail with Kakashi, who pulls his mask over his noes again satisfied with a breath of clean untouched air. Naruto smiles at this as looks out at the village fresh in the sunrise. It's misty and the sun shines and reflects on the water dew that has formed in the night. And the shops are unopened, but there still seems to be life. "It's nice, isn't it? Peace."

"Of course," Naruto whispers. 

They are silent until Kakashi clears his throat. 

"Naruto, how did you react when you heard Sasuke's diagnosis?"

"Kakashi-Sensei, could we not?"

"Of course, I'm sorry," the Hokage responds slowly. "How is he then?"

"He's... he's..." Naruto struggles to find the words. He doesn't want to reveal his true words, but are those words even true? He's not sure in the slightest. "... difficult."

"Communication wise?"

"No just... difficult all around..."

"It will take time, everything does Naruto."

"I know that..." Naruto says as he rubs his face. "I just want it to go a bit faster... is that wrong?"

"Not at all," Kakashi murmurs. "Not at all..."

Naruto groans now.

"Something the matter?"

"I'm broke and I have to buy two toothbrushes and a lot of tomatoes... could you maybe...?"

"Give me three reasons why I should?" Kakashi says warningly. Which makes Naruto huff. 

"I'm your former student. You're a good person. And Sasuke needs to..."

_Wait..._

"Something wrong?" Kakashi questions. 

"Fuck...!" Naruto gasps as he jumps off the balcony. Ignoring Kakashi's calls as he descends past the trees and shops.

God, he's such an idiot.

And Sasuke must be so scared...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I re-read all your comments-
> 
> I cry every time I see them I swear to god-


	9. Better Than This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last update for today!!! Kinda tired today!!! :'((((
> 
> Sorry guys!!!
> 
> Definitely, three chapters planned for tomorrow!!!

_Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_

He screams mentally as he runs across the rooftops of the shops and houses. 

Damnit why does his apartment seem so far away?

How stupid can he be?

Forgetting about Sasuke?

God, he needs to slap himself in the face.

But that will only slow himself down on his dash back home. 

His balcony is in sight!

 _Fuck hurry up!_ He nearly screams as he throws himself forward with a leap so large that he feels his knee caps stretch wider than they ever have before.

He now throws open his balcony door which was thankfully unlocked and throws off his shoes so hard that he hears them crack the wall slightly when they meet it. But he doesn't care as he runs frantically to his guest's room. Which is still dark so Naruto flips on the light with heavy breaths of air leaving and entering his lungs. But when the light fills up the room, the blond shivers and drops to his knees upon seeing Sasuke. 

Who is curled uptight and nervously in the corner. Trembling and covering his bandaged eyes with his arms which rest on top of his knee caps. His clothed feet are also frantic and overlapping one another in a pattern that has no right to be called a pattern. Crossing over one another with a level of terror of feeling the stomps of the floorboards being run on that he cannot understand or explain to himself. 

Naruto feels christfallen.

Like he has been kicked hard in the chest.

At a loss of air. 

Why is he hiding away?

Why does he act so helpless now?

Isn't Naruto's life long rival stronger than this?

"Why are you...?" Naruto whispered with a trembling and heartless voice as he presses his two fingers to Sasuke's fist. 

The raven leaps forward after Naruto's millisecond touch. 

Wrapping his arms so tight around Naruto's neck and back that Naruto falls backward.

His heartbeat is so quick.

So desperate.

_No..._

_No...!_

"Get off!" Naruto yells as he forces Sasuke's arms off of his neck. "You're better than this!" He screams as Sasuke's titles his head up confused and lost as to why Naruto pushed him away.

'What did I do wrong?' his face seems to say. 'I'm sorry that I-'

"You're better than this!" Naruto screams as he stomps away from Sasuke.

Slamming the door on his way out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'The scared child hides in the corner because it is the easiest place to blend in with when they themselves already are considered nothing but air.' - Me 
> 
> I have one idea for an ending, but I need to write a few drafts before I post it.
> 
> Also, I really hurt my thumb while writing this so it might slow me down but I should be fine!!!


	10. Smoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watching Jojo's while writing this lmao-
> 
> Whatever!!! Enjoy!!!

Naruto is on the roof with Shikamaru.

Smoking his problems away with his friend who has become just as much of a chain smoker as his late Sensei.

What is doing up here?

He hates the smell of cigarette smoke.

And he hates the way the smoke fills his lungs. 

It burns.

And it makes him hate himself. 

"Why'd you push him off?" Shikamaru asks after Naruto exhales a large cloud of smoke, which forms into a ring that floats lazily into the late afternoon air. 

"I told you before Shikamaru because he's better than this," Naruto responds.

"Not really, he's thrown fits like this before."

"It's not a fit, he's acting like a helpless kid," the blond corrects harshly. 

"He is kinda helpless..." Shikamaru says lightly as he flicks. "I mean he's got feeling in his fingers and in the rest of his body, but how much can you do with that? Especially if you've l lived you're with two perfectly functioning eyes and ears. Plus he's an Uchiha, to lose the rinnegan then the eternal Mangekyou, if anyone of his clan was left, he would probably be shamed. He feels shame, it must be embarrassing."

"We've already established how we can talk to each other! Why would he be embarrassed? I haven't said anything about it!"

"Then how are you struggling this fucking much? Unless of course, he can tell that you find him to be a burden?" 

"Don't say it like that... he's not a burden! He's just frustrating! That's all! And he's not helping by clinging onto me. He has to learn how to move his own ass..." Naruto sighs, realizing only after the words leave his mouth how rude and incentive he sounds. He hates it of course. But the red side of his heart knows it too be true. Sasuke needs to learn! Sasuke himself knows that! 

"Used to be such a stupid smiley kid..." Shikamaru murmurs. "Such a dick nowadays..."

"I'm right though..."

"Maybe, but you're being too _right_ ," Shikamaru emphasizes as he chucks his cigarette butt off the roof, and stand up with a creak in his knees.

"Leaving already?"

"I still have some iffy's with Uchiha, so I'm gonna head home, but thanks."

And he's gone.

And left Naruto alone with his thick head that somehow must deal with his own problems.

_Too **right?**_

What the hell does to be right mean?

He's not too right!

He's **perfectly** right!

"Hey! Naruto!"

He wakes from his pride-filled head.

"Oh? Need something else Shikamaru?" the blond asks, trying to hide his own smile at his own false words. 

"Nah, just forgot to tell you that Lady Tsunade told me that you're needed at her place tomorrow at noon."

"W-Why?" Naruto asks, already knowing the answer.

"Don't be stupid," Shikamaru says firmly. "It's been two months now, it's time by law to read her will."

"Tell Granny that I'm sick."

"I'm not gonna lie to her."

"Well, then I'll take a transport mission."

"Kakashi knows about it too, he's gonna be there as well," Shikamaru snaps, his tone is already full of impatience.

"Then give them-!"

"Naruto! You have to go!"

Naruto's eyes flash with sudden red.

He feels his whole body jolt in anger. 

And he feels Kurama stir under his skin.

"Don't act like that," the burnet sighs miserably. "You'll make me sad, and that's just a waste of energy. I've already heard enough about it man. Ino, Choji, and I had coffee the other day, and Ino started crying about her. She nearly maxed us out because she made us stay there so long!"

He pauses as he sees Naruto's glare.

"...But I'm not saying I don't hurt. She was stubborn and moody. But she was good and strong when we needed her. And she performed some of the best medical-ninjutsu I've ever fucking seen! ...But you need to face reality Naruto..."

"You think I haven't Shikamaru? I was holding her when she died. You think I haven't accepted the situation?"

"Nevermind..." he whispers. "Just be there for the first part at least..."

"...and try and fix it with Sasuke..."

Naruto heaves and stretches his hand out for another smoke.

And after a moment...

...Shikarmaru obliges. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finished Jojo's... 
> 
> ...gonna pull a Yuki from given-


	11. Rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last update for today!!!!!

Silence...

Or no maybe it's cold to even make conversation.

Fuck he needs to call the landlord to fix the heater. 

Autumn is coming upon them.

And Naruto hates the cold.

And the need to wrap himself in more than one blanket at night.

"Here's what you wanted," a clone says as he slams a cup of fresh noodles now on Naruto's placemat, which makes the broth spill over the sides and the chopsticks fall off the rim. "Freshly cooked by yours truly!"

"The hell is that!" another clone yells as he stumbles and falls out of the kitchen. "That looks like stringy chicken shit! You call those noodles!"

"You were supposed to watch them so they didn't get soggy! Now we have to cook all over again!" the first clone yells back, as he points accusingly at the second clone. Who holds a plate of tomatoes salad and water with medication already mixed in. So the second clone throws the food in his hands in front of the person who sits opposite Naruto, and beings a hasty fight with the first clone, who acts instantaneously as well. And this makes Naruto rolls his eyes as he pulls his ramen up to his face, slurping down the noodles as he gazes across the table.

At Sasuke.

He's been quiet ever since Naruto has gotten home. 

And his fingertips are stained with dark blue ink which will not come out for a good day or two.

Naruto's stomach is uneasy at these visuals and actions. 

But as he sees Sasuke reach forward for his food...

...the blue side of his heart makes his fingers twitch as it sees Sasuke shakily lift the bowl of salad to his mouth.

He takes a moment to pick up the leaves of lettuce with his fork.

But when he feels the fork grow heavy enough for his liking.

Naruto sees him lift and place the food into his mouth.

And chew slowly.

And he does it again.

And again.

And again.

Again.

The blonds at a loss.

So much to the point that he doesn't feel the paper tap his skin as Sasuke slides it across the table to him. 

"What's this..." Naruto starts to say, but he forces himself to trail off as he unfolds the paper and comes across a mess of ink. Rubbed on the edges of the paper like a toddler with its parent's makeup. The paper is wet and curled on the edges, but it is still formed enough to show the words that Sasuke seems to have put his all into writing down. How did he write these words? First, he would have to find a pen... then paper... then he would have to find a ruler... to get the lines of his syllables so straight... and nearly perfect. All to write something down? What is this anyway? Wait... it's a list...

**Rule's (I'm Sorry):**

**1\. I will try and manage for myself, I know that this is hard on you.**

**2\. I will try my best not to get worried about not being able to find you in the mornings, just please leave a glass of water near my door if you can. This can just show me that you're not here. So I don't freak out again or get worried.**

**3\. I won't ask you for much, just some toiletries and other things like that, and if you could maybe leave a clone behind to help with my dinner and medication, that would be really good.**

**4\. Please show me that you are near me by touching me with your fingers as you have been doing.**

**5\. Don't bring Sakura here, she won't want to see me like this.**

Naruto feels the ramen in his stomach go rancid with the words. 

But when he feels another piece of paper hit his knuckles, he jumps.

This one is messier and has no perfect lines like the first one does. But Naruto's handwriting is worse, and he can still make it out. 

**Naruto, the clock's hands stop for an hour when they hit 9:30. I noticed it last night when I fell on the table (I'm sorry). Can I please have that clock in my room? Because I want to keep it as a reminder. I want to try something, and I know you're going to hate it but please just listen first. When I feel the clock stop, would you mind if I just spent an hour with you? I... I haven't been able to sleep very well. And being around you helps a bit. Nightmares... and everything like that... and I know you're not comfortable sleeping next to me.**

**So could you maybe spare one hour?**

**I know this is a lot.**

**But please?**

**From one friend to another?**

"N...n..."

Why can't he say no?

What's stopping him!?

This is too much!

It's a complete overstep! 

He can't say yes!

No normal friend-!

No! No normal human would say yes!

But despite this.

He's walking over.

_Stop!_

He's pressing his head to Sasuke's.

_This is wrong!_

And he is...

_Where's your sense of pride?!_

Nodding. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sleep well guys!!!


	12. Tremble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two chapters today!!!
> 
> Sorry, I'm kinda tired!!!

Naruto hears the clock.

Or maybe it's all his ears are currently able to hear.

Due to the anger and emotional complication he feels. 

The clock's ticks are loud against the blond's eardrums. So loud that he can feel them echoing as they hit the back of his skull.

He knows that they will stop soon.

Very soon.

 _Slow down..._ he thinks as he places his head inside his cupped hands.

Which are covered in sweat.

Sweat that smells of fear

What is he even supposed to do?

What is Sasuke going to do?

Will he try and use his hands?

Will he cry?

_Slow down..._

It doesn't.

Time doesn't stop in real-time.

But the clock's ticks go silent.

Time stops for no one.

He feels Sasuke stand from his bed.

And push open the door.

And the blond's eyes slowly drift upward as he watches Sasuke walk down the hallway. He clutches the wall like it is the third leg. His fingers are extended so they can feel every crack and corner in the wall. Feel. Not see. The back of his mullet is in a slight ponytail which is lower than his ears. But his bangs still hang to frame his face, longer than usual, but not enough to look as bad as they used to during the first chunin exams. Then they had grown so long and so ugly. All while Sasuke was so immersed in training. How long has it been since Sasuke has held his sword? Thrown a kunai? Woven a Jutsu with his skilled long fingers? 

Naruto is unable to even put a number on it.

Or a time.

He feels his couch shakily push down under the weight of another. 

He feels the air around Sasuke tremble. 

_Why so scared? You suggested this._

He's a brat.

But it's only an hour.

That's all he's asked for.

So his red side will give him his hour, with a pushed up lip and a moody demeanor.

But if his blue side could be as true as his red.

He would let him stay forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short I know!!! The final chapter for today will come out in a couple of hours!! That one will be longer I promise 
> 
> ~('3')~<3
> 
> Sorry for making you all cry!!!!


	13. 3600

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last update for tonight!!!
> 
> I'm just working on its while watching one of those trash comedies with my family
> 
> (x,-,x)
> 
> help...me...

_How many seconds in an hour?_

_60 minutes an hour..._

_60 seconds in a minute..._

_That's..._

_3600 seconds..._

_Fuck..._

_How many seconds in two minutes...?_

But Naruto presses his head backward on the sofa slowing his breathing to the point to the point where it becomes choked in his chest where Sasuke is resting.

Naruto can't tell if he's asleep against his chest. But he knows at least that one of them is comfortable in the situation. But Naruto is majorly uncomfortable in every single way. But as he feels Sasuke shift ever so slightly on his chest, he feels his whole body freeze as he realizes how cold the fractions of his body are without Sasuke's body resting on them. 

Resting peacefully.

His pulse was rushed at first. 

But now it feels so slow and calm. Actually, it had gone calm from the second he had laid on Naruto's chest. They had sat for a minute or two on that couch. Before Sasuke had held up his finger. As if to say, **one hour** and Naruto had no idea what made him not protest to Sasuke crawling on his lap and resting his pale head against his shoulder. Maybe it was because they had made a deal. Or maybe it was because the raven hadn't touched him other bothered him since he had taken the hint and slammed the door in his face. 

Or...

Maybe...

It was how tight he had clenched the blond's shirt in between his fingers.

Maybe it was because he was so sincere as he nuzzled his face close to the blond's chest. Listening to his heartbeat. Actually, Naruto knows that Sasuke is still awake because ever so often he feels Sasuke's finger twitch and moves up and down. Lightly. But he knows he's awake. Feeling his heart. Feeling the thump under his finger pads. But he knows that Sasuke's probably also in deep thought about Naruto's heartbeat. He's probably thinking about why it beats so fast at some point, but so slow at others. And he can probably feel Naruto's stomach rumbling. 

But Naruto knows that Sasuke is also longing in his thoughts.

Longing to listen.

Longing to speak.

Longing to see.

Naruto knows that he wants to do more than feel.

Because even touch gets boring when it's only one of two options. 

And Naruto knows.

What the hell is he thinking?

He doesn't know shit.

He can't understand.

 _"What makes you think you could ever understand?"_ Sasuke had once screamed as he lay below Naruto, his Sharingan's swirling like a fire that had reached beyond its boundaries. His curse mark exploding out like acid. 

_I never thought I could..._

_But then I thought I could..._

_Well, apparently the fuck not._

"Sorry..." Naruto mouths. "I was lying when I said that."

Sasuke doesn't show any reaction.

He remains curled up and still.

Feeling.

Naruto's arms remain down.

He should lift them up.

He should comfort Sasuke.

But...

He doesn't want to lie to him again. 

_1,800 seconds down._


	14. Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that I'm updating so late at night!
> 
> I got in a huge fight with my parents and I was banned from the computer all day!! Sorry about that!!!
> 
> Only one update tonight!! And I won't be posting tomorrow because Sunday is gonna be my off day!!!
> 
> Enjoy!!!

Naruto can't explain the feeling of discomfort and confusion he feels.

What is even supposed to be doing?

Sasuke just told him that he wanted to be around him.

But was that all?

Is Naruto's presence that comforting?

He doesn't understand.

Sasuke has run away from Naruto so much.

Why now?

Was it because he admitted defeat?

Was it because he said he changed?

Has he even changed?

Naruto feels Sasuke's breath against his clothed skin.

He feels how tight he holds his shirt in his fists.

Naruto hates the feeling.

The feeling that Sasuke gives off...

How does he describe it?

Like holding an ant. A small ant. Like an ant that a child could find in the park. Under the woodchips, or under a rock. Not an ant with pinchers, or an ant with poisoned blood. But just an ant that weighed now less than the head of a thumbtack. And ant that Naruto could crush with no more effort than pulling a hair from his head. He could squish it like it was nothing. It wouldn't bring him any trouble, or hate. He could just kill it or squish it dead. Like the nothing that is, or has become.

So why not?

Why doesn't Naruto squish the ant dead?

In some ways, the ant deserves to be crushed.

Right?

The ant has bitten Naruto in the past.

It has stung him where it hurts over ten million times it seems.

So why doesn't he crush the ant?

Why doesn't he push Sasuke's head off his shoulder?

Why doesn't he send him away?

Back to the hospital where he really does belong.

 _Why don't you...?_ Naruto thinks as he glances down to stare at the top of Sasuke's head. He can see a small portion of his forehead. And his covered and bandaged upper face. His pale face. Which is flushed around the edges and weathered. Tired looking. _Why don't you?_ He wants to in some parts of his mind. It's weird and uncomfortable to him. Anyone would be uncomfortable. Because it isn't normal, for someone who tried to kill you, your friends, and others, to suddenly asks for cuddles in his disabled state.

But...

All he asked for...

Was one hour.

And all she asked for...

She had asked for...

**"Naruto, I need you to make me a promise."**

**"Huh? What do you mean, Sakura?"**

**"I mean what I said Naruto, I need you to promise me something."**

**"W-Why're you talking about promises like that? Y-You're talking like you might..."**

**"...Our opponents are strong Naruto, you know that."**

**"A-And you're strong too Sakura!"**

**"I've already written it down in my will... but I just need you to promise me this now-!"**

**"Stop that! Stop talkin' like you're gonna die!"**

**"Naruto!"**

**"Sakura!"**

**"...Please..."**

**"F-Fine, but I won't say I will until I hear it!"**

**"Naruto, I want you to promise me, that after this stupid war ends. After you get home. With Sasuke like you promised... I want you to promise me to take care of him. No... I want you to promise me that you'll watch over him. E-Even if he says no! E-Even if he resists... and makes it hard. I want you please never let him feel alone. I want you to force him... to know... and believe... that you are there for him. Please... promise me that he will never be alone... even if he's fine... and seems perfect on the outside. I want you to always be there for him. If... if I can't."**

**"Why're you talking like your gonna die Sakura! Stop it! And why're are you inferring that Sasuke won't be okay?!"**

**"Naruto... this war will be hard on him... and you too-!"**

**"No! I refuse your promise! Because Sasuke gonna be fine! And you will be too! So don't ask me to make promises like that! Because I'll never say yes! Do you hear me? So drop it!"**

He's cold. 

Wait...

Why so cold all of a sudden?

Sasuke's... gone?

But now he hears them.

The ticks of the clock.

Has it been an hour?

No, it couldn't have been.

How did Sasuke know then?

That the hour had run out?

"Did he...?" Naruto whispers as he recalculates the seconds in an hour. "He counted..."

He kept his promise.

Perfectly.

Naruto falls back down upon the couch.

Feeling the blanket of silence around him break as the clock ticks fully register in his mind.

What is he supposed to feel at this?

Comfort?

Sadness?

Because right now he only feels empty.

Empty.

Empty in silence that doesn't even exist. 

_It kinda..._

_...hurts..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for only one update!!! Today was just a really hard day for me!!
> 
> But we hit 1,000 hits and I started crying-
> 
> So-


	15. Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I find it hilarious sometimes that people in the Naruto fandom will just automatically refuse to ship Narusasu, purely because Naruto ends up marrying Hinata in the end, and Sasuke with Sakura. 
> 
> Like sir did we watch the same show?
> 
> I mean I ship HinaNaru in a sense, but Sasusaku...
> 
> whatever!!! 
> 
> New chapter!!! I'll be updating three times today!!!

Naruto wakes up before he can hear his alarm clock.

And the first thing he notices is how bad his morning breath is.

 _Gross..._ He thinks as he turns to face his window. The morning sun is just coming over the horizon, but today is grey in the overcast enough to hide the sun from fully showing. The blond can smell the rain coming later in the day, but not the rain where one can feel contempt and happiness in it. But the rain that makes the pavement stink and heat up. Naruto hates that kind of rain. But as he rubs the crust away from his eyelids, not moving from the heat in his bed, which is comforting on this soon to be nasty day. A young sparrow lands on his window still. And it taps its beak on the glass, before it turns its head sideways, and then takes flight again. 

Naruto can't imagine having that much stamina in the morning.

Right now he is struggling to even brush his teeth.

But after he finishes his two-minute countdown and spits, he walks into his living room and begins his morning workout.

100 Push-Ups.

100 Air Squats.

75 Sit-Ups.

75 Dips.

50 Pull-Ups.

50 Lunges.

He used to do more of course when his life was on the line.

Or when there was a war on the horizon.

But that seems like a stretch to accomplish when there is peace through this lovely ninja world.

Naruto finishes his last lunge with a sigh however as he thinks of that.

Peace throughout...

Seems boring.

Not like peace is bad in any retrospect.

But... there seems to be so much of it now...

that the blond is bored.

He slams his head against the wall of the shower as he thinks that.

He has fought for this peace! 

"Be proud of it!" He hisses as he furiously runs a towel through his mullet. "You're talkin' like an idiot!"

He is proud of it!

Who wouldn't be?

And as he pulls on an under-t-shirt, and begins to crack eggs into a bowl, while throwing bacon into his frying pan. He makes a long and easy list in his brain about all the good things this war has brought for him, and the shinobi world. And as he stirs his eggs around in the pan, he has to stop making the list. Because it has grown too long. But as he sits down and begins to chew his food, he feels his mouth halt halfway through a bite as his mind snaps. 

What about Sasuke's food?

Wait...

What was he supposed to leave out for Sasuke if he was going out again?

Was it a glass of water?

He reaches for this list on the table to re-check.

"Leave a glass of water near his door..." Naruto reads out loud as he stands from his chair and goes into the cabinet and pulls out a glass. "Is that it?"

_What about some food?_

Why doesn't Sasuke ask for food? He can't make food, not without a shadow clone. But Sasuke doesn't seriously expect Naruto to remember every day to leave one behind. Does he have that much faith in the blond? Now that's a stretch. And a stretch that makes Naruto clench his teeth in a way. _I thought I was an idiot..._ He says to himself as he angrily fills the glass with water and pulls out the cling film from his drawers. 

Since when does Sasuke believe in Naruto so much, huh?

Since when did he think so highly of him?

Honestly, Naruto is starting to prefer being thought of as an idiot rather than this high and mighty being of Sasuke's imagination.

But he can't keep thinking about every move Sasuke makes. 

Sasuke's moves are his own stupid mistakes.

And Naruto's going to be late for the reading if he doesn't hurry up.

So he quickly dumps off Sasuke's water glass reminder before he leaps from the window to run to Tsunade's house on the other side of town. 

Fastening his headband around his forehead.

And trying not to think about if his breakfast that he left for Sasuke will be cold by the time the raven wakes up.

Because...

...it's not his problem.

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna take a fast nap before I publish the next chapter!!! 
> 
> Next update in an hour!!


	16. Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back from my nap!!!! 
> 
> Let's do this!!!

Tsunade's garden is full of flowers that Naruto can't name.

Dead ones, actually.

In the summer they were red, pink, and white.

But now they are shriveled and brown.

It's another reason why Naruto hates autumn so much.

But he can't change the seasons.

So he sighs and knocks at his Grany's door.

And soon another familiar face comes to answer him.

"Naruto?" 

"Hey Shizune, how are you?" Naruto asks kindly to the black-haired woman, who wears the same grey kimono as usual. She looks much older than she did the last time Naruto saw her. But he doesn't want to think that in his own head, because that would be terribly rude. 

"I'm alright, thank you," She says kindly, as she opens to door more to let Naruto inside. "Everyones already arrived, but your not late, don't worry. Tea?"

"Sure," Naruto replies as he takes a glass of steaming jasmine in his hands. 

He lets his eyes travel to the pictures that hang all over the walls. 

There are pictures of Tsunade with her grandfathers and her younger brother. Naruto smiles, she looks rather happy in those.

He sees pictures of her and her old teammates. 

The third Hokage.

Orochimaru.

Pervy Sage.

In pictures, it looks easier to be alive back then.

But Naruto knows that it was never easy back then. 

"Just this way Naruto," Shizune says as she leads the blond through the narrow house. 

Naruto glances to the right as he walks.

And tries not to stop in his tracks as he does.

He catches sight of a more heart-wrenching picture.

It's of Tsunade and Sakura.

Sakura is holding a small baby slug in her hands, her face marveled and flushed at seeing it. It must have been the first one she summoned. 

And Tsunade is sitting next to her, smiling, and proud beyond words at her student.

It stings like a paper cut.

Naruto quickly turns away.

Shizune now opens the door for the living room, which Naruto walks through quickly, trying to remove the memories of the picture from his mind. And he comes into the room and looks into the faces of all the people, and now he feels worse. Kakashi is sitting by Tsunade. They look to be comforting each other. And Naruto knows not to interfere with that. But upon looking at the other people in the room, he's not sure he wants to interfere anywhere else. Sai is sitting near Ino, who had her face in her hands, clearly trying not to let the room hear cries. Naruto can't even imagine how hard this must be on her. Sakura and Ino when they were young always pretended to be at each other's throats. But Naruto sees now how much Ino loved and cared for her friend. 

He sees Lee here as well. His own head is down with respect, and TenTen is with him. Her eyes still tired and dull from losing Neji. But Naruto knows that she is trying her best to stay strong. But when his eyes reach Hinata, and her short cut hair he shivers. For her head is up, and she is trying to look proud in her state of humiliation. So Naruto takes a seat where the people are not looking. Because he doesn't want to see their looks, because he too is barely keeping it together. 

"Lady Tsunade," Shizune whispers gently, as she taps her friend's shoulder. "Everyone has arrived."

"...Yes, thank you Shizune," Tsunade says with a wavering voice as she picks up a medium stack of papers from in front of her. And she slides a large box closer to her as well. Her painted hands trembling as she does. "Welcome everyone, I know we are all here due to the worst circumstances. So I will try and make this quick. But before we begin, I wish to say a few words before I read.

Sakura Haruno was no less than a daughter to me. She was the strongest female shinobi I have ever known and taught. And she was short-tempered like me, but she was also kind and loving in the best ways. So I am in as much pain as some of you. So please excuse me if my voice wavers a bit. I know Sakura will forgive me." She finishes as she pulls the papers up and puts on her reading glasses.

Naruto clenches his teacup.

He'd rather be deaf like Sasuke.

No...

He'd rather be dead.

Because then he would know if Sakura was doing fine wherever she was.

Rather than suffering here in silence. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, second update!!! I'll start right away on the last one!!!
> 
> Thanks again for all your comments.


	17. Ino

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last update for tonight!!!

"'Sakura Haruno was killed during the battle of the fourth great ninja war. The cause of death was an inflicted and terminal stab wound to the heart, created by the late Obito Uchiha. Sakura was pronounced dead five hours after her wound was inflicted. Death was caused due to a jutsu that was placed on her that shut down her chakra networks, which stopped her Rene rebirth jutsu from healing her. She passed in the arms of Naruto Uzumaki. And was cremated upon request of her last will. And as also requested by her, her ashes were mixed in with the seeds of a Sakura Cherry Tree. Which was planted in the forest that surrounds The Village Hidden in the Leaves. And under a protection jutsu, her resting place cannot, and will never be disturbed.'" Tsunade reads perfectly, with all the life and soul leaving her voice.

Naruto fills the tea in his cup sear with the anger that pulses from his hands.

Everyone is silent.

Ino has pressed her head down on the table.

And everyone knows better than to look at her.

"I will now begin the reading of Sakura's will."

_Please don't for god's sake..._

"'The testament of Sakura Haruno. To be read by her Sensei and Master Tsunade, if possible. I Sakura Haruno, fully consent to write and create this will. And as sealed and represented by my signature, please begin this reading/creation. Firstly, I request the presents of the following people to hear and receive during the reading of this will.'"

Naruto's ears try to latch onto any sound other than Tsunade's voice.

"'TenTen, Rock Lee, Sai, Kakashi Hatake, Hinata Hyūga, Naruto Uzumaki, and Ino Yamanaka.'"

_God, why do all the flies die in the fall?_

"'Hi guys, I'm sorry that you're hearing this. I hope you all know that I am sorry a million times over that I left. And I know that you all would rather listen to me die over a thousand more times than hear what I've left behind. But it was required. So I hope you guys can lend an ear and listen. You all allowed leaving as soon as you hear your full peace. I won't torture you guys that much. But I know that you all will probably stay, so I guess that's all the warning I can give.'"

Naruto hears Ino let out a sob.

It's quite painful to hear. 

"'First I leave to TenTen a thank you. Thanks, TenTen, for being another one of those girls in the class, who was always stronger than you showed yourself to be. Thanks for just bringing me there, in the chunin exams, as a training partner. Just thank you! Keep it up with Neji too! I hope you guys get somewhere soon, ya know?'"

TenTen's tears are heard as she stands up from her seat. "E-Excuse me."

She runs out the door, covering her face as she does. 

"'S-Secondly I leave to Rock Lee the same get well card he once made me after I had trained too hard when I was younger,'" Tsunade reaches into the box, and hands Lee a pink colored piece of paper. Covered in glitter and marker streaks. "'Thank you once again, Lee, for always believing in me. Even when I didn't deserve it. Thank you for being kind. You are the finest shinobi of our time. Never give up on your dreams Lee. Never stop pushing farther. And never forget that you are stronger and bigger than the coldest heart because you possess the warmest one I've ever known. And thank you for all those kisses you used to blow at me. I was childish to refuse them then, but now I would take a million of them. And it would be an honor.'"

 _Finally got noticed Bussy Brows..._ Naruto thinks solemnly as he hears Lee bow himself out. Naruto knows that he is going to cry when he is out of sight. But he cannot judge or blame him. 

"'Now to Sai, I would like to leave a fat punch to the face for always calling me ugly. But I'm gonna be nice, and leave you this,'" Tsunade now reaches into the large box beside her and pulls out a small pouch, which jingles with coins. And she passes it o Sai, who takes it into his pale hands, with questioning eyes. "'It's not gonna last long knowing you. But enjoy a couple of trips to the art store! I know you love drawing, and I noticed your traveling pencils getting a little short. So how about you buy yourself some new ones, okay? And draw a really nice picture. But don't make it all sad. Because I don't want the only thing you feel to be sadness, Sai. So draw your heart out. And don't listen to anyone who says that your drawings are trash. Because I think they're beautiful.'"

Naruto doesn't watch Sai's reaction to his gift, because he knows that there's not gonna be much to show.

But Naruto knows what Sai is feeling as he bows himself out.

He's just unsure of how to express said feeling. 

"'To Kakashi-Sensei, I would love to leave behind more money for you to buy special editions of your pervy books. But I'm not gonna feed into your bad habits. So I too will only leave behind my thanks to you. You were the best Sensei I could have ever had. You were always kind and always there for me Naruto, and Sasuke too. I know I was never your favorite, but I knew that you loved me like a daughter in a sense. And when I and Naruto passed the bell test that time. You acknowledged me. Thanks for that. It meant more than you will ever know Sensei. So thank you a million times, for being my Sensei. And always patting my head. Look out for Naruto and Sasuke for me, and make sure to keep smiling like you always did. And that should be enough, Kakashi-Sensei. So to you, I leave my forehead protector, keep it safe okay? Just like you kept me safe all those times when I was nothing but I helpless little girl.'"

Kakashi is silent as he receives and holds Sakura's scratched up and old headband. 

And that is what makes Naruto's chest hurt.

Kakashi's silence.

His weapon is used when he doesn't want to cry. 

"'Hinata! Oh my god, we never really got to ever catch up, did we? I'm sorry about that. I guess that's why I don't have much to say. Other than good luck out there! Though you probably won't need it. Because you are so much stronger than you will ever know. You used to be so distracted, just like me, but we grew up didn't we? I'm glad about that too. Because we showed 'em good didn't we? Keep showing 'em Hinata. That's all I have to say, but don't forget my words! And don't ever stop training, and don't ever give up. Okay?'"

Hinata stands with a nod as soon as Tsunade is done. 

And she leaves with her skirt swinging behind her.

Not looking on the past just like she had said that day on the battlefield. 

"'Naruto.'"

_Fuck..._

"'You... were always an idiot. And I guess I always used that against you. I would always be crying to you. Because I knew you would always comfort me. Because you loved me a lot didn't you?'"

_Yeah... I did..._

"'I'm sorry that you did. I never have and I never will deserve someone as kind and smiley as you. You deserve someone who will never fail to love you. Not an angry mess like me. But I won't bore you with things that can't come true. So I'll just get on with it. I don't have much to give you. So I'll just give you this,'" Tsunade reaches down for the seemingly millions of times and slides a small piece of paper over to Naruto's side of the table. Which he reads without really wanting to. "'Good for three times! I know you always loved their ramen, and yes I know that ramen can't fix everything... but I know it can fix some small things along the way. So use it Naruto? Please? And know that I send it with love. I love you so much Naruto. Not in that way, but in the way that you know I mean. Please, take care Naruto. Of yourself mostly, but Sasuke too. I'm not asking you that because I want to torture you, but because I know how special he is to you, and me as well. But it's about you from now on Naruto. I hope you know that. I love you so much Naruto, and I'm so sorry again, that I'm making you hear this.'"

Naruto isn't breathing.

And he can hear Kurama whispering words of comfort inside him.

_It doesn't hurt..._

_I'm over it..._

_It can't hurt me any...more..._

"'I-Ino. You've always been my friend, just as much as you always had my heart. Never was there a time when you didn't. It's hard for me to write this, especially knowing that you might end up hearing it. I don't want to die in battle. No matter how honorable people make it out to be, it's really not. Especially if you have something waiting for you when you get back. Or when you're supposed to get back. Ino, I don't have much to say in this will, because I've always told you everything that you need to know. But I'll tell you again as I give you this,'" Tsunade reaches into the box for the final time and pulls out a thing that makes Naruto silently shatter his teacup. "'It's the same ribbon you gave me that day, it's a little old now. But I've always kept it safe, so maybe it won't look its age.'"

Ino is beyond crying as she clutches the ribbon close to her heart.

Sobbing as she holds this lifeless object over her broken heart.

"'I hope you know how much of a friend you were to me Ino. I know that you know this, but let's just tell you again. I love you so much Ino. And I'm sorry that you're hearing this. Because now I'll never be able to say it again. Or hold your hand again. And I'm crying now because... you asked me once when you were doing my hair if I would marry you. I'm sorry that we never went through with it. And I'm sorry also to everyone we confused. Sasuke probably knew the truth though, huh? But it was fun, playing that game of pretend to love. I always said I loved Sasuke. And sometimes I got a bit too into the part, but I'll say it again Ino. So you know where I stand. I love you forever Ino, and yeah, if you're not hearing this. I'll marry you. 

It's a promise.'"

Naruto doesn't watch as Ino is helped up by Kakashi.

He hears her sobbing even as she leaves the house.

But as he turns andsees Tsunade.

He mutes her screams and sobs. 

And hugs Tsunade in her sorrow. 

Who falls apart at the seems as she places Sakura's will down.

_It doesn't hurt..._

"H-Have you told S-Sasuke...?" Tsunade asks as she pushes Naruto gently off of her, and wipes her eyes.

_I'm not sad._

"He..."

_I'm not going to cry._

"He doesn't need to know Granny."

_I'm okay._

"He never even, cared in the first place."

_I'm just angry._

_That's all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've always been a huge SakuIno shipper
> 
> Sorry if you don't like it!!!!


	18. Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I woke up this morning to someone telling me that I'm not allowed to ship narusasu because it's not canon and also because I'm a woman-
> 
> I was laughing for like ten full minutes-

If there was ever an option to turn back time.

Naruto would take said option in a half a second.

However, he would probably need all the time in the world to fix and build his own perfect reality. 

But he knows who would and wouldn't be there.

Except for one person.

What is he supposed to do with Sasuke?

Has Sasuke really ever... _added..._ anything to Naruto's life?

"Stop it," He says to himself as he walks the stairs to his apartment. Ignoring the smell of smoke that is coming up behind him. It hurts his throat. "What do you want Shikamaru?"

"No need to be so harsh kid, I just have to relay a message to you."

"I'm not a kid Shikamaru, I'm sixteen years old," Naruto hisses. 

Shikamaru pauses slightly at the blond's tone.

"Alright, your not a kid, sorry," He responds quiet tone, which makes the blond cringe.

Naruto is taking it out on his friend. And that's not right.

"What do you need to tell me?" Naruto asks softly.

"Tsunade needs you to bring in Sasuke to the hospital tomorrow," Shikamaru explains. "She just called me over after you left. Apparently, she's noticed an error on Sasuke's charts."

"Error?"

"She said that the testing for his ears is incorrect, and doesn't add up. She wants to take a look at his eardrums."

_Incorrect...?_

"So... he could...?"

Shikamaru places his hand on Naruto's shoulders.

"Look at me."

_Oh god, a pep-talk._

"This doesn't mean that-"

"That he can be cured," Naruto interrupts his tone a bit more mushed together than the first time he spoke. "I know Shikamaru."

The burnet tilts his head to the side at the blond's reaction.

"Have you been drinking?"

"... I just went for a beer..." Naruto responds, as he averts his eyes from Shikamaru's. "It's no big deal."

"How did you even get it? Your underage?"

"I'm also the shinobi that saved the Hidden Leaf from certain doom twice."

"Why'd you drink in the first place?"

"I just attended the will reading of my dead friend."

"What about Sasuke? You still have to-"

"Sasuke is fine."

"Why so defensive?"

"Why do you care?"

Shikamaru is silent at that.

"You signed up to take care of him Naruto."

"Well, I'm starting to want to change my decision."

"You want to throw him back in the hospital?"

"I want him to make an effort."

"You don't really mean that."

"Maybe I do!"

"..."

"Bring him in tomorrow." Shikamaru snaps as he throws his cigarette at Naruto's feet. "And make him dinner, you fucking asshole."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shitty chapter but whatever.
> 
> Kinda at a slump because I can't decide on a good ending.
> 
> One more chapter today!!!


	19. Burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last update for tonight!!!! I'm out of my house tonight and it's harder for me to write when I'm not home so I apologize!!!!

Naruto's currently vomiting over the toilet. 

And he thought that beer tasted bad when it was going down.

Shikamaru is right. 

He is a fucking asshole.

In retrospect though.

He's not that humble.

He can hear Sasuke walking down the hall.

He must have felt the floorboards vibrate when Naruto collapsed on the floor.

He has had far more than one beer.

 _"Get it together kid,"_ Kurama hisses as Naruto spits up the final stomach acids in his own throat. It's revolting to taste. _"Uchiha's coming, he'll get worried."_

"I don't need you to tell me that," Naruto groans as he heaves himself off the ground. Leaning over the sink wanting to suddenly be back over the toilet as he feels Sasuke's breath next to him. 

He sighs and very lightly slams his two fingers down on Sasuke's hand.

_What's that..._

He looks down.

"For fucks sake!" Naruto yells as he grabs Sasuke by his arm and slams him down on the covered toilet. His hand was burn like an overchard piece of pork, and it had been lossly wrapped with nothing but toilet paper. The blond quickly begins to scawang around in the cabinets for bandages, and soon he comes up with an almost empty bottle of treatment ointment, gaws, and bandages. "What the fuck happened you idiot?"

He traces a question mark on the ravens arm. 

And adds an explanation point to further his expression. 

Sasuke motions to his stomach, and then makes the motion as though to turn on the gas in the stove.

"Oh my..." Naruto covers his head with anger. But after a second of furious huffs, he presses the ointmet onto Sasuke's skin. 

He doesn't even flinch.

_High pain tolerance huh?_

"So..." Naruto says sarcastically to himself with an eye roll. "Why'd you try and cook?"

He draws a question mark.

The raven rubs his stomach in response.

"I left you food, fucking nimwit-!"

His hand is cold.

Sasuke is feeling is forehead.

He mouths:

**Hot.**

**Fever.**

Naruto fastens the bandages as tight as he possibly can.

"I'm fine," Naruto snaps, as he quietly pats Sasuke's arm and stands up. 

But his shirt is caught by Sasuke's hand.

**9:30**

_Fuck me..._


	20. Wrap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bought myself a little cake today to celebrate almost 2k reads...
> 
> ...and I fell and dropped it.

Their position is different tonight.

Wait...

 _The_ position is different tonight.

It involves something that is more suited to Naruto's intoxicated state of mind. Even though, the entire purpose of these meetings is to help Sasuke. Naruto is laying on the couch, with his back to the cushions. And his right arm under his head and his left arm resting on his hip. He's struggling to stay awake at the moment. Because vomiting takes energy, and the fun of being drunk for a little while, always ends in sleep and then a painful hangover. 

Naruto longs to take a shower.

Because he can still smell the jasmine tea on his clothes. 

As well as the smell of Tsunade's perfume. 

It reminds him of today's scenes and events.

They made him drink. 

_He_ didn't make himself drink.

Because he himself isn't affected by the day's events.

That's right.

They don't trouble him one bit.

One bit.

What does bother him is the fact that Sasuke smells of his own shampoo.

Actually... Sasuke wears it quite a bit better than him.

Wait then why is he mad?

Oh right...

Because of his hand.

_High pain tolerance my ass... he just got used to it after all those years with Orochimaru._

Something on the blue side of Naruto's heart makes a noise. Something about Orochimaru being a changed person, but Naruto waves that side of himself down. Because he's not particularly mad at Orochimaru. 

He's just mad that Orochimaru did turn good in a way.

Because if he hadn't changed sides in the war.

Naruto could have had a fun time tearing him to shreds for what he convinced Sasuke to do.

_Wait..._

There he goes again!

Contradicting himself!

He can almost hear Shikamaru's reason in the back of his brain.

Sasuke breaths out suddenly.

Naruto glances down.

His eyes are still covered what the hell is he even doing?

But he now comes to realize Sasuke's position in the second meeting of theirs.

His face is brushing the fabric slightly of Naruto's shirt. And his face itself is pale, but peeking out from the bandages is the slightest touch of blush. Or maybe it's because of his healing eyes. Naruto isn't sure. But he knows and feels now that Sasuke's arms are warm and frail pressed up against his chest. Almost like the raven is too scared to wrap them around the blond. And his legs lay curled up as well. As though they too are too scared to brush against Naruto's legs. _Why so scared now?_ The blond thinks stupidly. Acting as though he is faultless in this endless circle that he has created. 

But he's also drunk and stupid.

And his blue heart seems to surface after the sinking of his redone. 

So he places his arm to rest over Sasuke's shoulders.

He doesn't wrap.

He just places.

And finally doses off. 

Just as the hour comes to an end.

And for a second.

Sasuke doesn't want to even breathe.

He wants one more minute.

One more like this.

 **Please.** He mouths.

But he promised an hour.

And he knows better than to break a promise to the one person who never broke one for him.

So now that the hour is done.

He places a blanket over Naruto.

And stumbles back to his room.

Trying not to want that comforting arm wrapped around him once again, in his terrible nightmares. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully 3 chapters today????
> 
> I'm still mad about the cake so this can take my mind off it.


	21. Rush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thinking about this:
> 
> "I Don't Know. My Body Just Moved. There Was No Time To Think." -Sasuke after sacrificing himself to save Naruto
> 
> Sorry, the brain rot is real-

Naruto needs to start carrying around a self inserted calendar.

Because it's half-past eight and he's not sure if he'll be able to face Tsunade again if he doesn't make it by eight-thirty.

He's angry also about the fact that he barely got time to adjust to his hangover state of mind. So much so that he's made three shadow clones, each with their own purposes. Number one is to draw all the curtains closed, number two is to make breakfast, and number three is in charge of waking up and preparing Sasuke for his first outing in the leaf for what now... five years?

There was a debate between the clones over who was going to be selected for that one.

But they figured it out once they saw Naruto giving them the death glare as he hunted in his drawers for sunglasses. 

"Aw come on! What am I even supposed to do?" The third shadow clone questions his peers as he approaches Sasuke's bedroom door. 

"Wake him up! Let him know it's you! And then motion that you're taking him somewhere!"

"Easier said than done! What if he has a morning temper?"

"Stop making excuses!"

"You shut up!"

"All of you shut up and work!" Naruto yells as he spills a bottle of pain medication on his tabletop. "Fuck!"

"Damn what's his problem?" The second clone whispers as he cracks an egg into the pan filled with toast. The sizzle of it all making the house calm down slightly. 

Naruto knocks back his glass of water after he places three pills into his mouth before he struggles, quite a bit to shallow them all. And after a second or two, places a large and obnoxious pair of sunglasses on, to shield his eyes from the painful sun. He grabs breakfast out of the hands of his second clone so quickly that the second clone nearly disappeared. "Stop being so rude! It's not my fault!"

"I know. I know. Just keep it down?" Naruto groans as he falls into a kitchen chair and begins to chew his food with annoyance through a headache. 

He was stupid to drink.

And to think he was immune to the sorrow in the air.

He's not immune. 

He's just gotten used to it a little too much.

Jirayha.

Neji.

His parents that he never even knew.

Who else?

He knows all their names of course.

But it's too much to recall them all.

Too many names.

Too many lives.

Too many...

...learning experiences. 

"Here he is! All ready!" The third clone says as he breaks the silence of the morning.

Sasuke's wearing a black t-shirt, and a pair of old and washing stretched sweatpants.

Is that all it is for him to give?

Old clothes?

Wow.

"Give him this," Naruto commands to the third clone as he dumps his quarter-eaten breakfast into their hands. "I'll be out in five, make sure he's good to travel. And put a jacket on him, the townspeople still aren't too happy about having a 'War Criminal' in their village."

"I got it don't worry."

Naruto heaves a sigh and begins to walk to the bathroom, pulling the door tightly closed behind him.

_Where's the toothpaste...? ...You have to be..._

The third clone should have shut the curtains.

There was toothpaste all over the sink, toilet, and... the shower curtain?

Naruto swipes some from the sink.

And brushes his teeth three times.

With toothpaste from different locations for the factor of not wanting to waste so much.

He glances at the mirror. 

He really needs to cut his hair. It's too long at the top, and almost entirely too long at the bottom. It's not ugly per say, but it's not the suitable look he's going for. But he doesn't want it all gone. He'll go bald at forty anyways. No need to rush the process so much. He looks at his completion, he used to be much tanner when he spent hours upon hours training in the hot sun. Thankfully he still hasn't broken out, pure luck on that though. Normal teenager things... that he never got to experience. Because his life was so screwed up even before he was born.

_No... stop thinking about it... stop looking for something to blame... lots of people have fucked up lives... I haven't suffered that much compared to others. So stop thinking like I have. I never have. I was lonely and alone. That's not-_

"You said five! Come on!" 

"I'm coming!"

_I'm alright._

_Really._

Sasuke's ready, with a hood over his head, and his body confused and slightly trembling.

"Okay, you guys go," Naruto commands as his momentary separate guest spontaneously disappears into clouds of smoke. He now turns to Sasuke, who is trembling with confusion even more now.

Naruto's head pounds.

He touches his fingers to Sasuke.

Sasuke relaxes.

The blond sighs with relief and slowly takes Sasuke's arm, reaching under it until he feels a tight hold on Sasuke's underarms until he hoists the raven into his arms. He has already ruled out the possibility of Sasuke riding on his back. If there ever was an enemy attack, Kakashi always said to have your eyes free in the front and back. Or something like that. 

The blond now kicks open his window and leaps into the air.

Still wearing his ridiculous sunglasses.

Which Sasuke will thankfully never see. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daily advice from the author of this shit storm:
> 
> 1\. Make sure to research the disease your writing about before you kill off one of your characters with it
> 
> 2\. Make your fans cry
> 
> Last update for tonight!!!!


	22. Explanations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was out skiing today, and my goggles froze over completely, so I had to close my eye most of the time. And I was thinking of Sasuke and how he feels and acts because in this fic he is blind.
> 
> So I can hopefully write better for him now.
> 
> Idk about three updates today guys... I am really tired... 
> 
> But I'll try my best because I love you guys!!
> 
> And because I found a really good song to write too!!

Sasuke's sleep was never good in the first place.

Naruto remembers this as the raven sleeps gently in the hospital waiting room chair.

He remembers how Sasuke used to stir in his sleep when he and the old team used to camp out under the stars.

Some nights it was minimal.

Sometimes Kakashi would have to wake him up to take him for walks.

Naruto pretended not to notice back then.

Because of his childish dislike for Sasuke.

Actually...

He pretends not to notice it now.

But he's supposed to notice.

He's supposed to care.

He's not supposed to dislike Sasuke.

Otherwise, he'll be considered nothing but a wicked hypocrite.

Or a man who couldn't even complete the wish of his dead friend. 

"Naruto? Sasuke?"

Shizune breaks the blonds self deprecatingly true thoughts.

"Hey, Shizune, sorry we're so late," Naruto says calmly as he stands, pulling Sasuke's arm that is still clinging to his hand up enough so that the raven wakes from his nap and stands as well. 

"No problem Naruto! Lady Tsunade's just waiting in the room for you two!" Shizune explains fondly as she begins to walk forward. Her eye's quietly following Sasuke as he walks slowly behind Naruto. Clinging to him like a shadow. "Is that working okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"How Sasuke's holding onto you, is that working out alright?"

"Oh, um, yeah it's fine."

"Good..." Shizune says trailing off at the end, as she swings open the door to Tsunade's personal office. 

"Ah! You've finally come!" Tsunade greets as she sets down a yellow file organizer. She looks to be more groomed than yesterday, and her hair looks to be more precise in its ponytails and this frizzy. Her eyes also look to be more energetic. Maybe it's because she finally let her emotions surface after reading Sakura's will. Naruto wishes he could do the same. But as Tsunade walks past the blond to whisper some things into Shizune's ear, Naruto smells something familiar one her. She smells of cherry tree blossoms.

She's visited the tree that Sakura was buried at this morning. 

Has Naruto even done that?

"Naruto, I need you sit Sasuke down for me to explain why I called you here," Tsunade says quickly as Shizune begins to rummage around in a large box in the examination cubbord. 

"Okay, what should I say to-?"

"No, I don't want you to repeat what we say to Sasuke," Tsunade interjects quickly as Shizune hands her a pair of large black headphones, which she begins to check while talking even faster now to Naruto. "Naruto, I was examining Sasuke's charts yesterday after reading Sakura's will, and I noticed instantly on the first page, that there was no chart or confirmed results from a close hearing test."

"A...what?" Naruto asks, already lost.

"A close hearing test. It's a test where someone with limited hearing is subjected to a series of high-frequency beeps and instructions. The sounds being so high in pitch or vibration that it forces a small piece of cartilage on the eardrum to move again. And depending on how well the person responds, they can be fitted with hearing aids or other means to help them with hearing."

"So... Sasuke never got... this test?"

"No, he did not." Tsunade spells out as she passes the headphones back to Shizune. "I'm not sure why, he was well enough in the hospital to receive one. I'll talk to them about it. Because he should have received one as soon as his major bones were healed, and his infection had cleared."

_So then why didn't he-?_

"But, what's important now is getting Sasuke that test okay? So let's just put these on him-"

"Wait no! He'll get startled-!"

But Shizune has already made an attempt before Naruto's words can register with her.

Sasuke makes an attempt to kick whoever he thinks is attacking him in the ribs. But he misses by an inch and slips off his stool because his foot never hit the person like he intended to hit. And he falls to the ground with a loud crash and soundless cough. Tsunade jumps up and yells an 'Are you okay?' to Shizune, who nods still a little shaken. But Naruto can hardly hear, for he falls to the ground to pull Sasuke into a rib-cracking hug. The raven is panicking and trembling. He's startled, and Naruto is worried. What is Tsunade going to say now?

What if this is reported to Kakashi?

That Sasuke becomes violent at the slightest touch?

Then the elders will lock him up!

And Naruto's promise to Sakura will...

"You... you guys can't touch him... h-he only...

...only feels safe with me."

"Alright... we'll take it slow..." Tsunade reassures him as she bends down slowly to look into Sasuke's sweating and pale face. "We don't want him getting locked up again, that will only make it worse. But we have to be careful, the councils on Kakashi's ass about it."

"Wait... they are?"

"Of course!" Shizune says with fear in her voice. "There hasn't been a day since Sasuke's return to the streets that they... that... they..."

"What?!" Naruto demands, it's the first he's ever heard about the council's further demands! What are those old geezers up to? "That they what Shizune?"

"That they don't... suggest his public execution..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One update tonight guys!!! 
> 
> I'm sorry a million times!!! I'm really tired!!
> 
> But if I randomly update before twelve tonight, then my poor sleep probably got the best of me... 
> 
> Hopefully not tho!!! Everyone needs sleep!!!!


	23. Hear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one chapter tonight because I got home super late today!!
> 
> I'm off work tomorrow though and my friend isn't free until 6 because he's working so hopefully three updates!!!!

Naruto has known fear.

Just as he has known Sasuke.

Maybe not as well he once wished for.

But enough to know.

That this is real fear that he is showing. 

Fear of being quite literally in the dark.

But Naruto has already tried to explain to Sasuke with their horrible practically one-sided communication, that he is not far from the raven at all. He's just behind a small wall of thin glass. That encloses Sasuke in a sound booth, with Tsunade allowed in because she is the doctor. Naruto however is on the other side of the glass, and he is not alone, with a still timid Shizune. He himself is wearing the same pair of large black headphones as Sasuke, except the only difference is that it has a small connected microphone, which Shizune is about to explain. So Naruto snaps out of carefully observing Sasuke, whose hand is being held by Tsunade, as he turns to face the black-haired woman next to him. 

"Alright Naruto, the first thing I'm going to do after this is turn on your microphone," Shizune says as she points to a small controller board. "The first thing I want you to say, very carefully, is what your name is, if Sasuke shows a reaction, ask him if he can hear you. And if he doesn't show any response, or he looks like he's struggling to hear, I'll up the vibration and pitch. And I'll tell you right now, the reaction you want to see is Sasuke jump or freak out."

Naruto is unsure of what to think of it.

Actually, he's still stuck on the thought that Sasuke might be able to hear again.

What if he could?

No! He isn't supposed to get his hopes up!

You're never supposed to put yourself in a jinx!

Especially in something as important as this!

But the idea that Sasuke might be able to become and be a normal-ish person again was so hard not to imagine...

What if he could leave Naruto's apartment?

Communicate with the council who was out for his head?

But what if...

He still had to stay?

And what if he could hear...

About Sakura...

And all the other things Naruto murmured about.

What would he think then-?

"Okay, Naruto! 3... 2... 1!"

"U-Um, my name is Naruto, Naruto Uzumaki," He says, with as much confidence as Hinata in her younger days around Naruto. "It's me."

He doesn't know why he adds that in.

But...

Sasuke doesn't even flinch.

Tsunade starts to concentrate harder on Sasuke's hand that she's holding.

And after a quarter of a minute, she looks to Shizune through the glass and raises her free hand up. Indicating that she wants the volume raised. 

Shizune nods and quickly explains to Naruto that he shouldn't worry. "It's only the first try! And I only had the volume on 60!"

_That... seems like a... lot_

"Okay! All set! Naruto, start when you like!"

Naruto pauses and tries to stand up straight. 

"My name is... Naruto Uzumaki, I'm Naruto Uzumaki."

Why does he keep repeating it?

Still nothing.

And then nothing again.

And again.

This continues for what seems like minutes upon minutes, as Shizune due to medical procedure only raises the volume by 5 notches. While Naruto continues to pointlessly repeat his name, to himself a million times it seemed. It feels like a dumb mind test. But it is only dumb because Naruto knows that he is himself. He knows that he is Naruto Uzumaki. The annoying trouble is that Sasuke doesn't. And it's getting harder for the blond to keep saying the same thing over and over again. However, what also annoyed him is the fact that Tsunade and Shizune don't seem to mind at all. The wait. And the process seems like nothing but passing milo seconds to them.

How are they so calm and collected with Sasuke?

Naruto doesn't understand.

He hates that.

Not being able to understand best, especially when it's supposed to be his specialty.

To understand. 

"Okay... Naruto... the volume is at 95 now... and we aren't allowed to go higher... so let's cross our fingers!" Shizune says with a clap of her hands. But Naruto can tell that she is growing fearful of failure. 

And he almost delights in knowing that the others are beginning to fear not being able to understand.

"Okay speak! Say your name!"

_But I've already said my name enough._

No, he's said it over twenty times!

He's heard enough of himself!

He wants to hear someone else call his name out instead.

He wants to hear it from the person that never called out his name.

At least not when he was awake and listening...

"It's me, Sasuke," Naruto says, his voice coming out smoother than ever. Because for some reason, his throat has become relaxed at the idea of speaking into Sasuke's ears again. Not like he is a profit of understanding in truth. But just casually, like he is still human and full of his own needs. "Can you hear me?"

Sasuke falls to the floor from fright.

But maybe happiness too.

His mouth is opening and closing so rapidly, tracing out Naruto's name as a child in the sand. 

He's heard him.

_But is that really..._

_a real relief...?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts while writing this:
> 
> Me: ...this hot chocolate is hitting...
> 
> Itachi figure: Stop talking to yourself.


	24. Charts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My cat woke up this morning and chose violence-
> 
> Miss Ma'am literally sat on my face-
> 
> I saw stars I swear to god-

"Now ask him to raise his left arm."

"Sasuke, can you raise your left arm?"

He raises his left arm.

After two minutes, and a request for a repeat of the question. 

Naruto's throat is itching, but it feels rude to ask for water.

Especially when Shizune has been writing down everything and instructing him. 

She looks tired.

And so does Tsunade.

But their curiosity and need to know more blinds them. 

Naruto doesn't really wish he could say the same.

Because he is busy thinking about what they even will do to Sasuke if he passes this... test.

What's the point of it even? To figure out how bad Sasuke's hearing was? To test the scale of it? Then what? Is today's technology even good enough to treat it? But what if is by some miracle treated and cured, what then? Will Sasuke be considered fine with just that? Will he have to sign language? Will he be able to be called a ninja again? Will he be pitied? Or hated by re-gaining his hearing?

Naruto knows that the villagers don't favor Sasuke.

Everyone knows it.

Even Naruto's friends don't favor or like Sasuke at all.

Very few do.

Maybe Ino.

No, maybe not even her.

Naruto's unsure about how the two other women in the room see Sasuke.

Does Tsunade hate Sasuke?

For never caring for her student?

Does Shizune?

What about Kakashi?

_What about me...?_

_Do I..._

"Okay, that's it!"

"Huh?" Naruto asks as he lifts up his headphone. Is that it? Do they have all they need?

"Yep! All done!" Shizune says with a smile as he helps Naruto remove the headphones from the blond's head. "And I think Tsunade will be giving good news once she looks over these charts!"

"Wait something good...?"

"Yes! I'm not as trained as her of course, but things look great! And I think we might have luck in helping Sasuke!"

"You can help him?"

"I think we can!" Tsunade says as she enters the other side of the booth, taking the charts from Shizune's hands with a grin. "Naruto, go see to Sasuke, I'm going to look this over fast so we can discuss it with you two quickly."

_They... can help him?_

Can they really?

"Naruto go the doctors are speaking!" Tsunade shoos as she pushes Naruto into the other room, slamming the door behind herself so hard that the whole room shakes. Which makes Sasuke jump and tremble, which his headphones still on. Naruto sighs absentmindedly at this as he pulls them off Sasuke's head, quickly pressing his fingers against Sasuke's hand because the raven is still scared. 

And when the raven feels Naruto do this, he pulls him down into the seat next to him and hugs him tight.

And his pulse slows instantly.

_They can help him..._

_They can help him, with his hearing._

_And I..._

_Can't even help him with his basic needs..._

And he feels a new feeling of annoyance at that.

Annoyance at his self-induced uselessness.

But Sasuke doesn't notice as he continues to breathe in his scent. 

Comforted for the first time in three hours. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two more updates!!!!
> 
> It's been snowing all day, so I'm gonna work out real quick and then shower!!! So update in maybe two hours???


	25. Hearing Aids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe that I forgot to say this but-
> 
> Thank you so much for over 2,000 reads!!!! You guys are absolutely incredible and I love you all so much!!!!

"Naruto, Sasuke, can you hear me?" Tsunade says, very slowly. Naruto's hand instantly flies up to the wire that hangs from the left headphone, because the volume is still ear-shakingly loud. And it makes his head hurt. How could it possibly be this bad for him? It's unbearable for even a second to hear things this loud for the blond. So this only makes him more and more painfully aware of how lucky he is to be able to hear. "Oh, I'm so sorry Naruto! Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah I'm okay!" Naruto calls back to Tsunade, who looks momentarily worried. 

But now she looks happy again.

So the news is good.

Is Naruto supposed to be happy?

He is.

Right...?

What about Sasuke?

 _He looks confused still..._ Naruto thinks bitterly as his eyes turn to look over at Sasuke, who has his head down. But his cheeks are slightly pink, and his hands are under his legs. _No, he's just embarrassed._ Naruto confirms as he tries to shake off what Sasuke has just done. He had hugged him for no more than a minute because after that minute expired, he seemed to realize that he had broken his own set rule.

And he had quickly sat down.

And now as Naruto looks him down, from his eye bandages to his crossed feet.

He doesn't have anything left to say.

Because yeah, he didn't like the idea of Sasuke touching him.

But... if he really was that scared...

"Alright, you two pay attention, because I and Shizune have made a breakthrough by reading your chart Sasuke! And I think your gonna like it!" Tsunade says with a hint of pride in her voice.

Sasuke shifts a bit but doesn't perk up his head.

"Sasuke, after observing your charts, we were able to confirm that your hearing loss is not profound, but on a severe level. That might sound still bad, however during this test we also were able to confirm that your hearing loss in the form of decibels is around 68 to 71. And before, the doctors at the hospital calculated over 81 decibels of loss. So with this, we can now understand and help you much better than just labeling you a hopeless case."

Sasuke still doesn't show any tear-jerking reaction, he only nods and continues to listen.

"And because of this, we have been able to now diagram and find a cure or solution to your problem, and it's simple, but there are steps to it. So I need both of you to pay attention," Tsunade says as she brushes a piece of her hair behind her ear.

Naruto nods and tries to look at her instead of Sasuke.

"The simple way to solve this problem is actually something as simple as hearing aids. However, if we are to use hearing aids for you, Sasuke. You have to realize that these are not difficult for money's sake, but in this ake of how you care for them. Currently, our technology is good enough to give you small hearing devices that will allow you to hear. But since we do not live in a world yet with gear to help our shinobi fly, they are not perfect. And for now, will never replace the biological greatness of your original eardrums."

Sasuke nods very hard as he hears this.

"But that doesn't mean the end of the road, because these hearing aids are in no way junk. They will allow you to hear about ten meters out from yourself. Now in a busy room, the words that people say can and will become jumbled, but if you can learn to focus this can be overcome in some ways," Tsunade explains, Shizune throwing in a nod ever so often. "They will not be waterproof, and I don't want you to wear them 24/7. I want them off when you sleep. And this is important, they are not in any way waterproof. No swimming or showering with them. Understand?"

Sasuke nods, slowly due to him taking in all the information. 

"And these things can't just be pulled out of a drawer. They need to have a request sent in to be made for you, so when I'm done explaining this, Shizune is going to take a mold of your ear canals, and yes Naruto can come with you."

_Wait why do I have to?_

"We'll send in your molds as soon as next morning. But while you're still here, I'm pleased to say that your false left eye arrived today! So I'll be showing you how to put that in as well! Do you understand, Sasuke?" Tsunade asks, leaning forward slightly. 

Sasuke doesn't move.

And then he nods again.

And gives a shaky thumbs-up.

So after a few minutes of packing up from the booth.

Shizune leads them all back to Tsunade's office.

Where she sits Sasuke down, only to tilt his head to the side and pipe a thick white grey liquid into his ears. Which hardens into a flexible rubber after thirty seconds. And as she tilts Sasuke's head to the other side, his grip on Naruto's fingers goes hard again, because he seems to very much dislike the feeling of having his whole ear cavity molded like some rare species of animal.

So Naruto presses his fingers into Sasuke's palm.

Not wanting him to feel like an animal.

Not that being the last Uchiha alive isn't like being one in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was stupid and decided to update chrome while I was writing and I had to restart because I lost all my work
> 
> (0,~0,)
> 
> One more chapter after this!!!


	26. Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last update for tonight!!!

Naruto knows it's wrong to smoke near the hospitals.

But he also knows that it's wrong to be so reserved and cold-hearted towards Sasuke. 

Only giving him nothing but millimeters when he needs kilometers. 

So he's gonna stay outside a little while longer.

Puffing away at his cigarette back not caring about the stink of dryness of his throat. But the air is wet but dry, and also cold tonight. So it's not too bad against his dry throat as he inhales and exhales before he puffs down again. He feels poetic in a way as he smokes. And Naruto almost feels like a conflicted main character in a spy shinobi book. They always do that. Always when the main spy ninja is down, does me retreat away from his problems and smoke alone on a roof looking out at the stars like they have the answers.

And then a pretty girl comes out with advice and a kiss.

Naruto knows some pretty girls.

But they would only give advice. 

Because they are wise, and no longer seek the attention of men.

What is he even thinking about anymore?

Why is he putting himself in those kinds of shoes?

He needs to stay in his own.

In his shoes he should be in the hospital, learning how to clean and help manage Sasuke's new false eye. He should be comforting and explaining these things to Sasuke. And not giving Tsunade the trouble of needing to use the special booth to communicate with Sasuke. 

But he doesn't want to.

His feelings are like a house of cards in a place with a high rate of earthquacks.

They seem to change every second.

One house stands on a ground that hates Sasuke.

Resents him.

A house that wants to break every bone in his body for becoming nothing but a burden to him.

A burden that he must care for because his best friend was stupid enough to think that it would be easy.

But another house still knows Sasuke as what he promised himself he was.

A confused and scared boy.

With dull and sad eyes.

That just needs a bit of love to be fixed.

Red and blue.

But Naruto knows he needs to pick a side and stick with it.

But when an earthquake makes him shift every time he thinks he gets a chance to.

It becomes harder and harder by the second.

He wants to be good.

Good like he, the future Hokage is supposed to be.

But is the future protector supposed to be good in every mood as well?

Good to every problem and person he faces?

He hears the door close as he chucks his cigarette off the roof, watching it fall with the little life left in it. Until it falls to the ground and extinguishes.

Sasuke walks up next to him.

Naruto's eyes turn to look at him.

Just 5 centimeters shorter than him. 

It's not much.

But he still looks so small. Especially now with no bandages on his face.

Naruto presses his fingers against Sasuke's hand before he takes his free hand to Sasuke's face.

And as he lifts his face up, to see into it for the first time in seemingly forever. He feels himself go red as he meets Sasuke's unseeing eyes. One is shiny and made of the purest glass. Colored perfectly to Sasuke's original pupils. Shimmering slightly in the starlight so much that Naruto can see his own electric blue eyes in it. And the other eye is still dark grey, with not a once of happiness or life in it. The only difference is that it is dotted with pure grey-white spots. These dots being one of the three things that stop Sasuke from living a normal physical life once again.

But despite all this.

Naruto can't deny Sasuke's beauty.

His skin is still smooth and pale. Dotted pink around the tips of his cheeks because of Naruto's two fingertips under his chin. He looks like the perfect beautiful doll. It's creepy. To see such a beautiful and sad face. But Sasuke's blushing, so that shows that he isn't made of porcelain and plastic. Glass, or crystal. He is as alive as Naruto. And he feels like Naruto.

He feels pain.

He's just built a higher tolerance to it.

So has Naruto.

They are almost the same.

Naruto is supposed to be the sun.

While Sasuke is the moon.

But Naruto feels like twilight right now.

The merch between light and dark.

Hate and affection.

He can't choose whether to hate this boy before him.

Or accept him.

Because if he chooses one.

What happens next?

What is happening now?

Sasuke's getting better right...?

What if the chance to answer the question passes before Naruto answers?

He's scared of that.

But he needs to find his explanation for his answer. 

So he picks up his so-called baggage in his arms.

And jumps off the railing of the hospital.

Hoping over rooftops, and the chimnies of families that are still awake so late at night.

And he soars past the moon as he holds Sasuke tight. Feeling nothing but the wind against his tan face, and the power of it against his scalp. Soaring down past the blue diamond moon makes him feel powerful as he holds a blue-black raven in his hands. A raven that holds his arms around his neck even harder than he holds him. His grasp has affection in it. 

Naruto's doesn't.

But as he sees the moon reflect into Sasuke's eyes. 

Breaking his own eyes as it does.

He gives Sasuke a _real_ hold of affection.

For his baggage has beauty.

And he's not sure if beauty will sway his red-hateful side.

But it's a start.

A start that takes place in the gaze of the moon.

Which is rather beautiful.

Rather beautiful indeed...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a chapter that I wanted to show movement with
> 
> Or wait no beauty with it.
> 
> I was listening to Kokoronashi as I was writing, and honestly, it just gets me super inspired!!!
> 
> I'm getting ramen tomorrow with my friend so no updates because it's break day!!
> 
> Also, I just wanted to talk about this!!!
> 
> I've received a couple of hate comments on this fic, first of all, thank you to all of you who replied to these people. It's not necessary but the fact that you guys are brave enough to do it is really nice and I appreciate everyone that does. And I blow kisses to you all!!!
> 
> And guys, if you don't like a fic, stop reading it. And if you want to offer criticism, please actually express where the person could improve instead of just saying "This is shit I hate it"
> 
> Because then your not helping and honestly your just making yourself look stupid.
> 
> If you don't like my work that's fine. I'm 14 years old and I've never gotten above a B+ in English. But I'm trying my best to provide for people who like my work. I don't plan to do this for a living, I don't cry over getting told that you don't like my work. Honestly, I'll probably start laughing. 
> 
> But just think before you type. 
> 
> I sound really old right now but it's just common courtesy.
> 
> But thank you for reading!!
> 
> No update tomorrow!!
> 
> See you guys on Monday!!!


	27. Interference

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally back in school!!! I kinda missed it ngl
> 
> But here's chapter 27!!! And I'm gonna start dividing the story into arcs or challenges, because then it's much easier for me to organize the parts and fit everything together. 
> 
> Enjoy!!!!

Naruto hates interfering factors. 

The factors of course being typical and normal and also needed parts of his life. 

But he still hates them nevertheless. 

Today for him has bad five interfering factors.

The first one is not having eggs. 

The second one being that the heater is breaking.

The third being that he needs to pay his bills.

The fourth is that he didn't get enough sleep last night.

And the fifth is that Kakashi has called him to his office because the village hidden in the sand has been raided and stolen from.

"I don't understand why the leaf village needs to interfere," Naruto groans as he pushes himself off the wall and walks to the water fountain, where Sai hands him a cup of water lazily. "They have some of the best shinobi in the world over there, Temari, Kankuro, Garra... why does our system have to work for theirs? And what did they even steal that's so important?"

"Anbu records."

Naruto choaks on his water.

"Garra had requested the records for some of our villages Anbu, mainly if there was ever a need for undercover missions that his own village could not complete. But halfway through our shinobis travel to the Hidden Sand, they were ambushed and tied up. Thankfully we caught them just before they passed of dehydration. But the files are still missing. And the sand village confirmed that the said ambushers did not enter their village. They are believed to have gone west, perhaps to hide out in the remains of the village hidden in the rain." 

"The Village Hidden in The Rain?" Shikamaru questions curiously. "But no one lives there and everyone knows that, seems like they're asking for it."

"I believe they are," Kakashi says calmly as he rises from his desk. "But I also want this cleaned up as soon as possible. Is that understood, Naruto, Shikamaru, Sai, Kiba, Hinata?"

"Yes, Lord Sixth." They all respond instantly, giving bows. 

"Depart for the village hidden in the rain tomorrow morning at sunrise. And send frequent updates. And only retreat if you truly believe that it is hopeless. And think with your brains, not your hearts," Kakashi says firmly, glancing at Naruto as he does. This makes Naruto turn his head down. "Be safe. Dismissed."

Naruto stands and swiftly leaves.

"Can't believe we gotta go to the village hidden in the rain. The travel will be difficult. Especially across a thick fucking forest and then a wetland," Shikamaru grains. "This is really such a damn drag, why can't we just train better shinobis in the first place?"

"I agree," Sai comments as he stretches his arms behind his head. "If they had sent out high-ranked shinobis to deliver this information then maybe I wouldn't have to leave for a week."

"How long?" Kiba questions sarcastically.

"A week is not that long," Hinata snaps, which makes all the boys flinch. "Shouldn't you all be showing remorse for the men who were injured in the first mission? Instead of judging them by their rank? Not everyone is born into high clans like us. I'm sure they were excellent for what they did."

"We weren't." Naruto snaps back, looking into her lavender eyes for the first time in months. "We were criticizing the system, not the ninja."

"You were doing both," She retorts.

"What's with the attitude?"

"No attitude, I just have something to say."

"Well so do I-!"

"Enough!" Shikamaru yells as he steps in between the two. They turn away glaring. "I am the captain of this mission. Don't make me remove one of you. Naruto, if you have nothing to say don't fucking say it. Hinata, take a fucking chill pill. Alright? Now both of you go home and get some sleep!"

Naruto scoffs.

"She started it..." He mumbles as he walks home, Sai by his side to make sure he doesn't lose his temper.

"And you continued it," Sai says with a smile. "Why?"

"...I don't know I just didn't like what she was saying..."

"Hmm," Sai hums. "Well get home safe Naruto. And make sure to sleep for the mission."

And he leaps into the air so fast that he seems to vanish into it.

 _Fuck right._ _What the fuck am I supposed to do with Sasuke?_

What is he supposed to do with Sasuke?

Leave a clone?

A clone that could disappear at the touch far too hard.

Yes?

No bad idea.

Well, maybe one or two behind wouldn't hurt. 

But he won't know anything until they disappear into his memory banks.

But that's too much worry for Naruto to take, so his mind drifts to asking someone to take care of Sasuke. What about Tsunade? But he cannot ask the former Hokage to take care of him. Shizune maybe? No, she is just as busy as Tsunade and as important as her. He doesn't even consider asking Kakashi. That's far too much of an overstep in his mind. But what about TenTen? Or Lee? Or anyone else Naruto called a friend?

But what about communicating?

And how long will Naruto even be gone?

It was two days travel to the village hidden in the rain, and then how long would take to find the documents? The criminals? And then the journey back... with injuries likely would probably be three or four days. Had he ever held a shadow clone that long? And if he had, would it even be in full shape? Oh shit... this was complicating everything.

He couldn't leave Sasuke alone!

But he couldn't refuse a mission!

"Fuck!" He yells out with anger as he slams his foot into a nearby trash can. It was so annoying to him! Fuck why now? He is trying to be better now with Sasuke, and now he has to leave him alone for a week tops? How ironic. How ironic indeed.

He doesn't have any idea of what to do.

And it's not like he can ask Sasuke what he wants to do.

It's a problem that he has no near answer to.

He kicks the trash can again.

"Fuck..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter today!!! I need to update my computer today and I'm not exactly sure how long that will take, but if it doesn't take too long then two more chapters!!!!
> 
> You guys are making me laugh so much in the comments, I can't believe you guys are so surprised that I'm young!!
> 
> Anyways I hoped you enjoyed it!!!


	28. Selfish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter for today!!!!

It feels different...

Tonight that is.

Maybe it's because Naruto's trying to be still in the head.

Or maybe it's because it's so cold, due to the broken heater. 

But it's different.

More close feeling.

And Naruto feels oddly at peace.

With Sasuke laying on his chest, his legs resting in between Naruto's. His breathing soft and relaxed against his shirt. Naruto thinks his own breathing is stilled, but he can't really tell because he feels like his whole body is in a sort of locked state of calmness. Not that he dislikes it. But he feels odd about it. But he doesn't move as he closes his eyes and mentally shakes his head.

He wants to take it in more. 

This feeling of equality he feels. 

From the tips of his toes to the tufts of his hair he feels merged and content. 

With Sasuke?

No...?

More with the idea of peace.

He had always heard that some ninjas were cold-taught in the ways of mediation. And normally he would wrinkle his nose at the idea of doing nothing but breathing and sitting for an hour or more. But when he lies with Sasuke, he doesn't feel like this state of stillness will give him any benefit. He just feels nothing doing it. And maybe that's the big idea for those ninjas. To learn to reach a state while meditating will allow them to be at peace in the harshest battles. But Naruto knows as he feels his own heart begin to count the beats of Sasukes. That if anything, he will never be able to remain emotionally stable throughout a fight.

Well... not before now at least.

Because back then he had no idea how small his pain was compared to others in battle.

So nowadays he will try and shut off his feelings during a battle

He plans to do it tomorrow as well.

And only until he is alone properly again will he let out whatever he is going to feel during the mission. 

Sasuke snuggles closer to the crook of his neck.

Naruto is still numb to thinking on the outside as he does.

His heart is still counting Sasuke's own.

And his head is in the clouds, rumbling these odd and random thoughts he's had since childhood, and probably will have until his demise.

Whenever that will be.

Probably sooner than maybe Hinata or Sai.

Hell, he's probably gonna lose to Tsunade.

Why?

_Gut feeling..._

_"Thinking with your gut ain't smart kid, that's why you got a brain,"_ Kurama comments lazily inside Naruto's head. The blond closes his eyes at that. _"I'm ready when you are."_

He needs to thank his friend in advance. 

But he's tired.

And he knows that Kurama will just get angry, out of being flustered of course.

The nine-tailed fox is humble.

And filled with hidden pride.

But he can always lend a hand to Naruto.

Like he is about to when this hour ends.

When is it going to end again?

Sasuke answers him.

By standing, and trying to walk swiftly away.

But Naruto catches his hand and sits him back down.

Sasuke is startled by the quick action, but before he gets the chance to say anything. Naruto quickly begins to trace out the outlines for the characters that form the words, **'Sharingan, can you activate it please?'**. Which makes Sasuke flinch and begin to tremble. He quickly begins to shake his head rapidly, crossing his arms to form an 'X'. Which makes Naruto click his tongue. The feeling of peace and trying to keep cool is starting to slip. So he pulls Sasuke's hand into his and draws out, **'Why?'**. And as Sasuke gulps and begins to take Naruto's hand into his own, Naruto breathes fresh air. Trying not to get angry.

**'Tsunade forbids it. I can't even see out of my normal vision. And if I activate my Sharingan, I could damage it even more so if there was an absolute emergency, I might ruin it to the point. Where I can't even see light blurs. She already told you that. So why are you asking me to do something so risky?'**

This takes him fifteen minutes to write.

_I'm tired._

**'When I tap your head, I want you to activate it. For five seconds. That's it. Then you can use all the eye drops you need. And I won't ask you to do this ever again. I promise.'**

**'You're not answering my question! Why do I need to?'**

**'Because this is taking too long! And I need to go to sleep!'**

Naruto yells what he says that time, but Sasuke only feels his words on his palm, not in his ears.

Sasuke looks scared.

But Naruto pretends not to notice as he yanks his shirt over his head. Revealing the curse seal of which he was given at birth. He doesn't even have time to feel embarrassment, because he presses Sasuke's fingertips to the seal so fast that he doesn't even notice the ravens-mouthed squeak as he taps his head. And for a moment, Sasuke struggles to take in air. But as he does inhale, he forces his right eye open to its widest. Revealing his bloodlines pride and joy. The Sharingan. Which is still as blood-red as Naruto remembers it. But now Sasuke's is stained with the same blind spots all over it. And the white tissue of his eye instantly begins to breakout with lines of blood, which pop after three whole seconds and begin to spill over Sasuke's face. And for a moment Naruto feels his blue heart lurch in agony as he watches the blood from Sasuke's right eye mix with his tears as the five seconds come to an end. And the raven drops down onto Naruto's bare chest. Sobbing and clutching his eye with both his hands. 

His red-colored heart beams at this.

But his blue heart seems to punch it down as Naruto pulls Sasuke close to his neck and begins to rub his heaving back.

The blond can feel the pain in his hyper breaths. 

He's so selfish.

 _"Naruto..."_ Kurama whispers gently as he almost retreats backward away from the scene the blond has created. _"Don't ever make him do something like that again. Never again."_

"Shhhhh..." Naruto coos in a way that seems so wrong he feels like throwing up. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Sasuke coughs and gasps. 

His tears are uncontrollably mixed with his own blood. 

But Naruto knows that he's not just crying from the pain.

He is crying because Kurama was able to get through to him when he momentarily saw Naruto's seal.

He now knows that he will be deprived of Naruto for a week.

Deprived of his only friend.

And the only way of whatever normal life he has left.

This hurts to see and hear.

_Stop playing the victim._

_This is your fault._

_Because._

_You can't even spare ten fucking more minutes from your precious life._

_You selfish piece of trash._

He doesn't try and prove his inner thoughts wrong. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very messy, so I'll just clarify this real quick!!!!
> 
> Sasuke cannot see anything out of his normal right eye. However with his Sharingan, he can actually manage to see small speck of light, but since the Sharingan takes so much energy to activate and use, Sasuke has been told not to use it unless he is in a situation where he absolutely has to. Like he says. Because overuse of his Sharingan has already caused him blindness in his normal eye, and he needs to be incredible careful with the tiny amount of vision he has left.
> 
> That's gonna be a big plot point later so try and remember.
> 
> And if you guys are confused about how Sasuke was able to see Kurama just refer to the first episode of Shippuden when Sasuke uses his eyes to see Kurama!!!
> 
> Anyways I'm sorry that this chapter is so bad, after I pushed out the first chapter today my day got really shitty. And it really affected my writing so I'm sorry (0, - 0,)
> 
> Sleep well!!
> 
> Sorry again!!!


	29. See You Soon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooooo!!!
> 
> First update today!!!

Naruto's hands feel like they've been washed to the point where healthy skin no longer remains.

But he doesn't even feel the sting of his scrubbed hands as he looks down once again at Sasuke.

He has multiple blankets covering his body and half his head.

He's still shaking and stricken from activating his Sharingan. And Naruto knows that he is still feeling the after-effects of activating it for the first time in so long with so much force. But the bleeding has finally stopped, so Naruto reaches beside himself and dunks his one good washcloth in a small bowl of steaming water that his clones prepared. He makes sure to wring it out enough for it to remain warm, but not enough for it to soak Sasuke's face and eye.

Naruto has already removed Sasuke's false eye. 

So as Sasuke continues to tremble, Naruto continues to allow his fingers to be squeezed by the raven as he starts to gently position the wet cloth on Sasuke's face.

And after he rests the cloth nicely, he makes an effort to try and sweep all the bloodied tissues into a corner for him to pick up later.

He's already sent his clones out to the late-night open food shops. 

He requested fruits and vegetables and foods that could be easily prepared. 

And he also sent out one of his clones to Kakashi.

He couldn't even dream of leaving him alone anymore.

Not after what he made him do.

Naruto touches his spare hand to Sasuke's face cloth.

And quickly removes it upon realizing that it has already gone cold.

But once he places it back on Sasuke's face, he feels the raven release his hand and grab his other one.

**'How long, do you really think you'll be gone?'**

Naruto swallows and re-does the calculations in his head, adding in far more variables than he needs to due to the fear of giving Sasuke the wrong answer.

**'Week and two days probably, we don't have any information.'**

Sasuke nods and buries his nose under his covers again. 

But when Naruto sighs and reaches to warm the cloth again. Sasuke takes hold of his free hand and lifts the covers from his body well enough to show that he wishes for the blond to lay in bed with him for a minute or two for their last night together. And Naruto doesn't hesitate for more than five seconds before he crawls under the covers and pulls Sasuke close to him.

Instantly the raven's shaking begins to slow as he places his hands on Naruto's chest and crosses his own legs with Naruto's. And Naruto doesn't care at all due to the guilt that has consumed him like a plague. 

His heart is so angry and his head is so full. His conscience was right, he was a selfish piece of trash who couldn't even spare a minute for Sasuke. And as he confirmed it again, he felt the second sting of his self burn come. Which caused him to squeeze Sasuke tighter to his chest as a feeling of fear and anxiety began to spread over him.

Will he really be okay?

Will Kakashi be able to spare him time?

Will he be able to eat well enough?

Bathe?

Take his medications?

How will it work?

Will it work at all?

He doesn't have the answers and he wants to for the first time.

Sasuke feels so little in his arms now.

Which makes his brow twitch with anger and worry.

 _No!_ He thinks. _Kakashi-Sensei cares about Sasuke just as much as I do. And as much as Sakura did!_

But he still feels unbearably worried about leaving his trust in the Hokage's care, because previous Hokage's have broken his trust so many times. Tsunade never did it on purpose of course. And Kakashi has only just been elected. But the third Hokage... and all those promises he broke. Maybe that's another one of the long lists of reasons that Naruto wants to become said Hokage. He wants to be trusted.

But then again.

He has just broken Sasuke's trust in him. 

And he's not even sure if he deserves it back. 

But has he really?

Because normally, a person who had just had their trust broken by another, wouldn't normally cuddle up against them for comfort.

So why is he still...

**'Why are you cuddling?'**

He writes. 

Sasuke shakes his head and just pulls him closer in response.

So Naruto pats his head, and rubs his scalp, and lets his breathing slow, to show Sasuke that he is not angry at him.

Naruto knows that he's just trying to savor these minutes before he falls into sleep, and wakes up alone in the house. 

Now in a slightly older state of mind, Naruto would bring up how since the age of nine, Sasuke had slept alone in his own apartment. He was alone for his whole life before this whole mess. He was alone before team seven before he left for Orochimaru. After he left for Orochimaru. And even after he and Naruto had met again. He still remained alone. And a stupid one would be unable to see why Sasuke is so afraid to fall asleep and live alone now.

It's not because he's disabled and drowning in the feeling of uselessness. 

It's because there is something else in the apartment that stops him from being all alone.

Someone who gives the space life.

Someone who is worth waiting for all day to come home.

Sasuke is happy to have someone now, so that's why he is so scared to know that they are leaving somewhere dangerous. 

That's why he's shaking.

And that's why he holds to Naruto so tight.

Until his grip finally goes dull and limp. 

Naruto sighs again as he lays Sasuke back down on his futon. Covering him with all the blankets and creating a clone to put away the food that his other ones bought. He then creates a second for the water bowl and the tissues. And soon there are ten clones running around and cleaning up for him. But when he hears the familiar clink of a water glass resting in front of Sasuke's door, he forms a hand sign and his clones go out with a poof. 

And it's at that when he stands from Sasuke's side and pries his fingers away from him.

With a lot more effort than he thought he would need.

And after he does pull him away, and tuck the raven's arm under the blanket.

He hears Sasuke whimper.

He's still asleep but...

He still is crying out.

Naruto feels his stomach clench painfully around his dinner as he turns and walks to the door.

He peaks in one last time before he tries to close the door, but catches sight of the thin fresh lines of tears falling down Sasuke's face.

_Go back..._

"See you soon... Sasuke..." Naruto's red heart says before it feels the tight grasp of his blue take over. 

It tries to pull him back to Sasuke's side.

But he doesn't want to. 

But he does.

_Which one is it...?_

He'll figure it out tomorrow...

Or will he...?

_I'll figure it out!_

_I'll..._

_I'll figure it out..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most likely only two updates today??!?!!
> 
> I don't know anymore (\3-3\\)
> 
> I have to write an essay for English this week too.... 
> 
> *cries
> 
> Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
> 
> See you in a couple of hours?????


	30. Punch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last update for tonight!!!

The air is always cold in the fall mornings. 

Or rainy.

But today it's misty, and warm, but cold at the same time. 

Naruto knows he's hungry, and he should probably stop walking to the gate for half a minute for some instant breakfast.

But he pushes it down.

He won't eat without doing anything to deserve it.

He sees the gate through the clouds of mist. '

And he feels her presence behind him.

"I know you're there..."

"I made myself noticeable."

"Good for you."

"I came to apologize."

_I didn't fucking ask._

"I'm sorry too."

"I haven't said anything."

"Then say something, we're leaving as soon as Shikamaru and the others arrive."

Hinata's anger can be felt in the air.

"You know what... I think I take it back. I'm not sorry in the slightest."

"Good for fucking you."

"..."

Her face is scrunched.

Naruto clicks his tongue in annoyance upon seeing it. What more business does he have with her anyways? Why is she causing him all this trouble so early in the fucking morning? He's tired and hungry. And about to spend a week away from his apartment, and new life responsibilities. So why can the great new personalized Hinata just leave him alone? He wants her to go away.

He knows what she thinks of him.

And what she thinks of Sasuke.

"Stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?" She spits, stepping forward enough to make herself look bigger than she really is.

"Like I'm a shit stain on a toilet seat."

"You are for taking him in."

"I am not. He's my friend. And she was too."

"He never gave two damns about her, only about you. You and his precious little rivalry. He didn't even glance her way after she was stabbed. And he pulled you away from trying to tend to her just so you two could have one more little fight. He's a monster. And he got what he deserved-!"

He slams his fist into her face.

And her jaw snaps to the side with a nasty crack.

He can feel his eyes turning red with his and Kurama's anger spilling out.

"Say it again. Say it again Hyūga; I _dare_ you _."_

"I'll take that dare," She whispers as she spits blood from her mouth and clenches her face hard, to activate her own clan's bloodline obsession.

Naruto feels his body burn with fury, his whole soul itching and begging to enter into Sage Mode. Itching to beat this unknowing and ignorant girl to the ground. She knows nothing of what happened that day. And he wants to clarify that with another power-infused punch to her pretty little face. That he once fell for. Before that pretty little face mask fell away.

"Enough!" Shikamaru screams out. "Drop the jutsu's or I'm removing the two of you from my team!"

Naruto spits on the dirt near Hinata's feet.

She scuffs over it with dirt she kicks with her sandal.

"Ignorant bitch."

"Naruto!" Kiba roars. "You can't call girls that! And you can't fuckin' hit them either!"

Naruto's eyes lock hard with hers as she glares at him, ignoring the talk that Shikamaru is trying to give her.

"It doesn't matter if she's a girl, boy, or a fucking it. 

She deserved a good punch to the face. 

And I hope I'm not the only one who realizes that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished re-reading Goodnight PunPun tonight and as I analyzed the characters in the manga
> 
> I realized that I needed to build up more of my characters
> 
> Dynamic, round, and flat characters are always present in my stories. 
> 
> But sometimes I let my ideas slip away, and they just end up being as flat as they were in the first place.
> 
> So these chapters are gonna be longer.
> 
> Not by a lot.
> 
> But by enough so that people can see what these people are thinking.
> 
> So people can relate to these characters, and see why they do the things they do.
> 
> Night guys!!!!


	31. Distraught

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first update for today!!!!

As they jump higher into the air, Naruto feels more and more hungry.

There's no food bouncing around in his stomach, just water and poorly contained anger. 

He throws his hands forward to push off a tree branch that gives him enough spring to shoot him forward twenty feet. 

It feels good.

To shoot through the morning air.

And feel momentarily free from the world. 

But it does hurt his feet when he comes back down.

But he doesn't have to worry about falling because even if did fall, he would hit another branch long before he would ever hit the ground anyways. 

It's like a trance in these shaded woods.

The air smells clean but also full of life. And birds and insects crawl around noisily, but they aren't at all annoying to Naruto's ears. And he was never really bothered by the chatter of life. The chatter that really means nothing, but it still matters to Naruto n away. He strangely loves to hear the voices and conversations of people. Back in his academy days, that was his comfort, listening and hearing all those words. Hearing about what his peers had eaten for dinner was always interesting. No one ever cooked for him so he thought it good enough to get the basic rundown of it. 

It sounded nice.

It still sounds nice.

Naruto still doesn't mind the idea of eating with his family.

And talking about his day with them.

Even if it seems to be boring and repetitive.

He likes to dream about these things as he leaps through the air.

Because flying is also a dream of his.

Not with a jutsu.

Or a curse.

He wants to grow a pair of wings and fly.

He's already abnormal to the rest of the world.

So why can't he have wings?

He scowls as he thinks of that. 

But his glare breaks upon seeing a small brown sparrow shoot past him, bouncing with the air under its wings. Flying away to where ever it has the strength to go and do next. 

He wants to be that sparrow.

But he also smacks himself down at the thought of it.

Because he wasn't a bird with a life span of three years, he was a human.

Who has a life to live and be present in.

He swore long ago to become Hokage, and he reminds himself that never once has he ever dreamed about going back on those words. But now that the world has become so hard to manage in his own fast drinking shoes. Maybe it will be much harder than he has ever known it to be. 

Because while he is loved now throughout the village.

His other responsibilities are tainting his name.

But he doesn't care.

That's why he hit Hinata.

Because he will not accept the fact that the village was so quick to turn to him after one save, but when another comes along...

...nothing changes.

Sasuke doesn't deserve to be looked down upon.

Sure he has done some bad things.

But so have to people of the leaf.

If Naruto wasn't so kind in the heart, would he have ever wanted to forgive these people?

People who looked at him like a monster.

He and Sasuke were monsters.

Only until they risked their lives were they anything greater than that.

Naruto hates that idea.

What had those people ever done for him?

Or Sasuke?

What right did they have?

What right did Hinata have?

To assume that Sasuke never cared? 

To assume that Naruto never cared?

They knew nothing at all.

Nothing at all.

He rockets forward on a particularly springy branch. 

Feeling hate and remorse for the village and Sasuke fills his head.

And it feels...

**_"He never gave two damns about her."_ **

But is that true as well?

No.

Of course, Sasuke cared somewhat about Sakura...

He had asked about her before.

That meant he cared, right?

His original feeling melts like ice on a summer day as he remembers Hinata's words.

And now he feels...

Distraught. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm home in zoom for the rest of this week and I absolutely hate it.
> 
> But writing is still doing a great job of keeping me sane.
> 
> I also re-filled my credit card because I got paid so I'm gonna order myself a Sasuke Nendoroid, and soon I'll get Naruto's!!! They can hold hands (0//U//0)
> 
> Anyways I'm glad that you guys are interested in who Hinata has become!!! I want to write her really well in this story!!!


	32. Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more after this!!!

"We're not making bad time..." Shikamaru says as he sets down his chopsticks and lights a cigarette. "We should get to the border wall around tomorrow evening. And we'll camp out for that night outside the walls so we can plan a search and attack."

Naruto chews and swallows his fish.

He wishes for some seasoning on it.

And maybe some vegetables on his rice.

But he needs energy because as they travel closer and closer to the Village Hidden in The Rain, the fact that it is autumn becomes more noticeable with every shiver.

He now thanks his already short memory for remembering to pack an under-long sleeve. Which will keep him warm in the nights that he and his team spend huddled next to the fire. 

"Okay, can you lay off glaring at the dirt?" Shikamaru asks with a groan. "It hasn't done shit to you except keep you standing. So what's wrong?"

"Hinata's wrong."

"She's allowed her opinions."

"...What do you think of him? Shikamaru?"

The burnet exhales a large hold of smoke from his lungs. 

"I never really liked him in the first place," He sighs. "But I guess the part about him being an Uchiha was admirable. But I always thought he was thinking too hard at such a young age. Always trying so hard. It got on my nerves ya know? Because I think his Dad probably put some shit on him."

"His Dad?"

"Was one of the greatest Shinobi representatives of their clan..." His lazy friend says. "Never did any wrong. But I guess he did some stuff to Sasuke. Or maybe put it in his head that he was to do great things. And I'm sure to have someone like Itachi as an older brother didn't help much."

Naruto hums and takes another mouthful of food in. 

"But he was still always trying to be the best in everything. And even when he was, it still wasn't enough. And after the massacre of his clan... well I guess that became one of those things that pushed him high before he fell."

"...When he came... came to help us in the battlefield... what did you think...?"

Shikamaru pauses.

And then he smiles and stands, placing his cigarette in the corner of his mouth. 

"I thought about the fact that I had never seen you happier in my whole life."

He goes red as Shikamaru's footsteps leave his ears.

Was it obvious?

No.

There was no one who wanted to speak to him to see. 

Shikamaru had seen wrong, hadn't he?

Naruto couldn't have been so happy...

Why had he been again?

He can't seem to remember the reason. 

Why... can't he?

Why was he so happy then?

He doesn't even really remember...

What happiness...

Is supposed to feel like.

"You should come back to the fire. It's getting cold!" Sai calls, which makes the blond blink too hard. 

It allows one thick tear to fall from his eye. Only to hit his traveling plate with a deaf tone splat. Why is he crying? Because it's so sad to realize. To not understand why one doesn't know. How has he been so blind? Is it because of the post-war clean-ups? The endless funeral services. The surgeries? The paperwork? The distractions? He doesn't understand how he has forgotten what it feels like. To be as happy as Shikamaru has described him.

He can't even recall anything even close to happiness, or joy in the past few months.

Well, maybe small things.

Like ramen outings.

Or drinking with Kakashi the night he became Hokage.

But those were all on the same night.

The same night that Sasuke was receiving his second bone correction surgery. Or was it heart?

Fuck that's a painful thought to think.

Now he's clueless about what to even think.

Does he let more tears fall on his food...

Or does he wipe his nose on his sleeve and pretend that he hasn't just realized the fact that he hasn't felt even an ounce of happiness since Sasuke's return to the Leaf's side?

He picks the second one as he forces his food down and stands to pick a camp spot.

So what if he's only just realized it now...?

It doesn't matter because...

Was he even happy before then in the first place...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My track team has re-formed and now I am faced with excruciating shin pains 24/7
> 
> Annoying?
> 
> oh absolutely.
> 
> Does sitting my ass down all day after four miles and twenty minutes of constant stretching help?
> 
> Yes because the comments you guys give are worth it ;)))))))


	33. Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter for tonight!!!!!

"Fuck!" Kiba yells out. "Screw this!"

"Shut up!" Shikamaru yells, his throat sounding like the ripped edge of a roll of sandpaper. 

"Kiba, please shut your mouth," Sai says with a dangerously sweet tone. "Some of us did not sleep very well last night."

"I didn't sign up for rain!"

"We're going to the land named after fucking rain!" Naruto yells in anger as zips up and begins to walk back to their campsite. He pulls a thin poncho over his head as he does. It won't last long, but to start a mission with wet hair couldn't be good luck. "How stupid can you be?"

"You can't say anything Naruto!" Shikamaru snaps as he messily stirs the eggs with a spoon, taking the crushed caffeine pills from Sai's hands, sniffing them once for his own personal hit. Before he dumps the whole bag in and stirs more. Adding water and maybe cream? Into it, until the powder is hidden enough for package cheese and salmon bits. 

"That's revolting to look at," Sai comments, but only to ease the tension.

"So are you," Shikamaru sneers sarcastically as he spoons the eggs into Sai's dark blue travel mug. "Eat up, you pale freak."

"I hope you choke!" Sai says sweetly as he walks off with his food and his watercolor plate. Probably to the lake to look for bird's nests to paint. 

"He's still a fucking piece of work, huh?" Shikamaru says to no one in particular as he hands Kiba a mug of eggs. Spooning a separate one for Akamaru to munch on. The great dog barks in thanks at the food. 

"Eh, at least he didn't change too much," Kiba sighs as he spoons the food into his mouth.

"Would you prefer a chunk of powder, or a clump, Naruto?"

"What's the difference?

"One goes out easier."

"I'll take that one."

Even though he doubts it will make a difference.

He coughs up the power trying to swallow it without water.

"Where's Hinata?" Shikamaru asks, trying not to laugh at the blond's struggle. 

"She's taking a bath," Kiba says after he controls his laughter. "Akamaru and I went out and checked the traps around camp, there's nothing different about them. Even your wire trap. So no enemies should be bothering us."

"Good, an interference now would be such a drag," Shikamaru sighs as he leans back and throws his mug down, now empty and containing a pile of cigarette butts from the burnets previous night binge. "Naruto, you got anything to report?"

"Kurama hasn't mentioned anything. So we should be okay for now."

"Good," Kiba says as he stands up and throws his mug down too. "Here I'll bring Hinata her breakfast."

"Man, you just don't give up do you?"

"Shut it. I'm just being courteous."

Naruto feels his eyes swerving his surroundings. The smell of firewood and wet leaves filling his nose as the pitter pater of the rain takes over his ears. _It's getting harder..._ He thinks as he rubs the crust from his eyelids. Pushing the hood of his poncho back to re-fasten his headband and mess with his hair. Which he knows probably looks terrible due to the moist air. The trees are protecting them well enough from the rain, but as it grows in intensity, he hears the hiss of the fire grow smaller with every thick drop. 

And he feels.

Like he's being watched.

No. 

It's not that.

He feels worried 

It's been...

Almost two days...

How's he holding up?

Has he been eating right?

And what about his eyes? Have they recovered?

Naruto wants an answer right now.

It's eating away at him.

And the fear and idea that Sasuke could not be okay at this very moment makes his throat hurt more than the pill eggs.

No!

He's okay!

Kakashi is going to watch out for him!

And he's learning!

He's fine!

"You look pale..."

"Huh? I... I'm fine don't worry, I just got some chills," Naruto murmurs a lie at the end to not worry his friend. 

Shikamaru gives him a look from the side.

The rains getting louder by the very minute.

"Okay, good you had me spooked."

_Pitter._

"We're leaving in an hour, don't leave anything behind."

_Patter._

"Got it."

_Pitter._

"I'm gonna take a leak, and if you don't have anything nice to say to our female companion. Don't fucking say it."

_Patter._

"Sure... squad leader..."

The rain is cold.

Cold against his skin.

But it's comforting.

The rain is like him.

Like...

_Sasuke..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was working with my snake around my shoulders on this chapter.
> 
> His name is Blanca, but I kinda wanted to name him Orochimaru.
> 
> But he's too much of a baby for that.
> 
> I'll probably only update twice tomorrow!!! Today was a half-day and track practice wasn't too hard so I had an easier time. 
> 
> Anyways have a great night or day!!!
> 
> See you guys tomorrow!!!


	34. Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two chapters!!!!

"It's not comforting."

"What do you mean by that?"

Hinata swallows her rice before she speaks again.

"The fact that we haven't encountered any enemies is concerning," She explains. Brushing a piece of hair behind her ear as she does. "I want to do another sweep of this area, we're twenty yards from enemy territory, and we haven't even seen outside village protection. It's too suspicious."

"You're right," Shikamaru says as he stands and throws his food down. "Naruto, Hinata, and Kiba. Sweep the area. And check all the traps. Sai and I will stage guard at the camp. Send off a paper bomb if you're attacked. And don't lead them back here. We'll come it to you."

"Right!" Kiba says quickly as he leaps into the air, his dog following him as he retreats.

"Hinata, Naruto, check the west and east. Kiba went north already."

"On it," Naruto says quickly as he too jumps into the air until his feet find another branch to rest on momentarily. But normally his would move to the next one quickly. But this time he waits for a moment. Until the branch sags a bit under his feet. 

Hinata looks to face Naruto will a look of being utterly puzzled on his pale and scarred face.

"I'm sorry..." Naruto says slowly as he leaps to the next branch to the east. He knows that Hinata is following him now that she has heard what she's wanted to hear. "I shouldn't have-"

"I'm not going to forgive you," She says curtly. "I'm just going to make peace with you."

He grits his teeth.

"I mean for punching you."

"... I'll take your apology for that. You almost dislocated my jaw."

_Did I really?_

"But why not for everything else?" Naruto asks quietly, already knowing her answer.

"I will never look at you the same way... unless Uchiha is to maliciously prove that he isn't a heartless monster that is worth defending. Because currently, I see him as nothing more than scum. And it's hard to look at you any different."

_Why am I scum? If I am then your no fucking different._

"Didn't you love Sakura, Naruto?" Hinata whispers as she turns her head while landing like feathers on a puddle. Perching on the tree branch like a cat watching a mouse walk to its death. 

He lands behind her in shock.

But now this shock bubbles down to anger with a tinge of sadness as well.

It was cold of her to bring that up.

And he knows that it is nothing more than a pick-down question. 

But he feels himself blurt the truth anyway because now he maybe believes she will feel sympathy for him if he does.

"Yeah... for... a long time. And then... you came along and..."

"You're, still in love with me?"

He feels his heart stop.

Oh god, that's such a horrible fucking question to ask someone.

Why did she say that?

What is she gaining from this?

Is it to torment him for helping Sasuke? To punish him for... for caring and trying to fulfill his promise to his best friend before she died?

"No, no I'm not."

He's not lying.

"I see," She whispers. "Well, then I'm sure you already know my answer too."

"Would you still..."

"Still what?" She says as she turns her head to look into Naruto's blue eyes. "Would I still what... Naruto?"

"Would you still love me, if I told you that I hated Sasuke? And I was only taking care of him because Sakura had asked him to?"

She's quiet.

"Yes... yes, I would..." She says. Stepping closer to Naruto on the branch. "I would... love you so much..."

He wants to step backward.

Away from her.

He wants to push her hands off his chest, and off his neck and face. He wants to feel angry as she lowers her face to his. But he feels no differents as she whispers to him. He feels nothing at all in his chest. But when she tilts his head down, pressing her lips to his own. The first thing he feels is repulsion. And the urge to knock her from the tree. To urge to throw up. To wash his skin in acid. To turn back time. 

But all it takes is his refusal to kiss her back which makes her stop.

She pulls away.

"So it's not true..." 

"... I... I am not a strong person. But I'm not going to go into detail about that," Naruto whispers with hate dancing on his tongue. "But I'll tell you this. Sakura tried to make me promise to take care of Sasuke if anything was to ever happen to her. I refused because I thought nothing could ever get the best of her. And it was stupid. Because she probably died worried about whether or not we would be okay."

Hinata is the one to step back this time, her knees trembling as she does.

"Hate me all you want Hinata. I understand why. But I don't recommend trying to go after Sasuke under my nose. Because I was asked to take care of him. And I have chosen to take care of him as well. I know what he's done. And I know who he is. And you fucking don't."

"Naruto-!"

"Sasuke's my friend! And I need to be his too! Okay? So don't fucking kiss me! I just told you I don't have feelings for you anymore! So why would you kiss me? After I just asked you a hypothetical question?"

"W-Was it your first kiss?"

"No! No it doesn't fucking matter! J-Just go check the other places! And please don't bring up Sasuke again? Please Hinata?! Can you please just... go?"

She starts to open and close her mouth. But after she watches Naruto sink down to the tree's branch, until he sits in shame on the floor. She whispers a pitiful sorry and turns and leaves.

_Why did she kiss me?_

_Why did I..._

_Why did I think of him..._

"First fucking kiss..." He whispers as he tries to pull himself together. "Yeah right..."

His first kiss was Sasuke.

And his first friend was Sasuke.

His first love was Sakura.

And his second was Hinata. 

And now his second kiss is Hinata.

But who's his love?

Not Hinata.

It's no one. He has no one to call his love.

But he will no longer call Hinata his friend.

Not after this.

And not for a _very_ long time.

But he's so deep in thought that he doesn't even see the kunai shoot past his face. Missing him only by an inch. And he hardly even has a second to jump to his feet and doge the second. And he as does tumble out of the throwing range of his unseeable enemy. He sees a dark figure leap out from the far right of him. Their target. Heading alone back to the Village Hidden In The Rain.

He launches a throwing star at the figure. 

It misses but only by a twist of the arm.

He sets off a paper bomb as he runs after their enemy. 

_Perfect timing._

_This is the best fucking distraction during these trying times._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bro this chapter is a brain dump-
> 
> Please excuse how horrible it is-


	35. Enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I once again apologize for how terrible the last chapter was!!!!!
> 
> I'm gonna write another one tonight to make up for it!!!

Naruto hasn't fought like this in awhile.

The rain has started to pour again.

It's annoying.

It's getting in the way of his vision, and if he doesn't concentrate with all his might.

A kunai may very well slash his throat open. 

_Focus._

He needs Shikamaru here right now.

He's not a long-distance fighter.

Damnit where are they?

He set off the paper bomb five minutes ago! And it was loud enough to even throw his attacker off guard.

So why aren't they coming?

Has Naruto traveled farther than he thought from the camp sight? Have they fallen asleep? No, they wouldn't slack off in such away. Maybe Shikamaru. But never and Anbu Blackop's trained Sai. He would have heard it. Without a doubt. So where are they? And even if not them what about Kiba and... Hinata. Her name is still sour feeling in the blond's brain as he dodges a flaming kunai attack by leaping upwards and flipping down onto one tree away from his opponent. Who leaps to a branch on their own tree. Which Naruto sees as a cheap tactical advantage move.

So he cuts through the middle man and leaps upward with all his might to strike an attack on the hooded person in front of him.

He makes ten shadow clones two seconds before he slams his fist into the figure's face, enough to surround him as he tries to escape with a 'Tsk!'.

But his clones are just as strong as the real him. 

And soon the figure has fallen to the ground with every block and pound from the illusions Naruto has created. 

The blond now yanks capture cord from his pack pouch, unweaving it enough in between his clones kicks and blocks to sling it around the figure and tear off his hood. 

"Attacking from... behind huh? Pretty shitty move..." He gasps, unaware of how winded he sounds. 

The man below him doesn't respond. 

Naruto quickly observes him as he pulls seemingly the millionth kunai from his pouch.

He looks to be in his late thirties. With brown long hair and a bearded chin. And his eyes are down, and he seems to be pulsating with anger as well as urgency and hate. 

"Release me." He snarls with bitter distaste in his throat. 

"I'll pass. Because I think you know who I am, and why I'm here."

"Release me."

_Stubborn mother fucker..._

"Why did you attack my fellow shinobi's? And where are the Anbu Blackotps information documents that you stole? Answer me or I'll start doing more than punching your sorry ass."

"Release me. _Now_."

"Don't make me ask again mother fuck-!"

_Slash!_

He can feel the pulse on his cheek as he is forced backward with a gust of wind. And he feels his own blood leave his face as topples off the tree with the scale of the wind that breaks from the man. He catches himself just in time on a branch. But before he can even yank himself up again, he sees every leaf on the trees around him blow off like they were nothing but dandelion seeds. They swill around him and everything in his vision path, which has already been limited due to the rain. And as he tries to fight the leaves away to attempt to locate his target. His eyes can find nothing except a bundle that has fallen onto a branch lower than him.

"Fuck!" He yells as he continues to scan the skies around him, still pouring with this annoying and endless rain.

"Naruto!" A high voice calls. 

It's Hinata.

But right now Naruto is so angry with himself for not binding the man's hands well enough.

That he momentarily forgets about the fact that she practically assaulted him.

"Shikamaru and Sai were attacked. And I and Kiba were too. I'm sorry that we couldn't come to you right away. None of us even had time to set off a paper bomb. What happened?"

"It was the guy... the guy we're looking for. He's the leader of... of the ones who attacked you guys," Naruto coughs as more rain continues to pour down his face.

"How do you know?"

"He... he... he took the fucking wind out of me. And you don't even have a scratch on you. So... he's defiantly the strongest."

"Did he say anything? There's kunai all over the trees! What happened?"

"I thought he was just a weapon master... but when I managed to get him down. He must have only used one hand. But he created this... this gust of wind... and it knocked me down here."

"A wind chakra nature..." She whispers as she turns to face the open parts of the woods, now missing the protection of its leaf canopy. She now proceeds to weave out the fast and instantaneous hands signs for her Byukuygan.

But as she calls out its name.

Naruto steps away from her down to the ground to inspect the bag that has landed on the ground.

"I can see his chakra nature! It's headed right into the city!" She calls, only now noticing that Naruto is not beside her. And for a moment she looks sad, but then she clenches her fist and seems to recall her actions. So she comes down slowly. And keeps her distance as she approaches the blond digging through the bag. "Are the documents in there? Any identifications?"

"No... just... medicines for... server lung disease. And a shit ton of measurement glasses... and formula tables..."

"Medicine? Did he seem ill?"

"No... not at all."

"Then why?"

"I don't know," He snaps irritably. Still fuming over his loss. But as he toses the bag over his shoulder and turns briefly to his former crush. Looking into her lavender eyes trying not to surface his anger at her as well. He says; "But maybe we can get something out of the other two."

"You're right. We've bound them at camp, let's go!" She says will all her composer back as she shoots to the air. But what surprises Naruto about what she says next. Is how much her tone changes. "And I'm sorry! I was being an idiot!"

"..."

He doesn't respond.

It's too soon to feel sorry for her.

But he can hear her reasons later.

Because now he is a shinobi. 

A shinobi with a mess to fix.

And a person to come home for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My favorite thing about this fic is definitely the fact that I can just really be free about how I'm writing.
> 
> I don't have to worry anymore about reaching a certain chapter word count.
> 
> Because I've already set the record straight about the chapters not being long in the first place.
> 
> One more update!!!!


	36. Hostages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter for tonight!!!
> 
> Enjoy!!!!

"You two okay?" Kiba asks as he runs forward (Mainly to Hinata). "Any injuries? We have to pack up soon so if you have anything Sai will treat them while the first aid kits out."

_Con of not having a medical ninja one site with us._

"I'm fine Kiba," Hinata says quietly as she pats his hand that he has placed on her small shoulder. "How's everyone else? How are you..."

But her voice drains out as Naruto walks away towards Sai because he hates the feeling of his own blood trickling down his face. "Mind patching this up?"

"Of course!" He says with a smile as he beckons Naruto to sit down. But as he does begin treating Naruto's cut, his voice grows quiet. "We captured two of the enemies. Their brothers and they're refusing to tell us whether there is another person out there. ut judging by this... can I assume to say they're lying?"

"Yeah, I was attacked in the west from here. A guy in a hood was crazy into throwing kunai. But when I got close enough to him, I created some clones to hold him down long enough to tie him down," Naruto explains as Sai presses a cotton bandage to his face. "I thought he was just a simple weapon user but, he managed to form some hand signs with only one of his hands. And then he sent out a huge fucking gust of wind, it knocked all the leave off the trees and he managed to getaway. But he dropped this bag, and it doesn't have a single weapon in it. Just filled to the brim with medical supplies. For treating the lungs."

"Hmmm... interesting..." Sai whispers as he shuts the first aid kit and stands with Naruto. "This way, you can ask about the bag."

"Right."

They pass through the small campsite, which has been covered in a drape to block out the rain. So underneath it's dry and warm. The drape has a center in the middle for a campfire, which is still lit but needs more wood. And five sleeping bags also lay around it. Supplies trunks are placed near the parts of the drape with the least holes. Summoned from Shikamaru's travel scrolls and organized by Sai. And soon their campsite will be deserved and turned over at the ground in case of any enemies that might be tracking them. But it's not as bad as it sounds, because it's nice sometimes to know that they could be soaking wet in the rain. But they have the protection of a holey drape instead. 

But Naruto stops taking in the scenery upon seeing two young boys tied to a tree and struggling with all their might.

They wear the same cloaks as their father and have his same brown hair, but they seem to be twins at first glance. At almost identical heights and face shape. But as Naruto peers closer the brother on the left has more stubble than the second brother. This leads the blond to believe the idea brother on the left is older, and the one who attacked Shikamaru and Sai. Because Shikamaru has a small scratch on his arm. And that's extremely unnatural for him. 

"Look, obviously we're here for stolen information, and you two clearly don't have it. So can you make my lifeless of a damn drag and just tell us why you randomly attacked two pairs of leaf shinobi?"

"We're not taking shithead! Now let us go-!"

"Why did was your father headed back towards the village hidden in the rain?" Naruto cuts in, bending down to the brothers who instantly go white with fear.

"How do you know that?" The brother on the right gasps.

"You three look the same by heritage," Naruto says cooly, extending his hand for a cigarette to smoke from Shikamaru. Who gives him one as Sai whispers to him about what Naruto had said. And as he takes a draw on it, and feels his chest clench and his throat go dry. His mind recalls the feeling being similar to that of seeing Sasuke tremble or cower in his arms. And suddenly that memory hurts more than the nicotine. "Now tell me... why was your father in such a hurry to get away from here?"

"T-That wasn't our father! O-Our father died when we were born!" The second brother lies. Naruto sees past this but feels his eyes drifting to the first brother. Who has his head down. 

_He's the one with the head out of them._

_Edge him into talking._

"Why so much lung treatment medicine?"

The older boys head shoots up like it is being pulled by a string, 

"How do you-?" He cries, his voice is lower but worried and desperate to understand.

"Your old man dropped it after being pinned by your truly, my guess is he just noticed it's gone. Why the strong reaction?"

"He needs that!" The older brother screams. "You thief!"

"Me?" Naruto says lazily, feeling like a knowledgeable person to have cracked the brother. "Your father is the thief, man. He attacked two of our villages shinobi and stole our documents. And now he's got a pile of medicine? I'm not gonna assume anything but..."

"He wasn't stealing!" The first brother shrieks. "He was going to return them you sick fuck! And he was going to pay for the medicine later! So why the hunt for it? Are those documents so damn important? I guess not considering that they sent out a bunch of weaklings like you!"

Naruto grits his teeth.

Shikamaru notices and makes him stand up.

"We need to speak to your father, and we need those papers. Now either you tell us where your father is. Or we will hold you as bait until he comes back here. I don't really care what for. But we need him here. So unless you're comfortably tied to this lovely tree in the cold rain. Wait. If your not. Talk."

The first brother spits on the dirt, and the second flips them off. 

"Fine then. Get nice and comfy." Shikamaru hisses and he stands and wipes his pants. "Sai guard them. Naruto, tell Kiba to take the first watch. Naruto set more traps. Hinata, scan out the area every hour. And I'll guard the bag, clear?"

"Understood!" They all shout as they shoot out into their new positions. 

The blond throws his cigarette down at the brother's feet and turns on his heel to walk off when the thought crashes into his head like a spreading truck.

"Got a mom?"

The second brother chokes on his own air.

And the first brother spits again. 

"Got it..." Naruto says with a smirk, that fades to a sad grin as he walks off towards the edge line of the trees. 

_So that's it, huh?_

_Tragic..._

_Tragic indeed..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was a little short!!! Sorry about that!! These new characters are all original so I've been piecing this arc together carefully so it all makes sense!!!
> 
> Anyways hope you enjoyed it!!!
> 
> Love you all!!!
> 
> Have a nice day/night!! And I'll see you tomorrow!!!


	37. Gnawing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three updates today??????
> 
> I don't know it is Friday after all-

"We can't wait around anymore!" Naruto yells out, which startles everyone into dropping their filled utensils. "It's been two days! He's not coming back!"

"One more day, he could be tricking us into believing that," Shikamaru says as he spoons another mouthful of eggs into his mouth. "I don't want to enter the village yet. There could be an ambush. Or more alleys of the father."

"No, I don't like it. We need to act!" Naruto says again. 

"We will not leave this campsite until midnight tonight! We will continue to watch the bag and the kids! Is that clear?" Shikamaru yells. His mood clearly breaking through his lessening composer. 

Naruto glares at his friend.

But nods knowing deep down he's probably right.

It's been four days now since their departure from the village.

Worry and agitation are starting to come into effect. 

And the blonds so very sick of stream fish and rice.

He's craving ramen among many things.

But he's also worried half to death about his apartment's second inhabitant.

Kakashi sent a message by hawk yesterday. Asking how things were going and what Shikamaru's estimation for the mission's end date was. But he hadn't mentioned anything about what was going on back in the leaf. But what made the blond worry the most, was the fact that Kakashi gave no mention of Sasuke's name anywhere in the scroll. Had Naruto wanted to include his concern in the letter Shikamaru sent back to Kakashi?

Yes.

Was he scared too at the same time?

Absolutely.

Because then what would the others think?

He said that he didn't care.

But what about the mission?

Would they think of him as selfish? And inconsiderate toward the task at hand?

Probably.

But even though he is worried and hasty, he is also mad about sitting like a waiting duck. 

Something is going on.

The father isn't back yet, and that's what's so damn worrying to him.

Okay, Naruto wouldn't come back for the sons either, but what about the bag?

If his formed theory is correct then he knows that the medicine in the bag is necessary and needed right away.

So why not return immediately for it?

Why wait this long?

He washes off his plate in the stream. 

"Naruto," Kiba says as he squats down next to him. "Do you mind washing the plates, me and Hinata are sweeping the perimeter? I think he might be hiding out here somewhere. I just wanna confirm so I can sleep an hour or two tonight."

"Yeah sure, I can do that. Be safe!" Naruto calls out as his friend makes to depart with his dog, meeting Hinata at a tree farther off.

She's left him alone.

He can say he's definitely thankful for that. 

But now it's gnawing at him more.

This is why he sets down the dishes and hops into a tree.

He doesn't know how much longer he'll be able to tolerate being forced to wait and babysit the two brothers and the bag.

It just feels so very pointless considering that something more important is at his house.

Wait... important...

No yes, important! Of course, it's important!

_Stop calling him an 'It'!_

He's important, and he's at home.

So why are they doing nothing?

Why is he doing nothing?

"I know you want to leave."

"Jesus christ Shikamaru!" Naruto cries as he jumps up upon hearing the brunets voice. "Don't fucking do that!"

"I want to leave and get this over with too. I wanna get home so I can go see Temari, and I know you're worried about Uchiha too. So your not alone in that matter," He now takes a breath. "But I'm not risking it. A guy who can perform hand signs with one hand? It's the kinda thing most ninja's dream of. Plus he's a rogue ninja with two kids and some sticky fingers. So I don't want to be stupid and attack blind. You understand that right?"

Naruto sighs. "Yeah I understand, I'm just sick of this crap."

"We'll move out tonight at midnight, not a minute later. I promise. So just chill until the end of the day? Okay?"

"...Okay... I'll wait..." He whispers. But as Shikamaru nods and starts to walk away, Naruto has a sudden craving. "Hey! Give me a cig!"

"Tryin' to get addicted?"

"Maybe... they are a great distraction method. And they make me feel cool."

"So childish..." Shikamaru laughs as he throws the blond his pack. And a small black lighter. "Knoch yourself out by being cool!"

He places the butt of it in his mouth.

And lights it.

And as he takes the first inhale.

He thinks of Sasuke.

And how much he hated smoking.

Because the third Hokage smoked.

And he hated him almost as much as he hated Danzo or the council.

But it wasn't like they even liked him in the first place...

Naruto blows smoke to the sky, which has become grey and down again. "What are you doing right now...?"

The sky rumbles.

Rain is coming again.

"Sorry, Sakura..." Naruto whispers childishly. "I'll let you have your tantrum."

The rain begins to fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm taking Italian in school and my teacher reminds me so much of Tsunade sometimes it's creepy
> 
> It's mainly the fact that she gives no fucks whatsoever.
> 
> Anyways!!! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!!! Definitely three chapters!!!!


	38. Enter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more after this!!!

Sai is the one who has bound the brothers with his tightest cord. 

Kiba is the one who is in the back with Akamaru.

Hinata is in front with Shikamaru.

And Naruto is dead set in the middle, carrying the bag which is strapped to his stomach.

And he's ready for a fight. 

And also to go home.

But as he walks through the night, rain still drizzling down his face he sees the gate to the village and feels his body consciously speed up. 

He feels the wind growing stronger.

An ambush?

No, how would he know?

Unless of course there had been communication...

_No! That's stupid! Hinata checked them, and Akamaru did too, so thinking of something stupid like that won't help._

But he feels uneasy despite this.

Maybe Shikamaru's words have gotten to his head. 

Maybe because the idea of him not coming home to his roommate in one piece is worrying to him...

"Father! Help us!"

He's startled so much by this outburst from the second brother that he falters in his steps.

"Help us father! They've come for the papers! They have the medicine! Help us! Attack-!"

Sai strikes him in the notch of his jaw, and he falls to be caught by the cords and his older brother's limited reach. "Satou!"

"You're next if you two don't shut the hell up," Sai says with a pleasant grin, his tone similar to one responding to a pleasant complement.

"You fucking freak! What did you do to him-!"

Sai strikes the older brother now, but not directly in the veins that will render him unconscious. But the ones that will leave a wave of pain if the slightest pressure is applied. "Next time I won't miss."

_Fuck he's still scary as hell._

The far-middle man now hoists the younger brother up with the cord, while the elder brother now struggles to remain in the right head as he walks, or shifts towards the now fast approaching gates. Which loom like the gates of his own village, but without the life. Without the fun and anticipation for what could happen inside the gates. Without the life or shops. Or calm and happy like the ninja academy for those younger children that run wild with the hope that one day they to will do great things like the heroes in their books did.

Naruto's name is in those books now.

Is that a comforting thought?

To know that he has changed the world?

To know that he saved it?

He saved the world...

He's a hero...

He saved Sasuke from his fall...

He filed his promise to Sakura...

To bring him home...

But it hurts like hell.

He should have promised someone to bring Sakura home as well.

Ino...

She loved Sakura... why didn't he see it?

No.

Why didn't he promise himself that he himself would...

"Yield!"

Naruto stops three seconds away from stepping inside this village.

"State your names!"

"Naara! We are travelers of the leaf! We have no bother with your village! We are here only to speak to a resident or passer-by!"

"And who are these with you?"

"Friend and not foe's! This is my friend! She speaks a language you would not know! They all do! Her lover is in the back! He walks with his dog! In the middle are my friends as well! They have won a game of tag with the two you see tied up! Don't worry, they're a bit screwed up in the head..."

Shikamaru's voice has an odd accent added to it.

And it's hard for the blond not to laugh.

"Pass-through! And make no trouble be warned!"

_What the hell is with these people, this isn't a fucking soap opera!_

But as they walk.

It starts to feel like one.

Because the air feels heavier.

And the blond feels watched.

And he feels the rain pour harder as Kiba comes to walk by his side. Casting him a look of 'Okay' as he does. 

But it doesn't feel okay.

Somethings coming.

So Naruto whispers to Kurama who stands inside his heart.

He is ready for anything now.

He's ready to fight.

And he's ready to go home.

And see that his tied second and first priority.

Is safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was working on an art project today and my little sister was reading something next to me. I asked her what she was reading and she said a Wattpad story. And I asked her what kind
> 
> And she said vampire diaries.
> 
> So...
> 
> Suicide is always an option.


	39. Scratch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter for tonight!!!
> 
> ლ(´ڡ`ლ)

"Naruto, why're you taking the first watch? You should be resting."

"I'm ready for a fight," Naruto says quickly. "And I just have a hunch that their father was near the gate."

"You think?" Kiba says as he scratches his cheek and looks out into the night. "Okay, wake me up in three then."

"Okay..." Naruto says as he turns out to face the still pouring sky. 

Everyone is resting. Not counting the brothers. Sai is asleep on the dirt, and he is curled up with his head protected. His dinner lays next to him scrapped to the state of being almost black hole-like. Hinata and Kiba are together, Kiba resting with his arm on his dog, and Hinata resting next to him. He's blushing at this. Shikamaru too is asleep, he's finally given in to sleep that is. And one of Naruto's clones is watching the brothers. 

And Naruto is ready to attack anyone who tries to enter suspiciously into their inn's room.

The receptionist at the inn was rather dreary when she provided them with a room.

And she smelt like cigarettes and old people.

But she is certainly not the man who attacked Naruto.

So the blond throws his head back and huffs.

Suddenly he wishes that he didn't take the first watch.

Maybe he should create a clone and hunt for the enemy.

No that's moronic.

He hears an unfamiliar cough and jumps to his feet.

It's the younger brother.

_Satou, right?_

"H-Hey! Ren! Wake up! Wake up!"

"Oi! Shut it! My team hasn't slept in three days! So keep your tantrum ready for the battle!" Naruto's clone snaps. 

"Oh yeah? We haven't slept in a week! Let us go!"

Naruto pauses at that.

"Hey, you, keep a lookout for me," He orders to his clone.

_Maybe he's finally ready to talk..._

The blond squats down to look the boy in the eyes. "What's your name?"

"...It's Satou..."

"Hm, if I ask you some questions, are you going to flip out like an idiot or are you going to be smart?"

"Depends on what your asking..." Satou mumbles. 

"Why so worried about the bag? You know we're here for the papers, so why are you not just handing them over? Why is the bag more important?"

The brunet pauses and takes a shaky breath of air.

"Y-Your village... your Anbu members... do they have medical experience?"

"Some do, but only for life-threatening wounds, not like normal doctors."

"Do they know... know how to treat infections?"

"If they have the right things..."

"W-We needed to get... we need an Anbu doctor. We stole the papers to find one that would help. And we ambushed you guys from the leaf... because we thought your village might send out the members whose paperwork was stolen."

Naruto records that in his mind.

But clicks his tongue never the less.

"But why do you need the bag? And an Anbu doctor?"

"I-I can't tell you that!"

"Why?"

"My father forbids it!"

"Why are you listening to what he says? He's abandoned you two here? Why not help yourselves? It's selfish but-"

"What do you know? About my father?" The boy shrieks, losing his temper in a heartbeat. "He hasn't abandoned us in the slightest! In fact! You'll see that now! Right father? Right father?"

He suddenly feels like a cold hand has been placed on the back of his neck.

But as he tries to throw his head back to see, he realizes a cold hand _is_ on his neck. 

_I hate it when these little brats turn out to be right._

He throws the paper bomb before he even thinks of something to say to the man above him.

And with the blast going off like a time halter.

Naruto sweeps his leg under the man's feet, knocking him off his balance enough to free himself from his grasp. He tucks and turns like a master in TaiJutsu as he grabs hold of the large bag. Which clinks as he jumps to the side of the room where all his friends stand, weapons ready. They look startled and groggy, but they have heard the signal like the excellent shinobi's they are. 

But Naruto, no matter how excellent he is.

Makes minor mistakes sometimes.

His mistake today is that he has used a fire paper bomb.

And now the golden and orange flames have begun to consume the mats on the floor. 

"Split! Capture and attack! Do not let them get the bag!" Shikamaru screams as Kiba kicks the boards off the ceiling following the suit of the father and his sons. "Naruto! Run! He'll be after you!"

He knows this.

And he's made aware of this as he feels the slice of another Kunai spread on his right arm.

He knows it's just missed his vital veins.

He leaps into the air, until his feet fine a telephone pole.

His arm is throbbing, and burning at even the pulse of his heart.

_Poison._

He can see the father coming.

He forces himself to jump, which makes the fabric of his shirt rub his cut. Which makes him nearly cry out in pain. The poison is strong. But not strong enough to kill him. But enough to put him on the ground to steal the bag back. He instantly creates a clone. Who jumps with him, sucking his cut to try and draw out some poison. Because he can't flatter in this game of cat and mouse.

He hates being the mouse.

But the mouse is clever.

Clever enough to make an unexpected drop away from the cat, and take a right before the cat notices in which area the mouse has fallen.

Naruto dashes along the puddle-filled streets, his eyes hunting for a place to tie up his arm.

A hospital.

A resting home for the elderly.

Suddenly he sees hope.

A small abandoned-looking house, with a sign that hangs to the side that reads 'Resting Home For The Less Fortunate'. Normally he would be offended, but he scampers inside without a second thought. And he throws himself down and instantly begins to hunt for gaws.

Because the cat will not give up on its reward so easily.

But neither will the mouse.

Not when the cheese is so bountiful like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANYONE ELSE READING PAINTER OF THE NIGHT!!!??!?!?
> 
> Girl I was struggling to focus cause it was eating away at me
> 
> Curse my fucking mind ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ
> 
> Sleep well bebes!!!!


	40. Woman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one chapter today!!! A million apologies!!!
> 
> I've been feeling like shit today mentally and also physically!!! But I'm going to bed early tonight so I should be able to push out three chapters tomorrow!!!

Naruto's arm is throbbing.

And so is his mind.

This poison is strong.

It's making his arm tighten at the joints and muscles. 

How long until it spreads?

_No, I need to cut off the blood transport. Sakura said that._

So he rips his jacket apart and tries his best to wrap it tight around his arm, his shadow clone helping him as well.

"Fuck this..." He thinks out loud as he finally stands and begins to glance around his hideout.

It's dusty and old feeling. Naruto dislikes this, but he sighs knowing that it is a good hideout. Because the place is abandoned, and lifeless. So he doesn't need to worry about the small chance of his enemy following him. Nevertheless, he does not doubt that this battle will soon be over. Shikamaru has probably already figured the battle plan out for the brothers. Seeing that one of them is as simple-minded as a shrimp, and the other one is foolish in the sense that he can and will lose his control in the heat of the moment.

No matter how powerful a shinobi may be.

They are weak if they have no control over the mind itself.

Naruto can't really say however that he is the perfect fit for that motto.

He has lost his head in battle more times than he can count.

But he can still be in the moment.

Like he is now as he hears a scrape against sandpaper.

His kunai is ready in seconds flat.

"Oh... did I startle you?" 

It's a woman.

She looks derry, and she has the look of a body whose expiration date is soon and planned out.

"Could you maybe hold off the light?" Naruto says calmly, as he tucks his weapon back in his bag. "You can light it again as soon as I leave."

"Of course, I don't mind a minute or two more!"

Her voice is kind and simple.

But it sounds heavy with a force of exhaustion and sadness.

Naruto's mind momentarily fashes to Sasuke.

And how sad his lips were when he learned that he was to be alone again.

"Um... if you really need to... you can light the candle..."

"Oh, thank you, I won't be long..." She says remorsefully as she re-strikes the match. The room fills with a gentle glow, and Naruto's eyes silently adjust as the woman before him comes into view. Her hair is long and in a loose bun, with greying stipes following throughout. She's skinny, and her face is waxy in the golden light. And her wrists are thin and her chest pumps up and down harshly. As though she has just completed a long run. But Naruto sees the image of her breaking under nothing but a small kick to the shins.

She looks weak and pitiful.

And her face is sad at that.

He feels the name enter his mind before he can force it out.

"Could I help you with anything?" He bursts out.

"Hmm, could you maybe..." She now breaks into a harsh cough, and Naruto feels himself jump up before she can ever hold up her hands to her mouth. "Ah, I'm sorry... could you maybe hand me that bottle?"

Naruto nods gently.

The bottle is full of greenish water, and it smells of green tea, but not the kind that makes you feel calm.

But sick and useless.

"Are you, are you ill Miss?"

"It's nothing too bad... my husband is such a baby about it. My sons as well. Thank you, dear," She says kindly as she takes the bottle and begins to dig around through her pockets. Until she pulls forth a small bottle filled with small white pills. "All you need is pain refile and some fever relievers... right dear?"

Naruto says nothing.

"Can I ask why you're here? I don't recognize your headband? Are you of the stone?"

"No, the leaf. I was being chased. I'm sorry to bring danger to your door."

"No not a bother... you're my first real guest in two months! My children have not allowed their friends to see me anymore. They even moved me here! Silly boys, I do hope they learn to trust in me, the sick one before their own minds."

"I see..." Naruto says as he closes his eyes as another jolt of pain shoots through his arm, and he feels the pain enter his shoulder as well. 

"Do you need some help there, with your arm?"

"Hmm? No, it's poison. Nothing can help me, and it will pass in a second. My friends... agh... know what they're doing... so... don't mind if... I..."

He feels his eyes roll backward.

But as soon as the feeling of exhaustion comes.

It leaves with the cold feeling of rain on his burning arm.

He looks down.

The woman has a dropper and a flask.

"Water is a natural purity..." She says with a smile. Her yellow teeth are not ugly but kind to Naruto's thankful eyes. "This poison is not strong at all, it just needs to be removed before it _does_ get strong. Better?"

"Thank you..." Naruto groans as he sits up. Watching as the yellow poison, loosely placed in his arm, trickles down like nothing more than water spilling from glass to full.

She coughs again, this time more violently.

"What are you sick with?" Naruto asks as he feels himself unknowing leading the woman back to bed. Where she lies, still hacking into her elbow.

"A-A parasite came round in the water. And it killed most so quickly and silently. For m-me, it did not show after I thought I had fought it off. And it came back just when my sons were graduating from the ninja academy... I missed the most important days of their life... because I was too sick in bed. And every time I think my curse is gone, it only comes back. My husband has driven himself mad. He has traveled to every village on the map, begging for doctors to at least glance at my case. This is the seventh village we've stayed in. We are not rich my dear, we are simple country folk with bad luck and some minimal ninja traits."

"I'm... sorry to hear that..."

"Ah, you sound like my children. Bless them, hotheaded is my youngest, and emotionally vulnerable is my oldest. It will be... hard for them when I pass on."

"You, think you're going to die?" Naruto asks stupidly, of course, she is. She's lucky to still be breathing now. 

"The body knows when it is time. I'm just holding on now because my husband has taken my children out. It's been a week now... and I must see them again. I must tell them to let go. I must make them promise to be strong. To take care of each other. And I must make my husband accept the truth. That I am not worth all this madness... I must make him stop killing himself... I know he has made many faults trying to cure me. I am not worth it. And he must know that before I die."

He feels the connection.

It's a similar one.

And the feel of it is like one falling in slow motion.

The husband that gives it all up for his hopeless wife.

The maybe friend who gives up practically nothing to the sad and lost friend.

"Dear? Are you alright?" The woman asks gently, as she places her waxy hand on Naruto's face.

_Why does everything have to bite me in the fucking ass?_

"Milla! Get down! He'll kill you!" 

He feels the woman turn to her husband.

He hears the kunai whip through the air.

And he...

Makes his move, faster than the speed of light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry again about only one update!!!!
> 
> Sleep well!!!


	41. Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest to holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one tonight!!!!

Naruto can see why now the man is attacking.

Because he's fearful, and lost in his head.

This time more than the last.

For his moves are sloppy and his throws are weak. 

Naruto hates fighting these kinds of battles.

The kind where the ending is already set in stone.

The kind where one aches to hurt the other side because they know it will do no good in the end.

The woman has fallen on her bed, she's too weak with excitement now even to stand. 

And her husband is just failing his arms at this point.

Protecting her.

Naruto refuses to harm her.

No, he won't lay finger on her.

Because he feels sorrow for her, he pities her in her weak and sick state.

He unlike other pride-filled Shinobi's does not think of this pity as a weakness though.

It doesn't make you weak to care.

It makes you human.

He repeats that to himself now as he launches himself into the air and wraps his legs around the man's neck. Twisting him enough to slam him down to the floor. The man gives a scream at the impact, and Naruto's stomach clenches upon it entering his ears. But he doesn't hesitate as he wraps the capture cord around the man, sealing off both his hands this time. The man is screaming now, and so is the woman. But Naruto's ears adjust as he turns the man over to yank out a thick wad of papers from his breast pocket.

The files.

Mission complete.

Naruto stands now.

And turns to leave with a blank expression on his face.

"The bag! Give me the bag!" The man screams. "It's mine! I need it! Take the papers! I don't care! Just leave the damn bag!"

Naruto hates himself forever taking on this mission. 

"Are these products stolen?"

"You're mission is over! You heartless monster! My wife is sick! Give me that bag!"

"You're lucky we haven't been assigned to take you home!" Naruto yells back. "These items are stolen! We can't just give you them!"

"Give me the bag! Please!" The man screams as he slams his forehead to the ground in a bow. "I... I need... to help her..."

"Stop it now. Stop Kenji."

"Don't, this is necessary, you need to get better!" Kenji cries as he presses his head so hard into the floor that the wood begins to break. 

"Stop this. You know it's pointless, so please just rest."

"No! No! You're my wife! You need to grow old with me! You need to live!"

"Enough!" Milla screams with the effort left in her lungs. "That's enough from you..."

"No! I need to help you-!"

"Stand down now or you will never see the likes of me again!" She finally screams as she throws her body over her husband, to stop him from pointlessly fighting. She is sobbing at this point. And her chest is seemingly decaying as she continues to push her husband down. The blond's sanity is breaking. He can't stop himself from feeling this despair. It's like watching the nightmares that used to consume the blond's mind. Nightmares that involved him trying to hold on. Hold on to him. Stop him. Stop him from trying. Stop him from hating. Stop him from leaving.

He sees it almost as a reverse now.

And he feels his body fall as the woman's frantic gaze meets his own.

Her eyes are so sickly, and her body looks so weak.

She looks...

Like Sasuke.

Sasuke when he saw Naruto drunk that night. 

Sasuke when he saw Naruto struck down in the battle against Haku.

He had thrown himself in front of him...

Hadn't he?

Is that not what this woman is doing now?

For the mentally lost husband that only wants to care for her?

Sasuke is so gentle to him.

So reveling.

So showing off who he really is.

This woman is honest, even when it hurts.

She is no different than the raven that waits in his home now.

Naruto starts to sway on his knees as the two people in front of him start to blur together like watercolors placed to wet next to one another. He sees the vision, of Sasuke holding to Naruto so tight in the night. Knowing that he is unwell and useless to Naruto as a rival. As a friend. He is the honest weak woman, who is stronger than the weak and blind husband. Who is Naruto from their stubborn minds to twisted ways of help. 

They are the same.

Naruto refuses to see that Sasuke is more vulnerable and weak than he was before.

Just like the husband refuses to see that his wife is not the same, and will never be, even if he was to travel a hundred years. Take a hundred lives. His wife would still die an early death. And be buried in a shallow grave in front of her two sons. 

Naruto will never have the old Sasuke back.

He knows that.

So why doesn't he act on this knowledge?

Why does he shut it out?

Because it hurts.

It hurts like hell.

It hurts in the way of being frustrated to the point where one rips out their hair. Throws things. Gets angry at nothing. Grits their teeth to not raise their fits to more. 

Naruto has already said that he will try and make it better.

But these are empty words.

But...

He needs to try.

And find the good in the Sasuke he has now.

He wanted Sasuke back.

He's home.

And now...

Naruto knows that he was stupid to think Sasuke would just flip like a switch back to his old perfect self. Even when he wasn't even perfect then. He hated the world so much back then. And he was cold and reserved. And he's gotten so much better. He's shown who is to Naruto. And maybe even parts of the real world. Because he's changed. He's become the person he should have been if the world had not been so cold to him.

And the blond sees this now as he places the tattered bag down in front of the man, and helps the woman to her bed so he can remove the cords from his former enemy.

"You're wife... is dying, Sir..." Naruto whispers as he looks down upon the man, who has rushed back to hold his wife's body in his arms. 

He flinches at that.

"You're wife knows that," Naruto says, swallowing down and expelling his old ideals to the best of his ability to this man. "So, stop hunting for hope. It's not worth it. To want what you can no longer have."

"But I can-!"

Naruto holds up his hand, clenching it as he brings it down.

"No... no medical jutsu can fix what your wife has sir. But you've known that ever since she was refused. Haven't you?"

He pulls his wife closer, who kisses his forehead with remorse.

"So stop searching, and just see, how lucky you are. To have someone as kind and honest as her. Stop looking to the past, and your desperate side for the answers you only want to hear. And just open your eyes and try and savor what you know you still have."

The man is in tears now.

"My mission is complete. So, please do not cause us more trouble? Because it would be a heartbreaking thing to know that... your wife passed without you by her side, because you were too blind..."

"... You shinobi... are not taught to sympathize with the enemy? Are you not?" The man whispers with a croaked tone.

"Well, considering that you are nothing more than a lost man. To me, you are no enemy. So yes we are taught not to. If that's the answer you want to hear."

And with this.

Naruto takes his leave with the documents in his hand. 

His body feels ten pounds lighter...

And five times happier...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sleep well guys!!!!


	42. Hinata

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First update today!!! In school and refreshed!!!

"Well, I'm too damn lazy after fighting it with those morons to even give a damn if the guy was good or not. We got those papers and that's all that was asked. Plus Kakashi probably digs that bad to a good thing. So he won't bother me about that crap. So let's head out, this village blows!" Shikamaru commands lazily as he jumps to the sky, his teammates laughing slightly at his sarcastic and humorous words.

They know he is actually proud of Naruto for handling this mission so well.

And they also know how relieved he is because he doesn't need to do the extra paperwork.

"Sai, where are those other kids?" Naruto asks as the pale boy jumps from tree to tree silently.

"Oh them? Oh, I left the younger one in a dumpster! The older one's fate was out of my control so... I couldn't say about him!" He says sweetly as his shirt flows in the wind, framing his stomach which bears only a small kick bruise on his abs. 

_Scary mother fucker! No wonder he a Yamato get along so well!_

They land at their old original campsite and they set up without as many provocations as the last few nights.

"Akamaru sniffed out the area, were all good!" Kiba calls as he hops down from the trees, carrying a few bundles of firewood in his hands. 

"Good, another attack from violent but also stupid shinobi would be such a damn drag," Shikamaru sighs as he strikes the flint and creates a glowing fire. "Okay! Sai's in charge of injuries, Hinata set up the overhang. Kiba go get some food, and Naruto writes the report for me."

"And what are you going to do?"

"Me? I'm taking a nap. Complete your orders. And don't wake me up until food, and then don't wake me up until the crack of dawn. I wanna make fast travel to the village. If we get lucky we might be back by tomorrow night."

Everyone makes noises of retaliation, but Shikamaru pays no attention as he flops down on his side and falls asleep in seconds. 

Naruto now groans as he begins to violently dig through the informational scrolls in Shikamaru's bag, and when he eventually finds a blank report scroll. He plops down on a place of land that is not too wet.

He unscrews the top of the ink bottle carefully and begins to write with his tired hands.

He knows how messy his handwriting is, but Kakashi should be able to make out the minimal things.

And after thirty minutes of work from all members of the team (Excuklding Shikamaru), the campsite is full of life and also fun. 

Kiba and his pet have caught small fish from the nearby pond, as well as animals that made a good curry over the fire. The brunet also spares greatly on rice, and he offers fish and rice 'Sushi' as an appetizer. Also as a trick to wake up Shikamaru for the rest of the celebrations.

Hinata has set up the overhang much better than anyone else, and she has engineered patches of leaves over the holes in it so everyone could be blessed with dry sleep for the first time in five days. 

Sai treats the leftover poison in Naruto's arm as the blond writes his reports, and he wraps it so tight with bandages and ointment, that the pain turns blissfully warm and cold at the same time as it begins to heal. 

And after that, the pale boy moves over to the fire to open his sketchbook and continue whatever work he has put himself up to.

And Naruto's report read plain and clear.

And he blows the whistle for a bird in the sky to come to his aid.

A falcon comes to him.

And it eyes the smaller-sized scroll in Naruto's hand, but after it notices the important color stamp on it. It opens its beak and swoops off. Knowing that the leaf would reward him with a large rat for his helpfulness. 

Naruto now stands fully and stretches, and by the number of cracks in his back, and smell that wavers off his body. The blond makes a self-disgusted face as he tells Sai that he's going to take a bath.

When he reaches the pond he takes off his clothes and jumps in without any care of someone being there to see him. The water isn't hot in a nice way, but it's refreshing for him. He lays on his back in the water and allows himself to bob at the top, with his ankles flexing down. He can feel the water in his ears, but that doesn't stop the sound of owls hooting in the night. He can hear the hum of crickets as well. He likes it.

It's calming on his nerves.

But he soon forces himself to swim to the shore again, and fill a small bucket with the clear water of the pond, he makes sure to dump out any fish as well.

He now scrubs himself down with soap and rubs shampoo in his hair.

And after he is done, he throws the water into the woods, away from the water, in an effort to stop contamination.

And after this he jumps back into the water, it splashes around him and seems to take him in as he swims.

He laughs suddenly.

He feels so happy.

Why?

Well, he's figured out what's wrong! That's the perfect thing to feel happy about! 

He laughs again about this as he climbs out of the water, rubbing his hair and body dry and pulling on his clothes. 

But when he feels a presence coming close to him, he looks up, suddenly silent and weary.

"Here's your share," Hinata says in a tone where she doesn't seem mad, but somehow she seems mad. Or maybe that's just Naruto. "Kiba made a lot, so eat it all. Shikamaru doesn't want to take long breaks tomorrow."

Naruto nods as he takes the curry and sits himself down.

This is intentional.

His talk with Hinata needs to happen now.

"I'm not mad anymore..." He starts after the purple-haired girl sits herself down, with her head down and her hands rested by her side. "I just wanna know why you kissed me."

She's quiet.

No, she's in thought more.

Like she's forgotten the reason she has planned to give.

"I must have wanted to... see."

"See?" The blond repeats.

She hums. "I wanted to see if... if I never choose to become a powerful shinobi after the war... would it be worth it?"

"What do you mean 'Worth it'?"

"Worth it... to keep going after you. To keep desiring you."

Naruto is silent.

"And maybe also... to make Sasuke jealous..."

"How would that make him jealous?" Naruto asks, now getting lost.

"He hates me Naruto. He's always hated me. Ever since the academy."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure, I always just assumed that it was because I was so blindly in love with you. I always thought of him as jealous of me because all the girls who liked him really only did for his looks. And... I suppose he was jealous because he had never had someone who really purely loved him."

Naruto is a stone.

He is frozen.

He cannot breathe.

"But nevermind Sasuke. You know my place on him now, and I know you'll just get angry if I talk about it again," Hinata says quickly as she stands up. Naruto does too, still zoned out and trying to process the information he has just received. "I kissed you because I was curious. And I found my answer once I did kiss you. Naruto... I don't like you. I apologize for kissing you."

"Huh? Oh uh... yeah I accept your apology..."

"Thank you," She says as she turns back to camp, she clasps her hands over her face to hide the small annoying screams that come out of her now.

_Jealous because she loved me purely?_

_Or was it because she gave me space and attention when I need it?_

_No that doesn't fit!_

He sits down by Sai and begins to chew his rabbit and squirrel curry over rice. 

_He never showed any real dislike for her!_

It doesn't fit!

Why try and make Sasuke jealous?

He isn't even here!

Why?

"Why..."

"Hm? Have you lost your head?" Sai asks pleasantly as he makes a large black stroke over the eyes of his portrait, forming the eyes. 

"No... I'm good."

He is.

In a sense though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there is a god then he would be kind and grant me immunity to eyebrow acne. 
> 
> But considering that I do have said acne in my eyebrows.
> 
> There is no god.
> 
> Also as I'm writing this there are two seniors breeding with one another and I am terrified


	43. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second update!!!!!

Naruto slept terribly last night.

His mind was so full of thoughts.

Thoughts about Hinata's words. Thoughts about Sasuke.

The word jealously still didn't synchronize with him.

No, Sasuke was only jealous when it really really affected him.

Wait no that's not true either!

He had grown jealous of the blond when he had created a bigger hole in the water tower.

But was that more of him just feeling weak.

Was that really jealously?

"Ten minutes on the ground!" Shikamaru yells, which snaps Naruto back to reality fast enough for him to quickly dive down and unscrew his water bottle. "I'm gonna rest my eyes, no need to check the area. We'll only be here for a second."

The blond gulps and chugs his limited water like it's made of diamonds and gold.

But it does little to quench his thirst, so he pulls an apple from his pack instead. It's mushy but food, so he chomps it anyways.

Kiba is panting.

Sai is even showing discomfort.

Hinata is stretching her arms and legs, they're very sore.

And even Shikamaru is wiped out more than normal.

They've been traveling at top speed for four hours now.

And everyone is starting to realize that they might be staying another night in the woods. 

It will have been seven days then.

And Naruto wants home right now. 

He can just tell and know that Sasuke's scared and growing anxious as the end date of his estimated return nears. And since the blond has no communication between him and Kakashi about the raven, he's in the dark like Sasuke. And he hates it. So he pulls a kunai from his back pocket and begins to scrape at the trees, drawing little stick figures on them to keep his mind active. But after a minute of this, he places his kunai back and leaps into the air with his team. 

Suddenly he wishes for the rain to fall as it did during their travel to the village.

Why is it so hot suddenly in the fall?

It will be freezing cold tonight...

So why can't he just he cold now instead of later? 

"Shikamaru!" Hinata calls, as she leaps to the side, to dodge a bird's nest. "I'm going to check where we are! I don't want us to be lost!"

"Good plan! Check!"

Hinata goes silent for a second. 

"We've just passed into our country! But we're not anywhere near the leaf!"

"We still have time! It's only ten in the morning!" Kiba says with a smile, after noticing Hinata's disappointed expression. 

"Yes, but we cannot just head home as soon as we get back home-!"

"Lighten up Sai! We just wanna get home in general!" Shikamaru groans as he rubs his face with discomfort. "I need a re-fill on cigs, and since Naruto was the bug hero of this mission, he'll be the one dropping off the paperwork!"

"Hey! Hey! That ain't fair!" Naruto yells. "Shikamaru your captain!"

"And your gonna be the great Hokage one day, but only when that day comes may you tell me what to do! So just give Kakashi the story and go home! And don't bother me anymore for cigarettes! Buy your own!"

"Asshole!"

"Sticks and stones Naruto!"

Naruto yells but also laughs, which triggers everyone else into laughing until they use up what little energy they have left. Which in term forces the group to rest for a full hour to eat lunch and recover chakra. Their lunch was onigiri and pond water, which tasted almost as good to ickiraku to Naruto, who was so hungry he consumed his own in under a minute. And after that, the blond had to lay back on the grass until his chest stopped feeling like concrete had been poured in it. "Do you want me to give the report?"

"Nah, I'm joking Sai I can do it."

"I see. Do you mind if I sit down?"

"Sure I ain't got a problem..."

Sai rests his head down in the grass. 

"How did you do it?" He asks turning his big black eyes to Naruto's unmoving and tired blue ones. "Get that man to stop I mean..."

"Dunno..." Naruto whispers honestly as his pupils follow a lonely cloud drifting through the blue sky, which strikes the leafless trees with no brilliance or impact at all. The world looks so sad in the autumn... Naruto realizes that now as his chest rises up and down slowly. Like a drum with a rhythm that wasn't unique to its own. "I just saw that we had a connection... and I went for it..."

Sai looks to the sky.

And lifts a pale finger as though to outline the horizon with his one tiny limb.

Like he could own the world if he caught it right.

"I see..." He whispers as the could in the sky leaves the outline that Sai left for him. "You've always been rather good at that..."

____

Naruto falls to his knees and shakes his hand like an ape when he and his team reach the gate of the village hidden in the leaves. 

"Finally!" He cries as he falls to the pavement in exhaustion. 

"Total mission time, six days," Shikamaru sighs as he spits on the sidewalk and begins to play with the lighter in his pocket. "Okay, you guys are off missions for two days. Don't push yourselves, you are all fatigued. Get food and rest. And take a shower, you all stink. 'Thank you for all your help with retrieving the documents. The ninja's of the Anbu thank you.' And now that I'm done saying all the needed things, let's talk battle and places for improvement."

_Oh god, here we go..._

"Hinata! I get that you've changed! But you're not Neji! So stop copying and pasting his skills! Do not be lenient to not use your own jutsu! It's a good one!"

"Thank you, sir!" She says with a bow, and she departs.

"Kiba! Your techniques are less sloppy! And you were a good cover for Hinata when the older brother fired his gusts of wind! But keep it clean! And defend other people too! Now go home!"

"Thank you, sir!"

"Sai! Don't fucking shove people in trash cans after they lose!"

"Thank you, sir!" Sai says, holding back a laugh as he does.

The burnet turns to Naruto.

"You already know what I'm going to say don't you?" Shikamaru asks as he snaps off his lighter and looks at the blond. There is frustration and anger on his face.

"'You can't talk your way out of everything',"

"You know it's true."

"It slipped out."

"Then learn to keep it in!" Shikamaru snaps. "I'm happy it worked this time! But what about next time!? What will happen if you get hurt? Huh? What about your dreams? Your promises? What about Sasuke?"

"I won't do it again!" Naruto yells, his blood boils as Shikamaru brings up Sasuke's name.

"Good!" Shikamaru yells back. "Now get the hell out of here! Go home! I'll give the report!"

"No! You asked me to-!"

"Go home!"

"Why are you-!"

"Go! Home! Or I'll take you off this fucking team!"

Naruto backs away.

And runs.

He has never thought of it as this bad...

Because in truth...

He has never once thought about the consequences of manipulating his enemy.

Or manipulating anyone for that matter.

But he doesn't care as he feels his body speed up towards his apartment.

Because he's home early.

And Sasuke's waiting at home.

For him.

And only him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Italian teacher is sick with covid so she left us in the library and told us to work so I was able to finish this super fast because of the free time!!!
> 
> Maybe two more updates?????
> 
> Idk I have no idea...


	44. Rest By His Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third update!!!! Bitch I'm on fire!!! I've been planning this chapter for so long!!!!
> 
> (▰˘◡˘▰)

Naruto is trying to run.

But his legs can barely keep up with his anticipation.

It's eating away at him like a parasite.

He feels exhilarated and worried at the same time.

What will he do?

What will he look like?

Will he be asleep on his futon?

What can he do then?

Be there for him in the morning?

But that seems like a letdown.

But Naruto slaps himself in the face as he does remind himself that Sasuke needs to rest.

He needs to rest.

And Naruto needs to as well.

But needs to see him first.

Know that he made it through.

Know that his friend is still okay.

He pulls back his floor mat in front of the door and sticks the key from the lock inside the keyhole. And he pushes the door open easily. And the first thing that meets his eyes is his pitch-black apartment. He feels a jolt of anxiety at that. Did the power go out? Did the lights burn out? Not that it really matters of course but... he still feels nervous. But as he flips the switch and pulls off his shoes, the apartment fills with yellow light. And this helps Naruto breathe again as he walks into his living room.

The couch looks a bit ruffled, and there are some water glasses sprinkled around the room.

But Sasuke must have tried to keep the place clean.

Because half the dishes lay done messily in a pile. 

And the other half still lay dirty with the remains of fruits, as well as take out and soy sauce.

But it's not filthy like Naruto used to keep it.

The kitchen table is littered with papers, pens, and many failed attempts of writing.

It must have been Sasuke's entertainment during the long silent days.

His writing is messier than it used to be, but Naruto can still make it out. It's just papers of requests for Kakashi. Labeled with the date at the top and his signature at the bottom. He asks for plastic knives in one, and more shampoo in another. But they all ask for updates on Naruto. Every last one of them.

The blond feels a hurt-filled smile creep upon his face as he sees this.

_He was scared..._

But he nearly drops the papers when he hears a creak.

He almost calls out his name, but he stops himself before he can feel the sting of his stupidity.

Maybe it was just himself on the floorboards...

But despite his self-reassurance, he still makes a fast brisk walk to Sasuke's room, which has the door shut tight.

He swings it open, with his mind still worried sick.

Sasuke is absent from the room.

He goes momentarily insane.

He sprints to the bathroom, and tears back the shower curtain. Sasuke isn't there. He feels his entire body go into panic mode at this as he dashes back to Sasuke's room and rips his futon aside and checks for him under every nook and carny of the place. But the raven is nowhere in sight. His chest heaves up and down as he rushes back into the living room and checks in the most absurd places before the idea of his own room hits him like a bolder of lava.

He nearly falls on his face as he screeches to a halt in front of his door. 

He pushes it open with so much force that he seeming creates a hurricane from the wind blow.

And...

Sasuke is here...

He is curled up in the blankets of Naruto's bed. The largest blanket is covering his shoulders and almost up to his nose. His legs can be seen crossed under the blankets. And he looks almost like a resting kitten in front of a fire. His eyelashes are brushing his cheeks as his body rises and falls with no worry or complication. And his nose is a bit red from the cold. But his eyes are closed and not infected. And he is sleeping without any signs of nightmares.

Because he is sleeping in Naruto's things.

He finds so much comfort in the idea of Naruto's things.

And as the raven moves his arm a bit in his sleep, the headboard creaks a bit. Which was the sound Naruto first heard.

Naruto almost falls down upon seeing him.

So perfectly and peacefully asleep.

Fed and safe.

Unharmed and alive.

"You're okay..." Naruto whispers as he walks over to his bed. Pressing his two fingers on impulse to Sasuke's small little clenched fist. And just like Naruto's impulse, Sasuke acts on his own as well in his sleep. He gently takes Naruto's fingers and brings them close to his chest, close to his heart, which thumps alive and well enough for the blond.

Naruto suddenly feels the fatigue hit him like a truck; he's so exhausted.

Tired to the point that he gently pulls some covers over himself as he rests in front of the raven, who still clutches his fingers like they are life. And after the blond lazily throws the spare blankets around himself. He lifts his arm up just a bit for Sasuke to dreamily reaches his arm around the blond and his shoulder. Still holding to his fingers, he now cuddles against Naruto like a child to its stuffed animals. 

_Must be a romantic dream..._

_Probably some long-haired girl..._

But Naruto doesn't care what Sasuke dreams of, because what his friend experiences in his head is out of his control.

But his life is practically in Naruto's control.

Naruto needs to be Sasuke's eyes, voice, and ears. 

He needs to be there for Sasuke from now on.

Not with past views or a need for answers. 

But because he is his friend.

That's why he wanted to bring Sasuke home.

He remembers that now.

Because Sasuke is his friend.

And Naruto now whispers a promise into Sasuke raven black hair. "I promise to stay. I won't let you be alone ever again... Sasuke. I told you that before. But now I mean it more than my life. I won't leave you ever again. I won't let you lose yourself. But even if you do, as your friend, I will always pull you up from now on. I promise on my life. And whatever may come after that."

Sasuke doesn't hear.

He only presses his face closer to Naruto's beating heart.

And Naruto rests his chin against Sasuke's head.

And smiles.

Because...

Sasuke's okay.

His friend may be hurt and healed.

But he is okay, and that will be enough for a very long time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm gonna stop here because this is such an important chapter!!!!
> 
> I got back from practice today to five notifications in my inbox and I nearly screamed-
> 
> Last update for tonight!!!
> 
> Love you all!!!


	45. Wake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First update for today!!! I woke up to so many comments!! I'm glad that you guys enjoyed last night's chapter!!!!

It's sunny this morning.

And there is an owl hooting through the cold autumn mist.

And Naruto has never slept better in his life.

He doesn't want to move, however, because he's so warm and comfortable in his squishy bed. But even though the same is beautiful, it's stinging his eyes. So he creates a lazy clone with his hands to the best of his ability and commands it to shut the curtains tight. And when the light leaves his eyelids, he huffs and presses his nose into Sasuke's hair.

The scent of the cheap but well-working shampoo is calming in Naruto's nostrils. His arms are still around Sasuke tight, and Sasuke's arms are still around Naruto's waist. His face is still in his chest, and the blond can feel every breath. They are gentle and soft, and they tickle every once in a while. But he doesn't care, because the warmth between him and the raven is like a drug. And he also doesn't want to wake Sasuke from his slumber. 

He has not woken once.

And Naruto wishes for a moment that had in the beginning.

But would he have been brave enough to make that promise with Sasuke awake?

No, probably not.

But a promise is a promise.

He reminds himself of this as Sasuke gives a little stir next to his body, his warm foot brushing against Naruto's.

This makes him laugh.

_Holy shit, when he wakes up he's gonna freak the fuck out!_

He says it sarcastically even in his head. 

Fuck now he's in a dilemma.

Does he move and risk the chance of Sasuke waking up and freaking out?

Or does he remain in this blissful state and not move a muscle more than his heart and lungs...

Until Sasuke wakes up and freaks the fuck out?

_Tricky._

But he isn't even allowed time to decide before he feels eyelashes rub against his shirt, and Sasuke's arms stretch out. He gives a silent yawn and lays for a second. Awake. 

And after this second passes.

Sasuke's hands fly up to touch the body in front of him.

His mouth gapes open as he leaps backward, off the bed. 

Naruto yells out at the impact sound Sasuke makes.

He jumps over his bed and lands in front of Sasuke, who is shaking out of control, and holding his fists up so pitifully that Naruto nearly yells out in anger. 

But he doesn't.

Not at all.

He only quickly presses his two fingers to Sasuke's fist.

The raven retracts his hand, unsure to trust this sign or not. But when Naruto only sighs and presses it again.

The spark goes off in Sasuke's head.

And in a millisecond, Naruto is thrown backward with so much force that his head smacks the mattress hard.

Sasuke's hug around his neck is so tight.

And the blond can feel Sasuke's relief and happiness flooding into him. 

He's not shaking anymore. 

And the blond sees no other option than to hug his friend back, he wraps his arms around his back as he sits up from the mattress and holds the raven like a baby. Feeling the shame once again of leaving him alone for so long hit him. For him to be this concerned and react this much in front of anyone was more than Naruto could ever dream of. But as Sasuke squeezes Naruto even tighter.

And the blond smiles and begins to laugh at this.

Because of how good it feels.

To receive a hug like this.

He's only ever gotten a few like this one.

But this one takes the cake on them all because Naruto is actually not in fear that this hug may be the last one.

He knows from now on he'll receive them all the time.

And he's fine with that.

Because Sasuke is his best friend. 

And he will forever make sure to keep him happy.

Just as he has promised. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I find after writing a really long nice arc the first chapter after it is always hard to write-
> 
> So sorry that is short-
> 
> I'll give you guys another chapter after this!!!
> 
> It might be late tho. Temperatures have dropped to almost below zero where I live. So we might either lose power or it will snow.
> 
> My track practice got canceled it was so bad. 
> 
> So hopefully nothing happens!!!!
> 
> Also please follow me on Instagram!!!! And DM me if you wanna talk!!! I'm gonna start posting art for this fic!! I'll have it in my story highlights!!! So you guys can check that out!!!!
> 
> @alyss_weeb_543
> 
> Or if you guys just wanna see me make a fool out of myself follow me on Twitter-
> 
> @Katie43040338
> 
> My real name is Katie by the way in case you're confused!!!! Lol!!!!
> 
> Okay see you guys soon!!!


	46. Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter for today!!!! I have some paperwork to go over for work!!!!
> 
> It's just bills organization but I need to be focused so!!!!
> 
> Enjoy!!!

Naruto makes his clones cook breakfast.

He's too tired to crack eggs and chop bacon anyways.

Actually, he barely made it to the shower.

But he got there eventually.

He now is resting on the couch with his head tipped back and his hair still slightly wet. 

Sasuke's at the kitchen table by himself. 

_He's probably writing again._

Naruto is happy that Sasuke is writing, he'd rather do something more challenging to himself rather than sleep and do nothing.

And Sasuke must have already thought of this.

Because Naruto's clone has to tap his hand twice to break him from his trance of writing, and when he does notice the smell of eggs in front of him, he quickly clasps his hands together for a short thank you. And as soon as he breaks it, he begins to messily and quickly eat his food. 

"He's really hungry..." The clone says gently to Naruto, who takes his own plate. 

"Okay, then can you make him some more?"

"Sure, more in a big or smaller portion?"

"Try a medium one," The blond says after a second thought. "Also, is he wearing his glass eye?"

"Dunno, I think he's growing his hair out to try and hide it..." The clone responds softly as he glances back over the raven, who is scrapping at his plate now. He is covering his left eye with his left eye, disclosing the movement as nothing more than just resting his head. But Naruto knows that he's embarrassed. Or maybe he's self couches of wearing a piece of glass in his head. However, he isn't closing his right eye. Or wearing glasses over it. Maybe it's because he wants to appear somewhat normal. But that eye is much more half lided now that Naruto looks close at it. And the blond knows as he stands and approaches Sasuke that he will probably never be able to have the strength again to open it fully again. Unless he forces his Sharingan to activate. But Naruto will not allow him to hurt himself like that again.

Too painful to witness. 

He taps Sasuke, and in response, the raven raises his blinded right eye up, really in no direction. 

But he's still trying to act normal.

And Naruto doesn't mind that.

But he does still touch his fingertips to Sasuke's left hand.

**'Covering it?'**

Sasuke nods, and presses against it harder. 

Naruto sits down next to him. 

**'Did Tsunade contact you?"**

He shakes his head. But then adds. **'A scroll was dropped off yesterday, I couldn't read it, but I think it's from her or the hospital.'**

He pushes the scroll on the table around aimlessly, so Naruto quickly helps him find his own hand, to not make him feel stupid, or even more embarrassed. 

Naruto skims the scroll and only looks for the keywords as he does. 

And he finds them quickly.

**'She says the hearing aids will be shipped out tomorrow to her. She wants us back in two days.'**

Sasuke's right eye blinks.

**'Already?'**

Naruto taps his forehead to Sasuke's and nods.

Sasuke rubs the place where they touched with a smile, but then that smile changes into a worried frown. **'When is your next mission? Was the last one a success?'**

**'Yeah, everything went fine. I'm off until tomorrow night, but Kakashi should keep me of duty.'**

_Because Shikamaru probably ratted to him._

_Dick head._

**'Were you hurt?'**

**'Just a few cuts.'**

Sasuke purse his lips.

And removes his left hand from his face as he takes Naruto's hands and begins to write out his message slowly, his fingers quivering a bit as he does. 

**'Did something happen... to you?'**

**'What do you mean?'**

**'You're acting different... it's weird... It's not bad or anything but, it just comes as unnatural...'**

_Fuck me._

Sasuke was always so intelligent. 

**'Nothing happened... I just kinda realized that...'**

He hesitates.

Did he really realize on the trip?

Or has he just known all along and pushed it down?

**'Just don't think of it as weird? Okay? I'm gonna shower!'**

He tries to stand, but Sasuke grabs at his arm. 

**'You haven't mentioned anything about Sakura. How's she doing? Is she still out?'**

Naruto feels a temporary knife burn in his throat as he looks down at Sasuke's worried face. He feels so stupid. 

But he's already entered this game.

So now he must play.

**'She's fine. Her team is doing fine.'**

Sasuke sighs and re-covers his left eye.

Naruto clenches his jaw.

White lying his way out of things won't work forever. Just like his jutsus and power source. 

But coverups for pain work okay.

So he taps Sasuke's hand again and gives him one more coverup.

But in truth it for the blond.

But that doesn't mean he thinks of it as false. 

**'You don't need to hide your eye, Sasuke. It's cool!'**

And he runs himself to the shower before Sasuke can respond.

And he punches the shower walls as his mind re-thinks his lies to his friend.

Sakura is probably crying in heaven now.

And Naruto wishes he could do the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know a lot of people hate Sakura but personally, I love and kin her to the ends of the earth-
> 
> And sometimes I see Sakura haters saying that they hate her for no other reason than the fact that she's annoying-
> 
> Like, do some people genuinely dislike her? Or do you say you hate her because it's been a staple of the fandom for years?
> 
> Think about it I guess...


	47. Pay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First update!!!

It's not cold out today.

So Naruto has busied himself with putting laundry up to dry.

Soon he'll have to travel to the laundry mat and spend money to clean his clothes, but he will milk the power of the wind until it turns to snow.

He's done it for years after all.

But winter looks like it's going to belong this year.

Which makes Naruto groan as he throws and pins one of his t-shirts over the clothing line. He hates the winter sometimes. It's always so costly and long. And when it does look like it's finally left, it comes back again. Which annoys Naruto after three rotations of this.

However, he does like that it means fewer missions, and also less need to do paperwork.

Naruto promises himself now as he picks up the basket of clean dry clothes that he will get a great advisor that will do all his paperwork for him when he becomes the leader of the village. 

But as he enters the apartment again and looks around for Sasuke, he sees the raven heading back to his room, probably for a nap.

He's been writing since their talk at breakfast.

And he seems to be avoiding Naruto and his clones.

But as the blond begins to heat the teapot for lunch, he looks to the ceiling in boredom.

Now he wishes he had a mission instead of just having the free time to do chores. 

But as he pours the now boiling water into his ramen cup, he looks over to the couch and sees how comfortable it looks. 

The pillows are stacked and fluffed neatly.

So he smiles and lounges back on them, slurping his soup with ease.

But after he does finish it, he suddenly sits up remembering something.

_It's payday!_

He leaps from the couch and throws the cup into the sink, and kicks off his house slippers as he runs for his sandals and headband.

How could he have forgotten?

Money is a necessity for him and Sasuke now!

_Fuck! Fuck Fuck!_

He runs to Sasuke's door with a glass of water in his left hand. It spills over the sides and he nearly slips on the puddles after he places the water in Sasuke's room. And as he runs out the door, he thanks whatever good there is that Sasuke is taking a nap. Because it would have just been far more hectic if he had been awake. But as Naruto zooms through the now chilly autumn air he tries to calculate how much he will receive from the bank. He doesn't necessarily remember what rank his previous mission was. But he knows that it will pay something, which leads him to think about food and the needs of his apartment.

They're low on shampoo.

And probably toilet paper too.

And Naruto needs to refill his ramen supplies soon...

But as he passes the shop's roofs and jumps onto the group, jogging towards the larger building, people are laughing and drinking.

Drinking maybe to the hope that winter won't be too bad. 

It makes the blond smile as he enters the building, an hour before it closes. He's happy that these people are together and happy. And not looking at him like he is any different. 

That's always nice to see and say to himself. 

"Name please?" The clerk asks the blond, his voice dull and tired.

"Uzumaki, Naruto." The blond responds as he points to his headband. "I need to collect my mission payments."

"Certainly, the records were just sent in this morning," The man says, his tone now kinder as he bends over and begins to shift through the documents. "Here you are, payment of 90,000 Ryo's, would you like to place some aside?"

"50,000 please, in savings, rest in bill please," Naruto says politely as he does quick calculations in his head.

"Of course, would you mind sitting down? I'll be a moment."

Naruto nods and plops himself down on a couch near the windows. They're cold to the touch, which is odd because the streets outside are so lit up.

He can smell mochi begin made in the shop next door, and after he rests his head on his arm, he feels the smell of pork and noodles hit his nose. And he feels his mouth filled with drool. And the craving for ichiraku hits him like a bolt of lightning as he pockets his money and thanks to the clerk. And as he walks back to his apartment, he feels his mind go back and forth with itself.

_I just got paid! You're supposed to spend money on things you like to feel happier!_

_But... I really need to save up more... especially now that Sasuke's here. And he definitely needs some more clothes..._

_But two or four bowls shouldn't bring me down that much..._

He digs around in his wallet and pulls out a coin.

And flips it three to one.

And he smiles at his luck.

That he definitely did not fiddle with.

He runs now back to his apartment.

Ready to go out.

He's not sure how much Sasuke likes ramen.

But he should like getting some fresh air.

And maybe this will make him feel more trusting.

About Naruto's unexpected change of heart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: I wanna kms
> 
> My bestie: Why?
> 
> Me: I closed out of a chapter and lost everything I was writing
> 
> My bestie: Honestly I would too
> 
> I'm so sorry these chapters are coming out so late at night!!! Schools have been keeping me up because the pandemics starting to get a bit better, so my teachers are giving us more to do. I also have track every day now and I still work on Saturdays so I fairly busy!!! But I always have some free time at night, so that when I work the most on these chapters!!!
> 
> Also thank you for telling me your opinions on Sakura so respectfully!!! Your comments and reasons were interesting to read!!!! 
> 
> What do you guys think about Hinata? 
> 
> Just wanna interact and see some more things from you guys!!!!
> 
> Small little arc right now!!! It's a bit fanservice but it matters to the plot!!! So I hope you guys are happy!!!
> 
> One more chapter after this!!!!


	48. Ramen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter today because I fell asleep writing last night lmao-

Sasuke is holding his fingers tight.

And Naruto feels his pulse even through his thin fingers.

He now wants to real around and take Sasuke home.

He's so scared.

He was scared so of the idea of going out fully in public that he refused to leave his room until Naruto slipped him a hoodie through the crack of his door. And only after that did he agree after fixing his hair over his eyes, and wearing a mask. But even after that, he took hold of Naruto's fingers before they even walked out the door, and he has not removed his palm from them this whole time. Now even to wipe his sweating hands, or to fix his hood and hair. He uses his other hand for that, and he walks behind Naruto. On his right so he is hidden even more. 

Naruto knows that Sasuke is trying to be brave, however.

So he curls his fingers together in Sasuke's hand and continues to walk him forward.

He doesn't want to break his fragile pride now.

Because he's even more scared of that than anything else.

Naruto knows that it's practically taking Sasuke everything he has to even get up in the morning. To sit out for hours. And write endless things. 

But as Naruto turns into the ramen shop, it's thankfully not occupied very much.

He helps Sasuke sit down at the end of the counter.

And he makes sure to sit up straight to draw all the attention to himself rather than the raven, who is now picking at his nails and setting his chopsticks to his right. 

"Well, if it isn't Naruto!" The old man says with a beam.

Naruto grins and makes full eye contact with his practical childhood savior. "Hey Old man, we're starving here!"

"I can see!" He exclaims as he passes the two friend's glasses of tea and water. "The usual for you Naruto?"

"Give me three pork ramens of my pwn this time! And one chicken miso with a side of tomatoes for him, and maybe some buns?"

"Alright, Kiddos! Be right out with it!"

_Kiddos..._

Naruto smiles.

Because it's people like the man who accepts all his customers no matter who they may be that are worth protecting and watching over.

Sasuke doesn't hear that though.

But he must be able to feel the blond's happy and fast-beating heart because he smiles into his glass of tea gently. 

"Alright! Four ramens! Enjoy!"

Naruto gives a small thank you before he taps the top of Sasuke's thumb, and gently, very gently, does he pull his fingers from Sasuke's hands. And the raven doesn't move more than a minute after he feels his hand empty, but he only does again when Naruto pulls at the sleeve of his hood. And after that, he presses the boy's hand to the rim of his bowl. And then, Sasuke nods and begins to eat.

Naruto is one and a half bowls down by the time Sasuke is halfway done with his own.

And the blond finishes all his food plus his dumpling five minutes before Sasuke places down his chopsticks and cups.

Naruto pays with a beam to the old man as he places his fingers on Sasuke's hand again.

And the raven takes his fingers back in half a second. 

And as they walk from the shop, Sasuke is hiding again from the growing crowds.

Naruto sighs at this.

But he won't protest.

However, he doesn't fail to notice how much Sasuke's hand has loosened against his fingers.

He's calmer now that he has food.

So Naruto slows down his pace a bit and lets Sasuke walk by his side, just by the slightest bit. And he holds his breath firm as he waits for Sasuke's response to his actions. 

And it comes as not flinching the slightest bit as Naruto and he continues to walk home. 

The air is so cold now.

But it feels warm.

But the nights not over yet.

Maybe it's 9:15 now...

9:15 on an autumn night. 

Cold.

No...

It's not so cold on his right hand.

Right hand?

No his fingers and hand are warm...

He's holding both of them, isn't he...?

But does Naruto even care...?

No...

No, he doesn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Neighborhood may not be my favorite artist...
> 
> But it gets me in a good fucking writing mode.
> 
> I'll probably tweet that later lmao-
> 
> Anyways I have the ending set in my mind!!!! If you guys would like me to put the archive warnings up now please let me know!!! I personally don't really want to spoil it but I completely understand whether you guys want to or not!!!!!
> 
> Two more chapters!!!


	49. Feminine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter!!!!! I've put up all the archive warnings for this fic!!! Please do not continue to read if you are sensitive to anything you see in the warnings!!!!!

Sasuke is getting easier for Naruto to hold.

Or maybe he's not eating enough...

He can get more snacks if that's the case.

He doesn't mind the spend too much.

It's not like he was ever cautious of spending money in the first place. 

Sasuke's asleep.

Naruto can tell by how slack and quiet his body is.

It's been almost an hour now.

And the blond doesn't want to stand and wake his friend from the peaceful sleep he needs more than anything.

But he knows how Sasuke gets when promises and deals are broken.

So as the ticks of the clock, that Sasuke has hidden so preciously in his room, rise and meet the blonds ears again. He is careful to stand without letting his knees jolt, or his arms quiver with the full weight of the raven in his hands as he makes his way out of the living room. He keeps his footsteps light and calm as he passes by his own room, which will feel dark and lonely tonight. But Naruto knows that it was only a one-time thing, so he keeps moving forward until he pushes open the door of the second room with his hip. And as he walks in, he still keeps his grip on Sasuke's under legs and back tight. Maybe as an involuntary reflex. Or because he fears that he will drop him and shatter him like a plate. But he lets him down slowly, careful to place his head where the pillow remains fluffed the most.

And he lets his legs rest softly down before he begins to pull the covers over them. And only does he start the difficult stuff after he makes sure that Sasuke is warm and wrapped, like a butterfly before it grows wings.

He walks out of the room only briefly to grab two glasses and Sasuke's medicine.

And he starts by, as gently and as slowly as he can, peeling back Sasuke's left eyelid. Brushing his hair out of his face before he does.

And after a second of lifting, Sasuke's glass false eye slides from the raven's head, and the blond places it in a glass full of sterilizing liquid, so it will not infect him in his efforts to be normal looking.

He now titles the raven's head up and presses two pills into his lips, lifting a glass of water to his lips carefully, because he knows the annoyance of sleeping on a wet pillow.

Sasuke's awake, but it's more of a state where the body is awake only to not choke on the pills and water.

But his mind is still asleep and soon his body comes back into the slumber as the blond lays his head on the pillow.

His hair slips in between his fingertips.

The blond finds his eyes falling down on the raven's face as he withdrawals his hand.

His skin is as smooth and as pale as cream, and Naruto doesn't find that bad at all.

His eyelashes are long...

Longer than even Sakura's or Hinata's...

He's smaller than Naruto...

His hands are...

And he's two inches shorter than him...

Maybe due to all the weight, he lost in the hospital...

But he's still handsome...

And something about his pale, but pink tinted lips makes Naruto shiver.

He looks...

Feminine...

No...

He looks...

Quite beautiful...

Naruto feels his stomach clench and his cheeks heat up. 

_Feminine?!_

He tries to stand instantly at this, but he only finds himself unable to move as he watches the raven turn over on his side. Probably having that same dream, of him reaching out for a pretty girl with long hair. His hand is still on the floor, but his fingers seem to reach out. Like they are trying to grasp the hand of the girl in his dream. Naruto sighs at this as he puts aside his mental bear down for later as he bends down and sits down next to the raven once again. Who is still reaching out... trying to grasp hold of _her._

At least he is still dreaming. 

Dreaming of the future and what may come next in his romantic life...

Naruto envies him for a second. 

He hasn't reached for a girl like that...

Not since Hinata... and Sakura...

_He must have already met her... to be reaching like that..._

He sighs as he reaches behind his head, and pulls another pillow from the pile behind himself.

And he places it in the raven's hand.

"Hold onto her..." Naruto whispers as he pats the pillow and stands, shutting the door on his way out as he does.

Not noticing how Sasuke hand did not stop reaching out...

Even after _he_ had left...

_Feminine? Oh my god, there must have been poison in those fucking dumplings!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, end of meaningful but mini-arc!!!!!
> 
> The new painter of the night chapter hits tomorrow so y'all know I'm gonna be analyzing the living hell outta that shit.
> 
> My snake is just vibing on my shoulders as I rant in these notes lol
> 
> Also, we are about to hit 5k and I'm about to start crying because of that-
> 
> Thank you all a million times for sticking with me and this fic-
> 
> I love every single one of you guys and I hope the world throws nothing in your ways because you guys are too fucking sweet for that.
> 
> Maybe another chapter???? I still have some work to do for school and I might fall asleep...
> 
> So...


	50. Metal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First update for today!!!

Tsunade's office smells different.

Like the fresh and early part of the fall.

Naruto's not the biggest fan, but Sasuke doesn't seem to mind it as he fiddles with his nails on the examination table.

Shizune comes in now with her mentor close behind her. Both of them are wearing the same happy smile, and they look very well-rested.

_Must be recovering..._

"It's good to see you two!" Tsunade says with a smile. "Has anything been happening?"

"No, it's been pretty quiet..." Naruto responds. Not lying to say, but he himself is unsure of what answer to give in the first place.

"Well, that's always good," Tsunade says as she gently rests her hand on Sasuke's shoulder, who flinches a little at first, but after a second of remembering where he is. He steadies himself and goes back to his nails. "Okay you two, as you know Sasuke's hearing aids arrived yesterday from the factory, and as you also know, this is not going to take three seconds. This is going to involve a lot of testing and fitting. So no Naruto, you are not going to be leaving for any work today. We need you here, especially since Sasuke is so comforted by you."

"I understand," Naruto says with a nod as Shizune begins to peel back the tape on a blue cardboard box. 

"Alright, can you please tell Sasuke that I'm going to be touching his ears a lot? And could you ask him if he wants you close?"

Naruto nods as he walks over to the raven, and taps his hand for a minute before Sasuke extends his arm and Naruto begins to write. **'Granny wants you to know that she's going to be touching your ears a lot, do you want me to sit with you?'**

Sasuke considers those words as Tsunade titles his head to the side, and begins to wipe his inner ear with an alcohol wipe. 

**'Could I just hold your fingers?'**

Naruto titles his head now.

_Just my fingers?_

**'Sure.'**

_Weirdo..._

"All clear on both ear cavities," Tsunade says as she turns to Shizune, who quickly writes her words down. "No scars or remaining evidence of infection, the hearing assistant will be fine to place in every morning."

"Understood," Shizune responds as she passes her mentor a plastic bag, which sags slightly, and is see-through. Naruto lets his fingers curl accidentally as he looks at the devices. Which are small, and clear on the tube parts, but blackish like Sasuke's hair on the parts that will hook behind his ears. They're even smaller in Tsuande's hands than Naruto could ever expect. 

"Naruto, could you hold this one for me please?" Tsunade asks as she gently tilts Sasuke's head so his right ear faces the sky. Holding the right hearing aid carefully. 

The blond nods as he takes the device into his hands. 

The black metal is cold on his skin, but the entire thing is lighter than a throwing star.

He observes the small battery port in the metal earpieces, and he turns the plastic around slightly to see the small wires running through it. _They must connect to the speaker in the metal..._ The blond thinks as he closes his hand slightly around the little piece of metal. Will this tiny thing really help Sasuke? Will it make him hear the world again? Maybe not fully... but enough to be normal enough again.

Tsunade takes the aid from Naruto as he thinks this.

And as she slips it into Sasuke's ear and tucks the metal behind his ear.

Sasuke's grip tightens with anticipation...

Is he scared?

Or excited?

Naruto is struggling to tell...

"Alright," Tsunade says calmly as she tucks Sasuke's hair over his ears slightly. "That's how they're gonna feel! Naruto, can you ask him if they feel okay?"

**'Everything good?'**

Sasuke nods in response. 

"Okay, now there's a power switch on both of them, but you'll only need to flip one on to power them both up!" Tsunade explains as she pulls Sasuke's hair back again to show the small switches on the metal plates. "Sasuke will need to change the batteries in both hearing aids every 12 days, and I would recommend always carrying spare batteries with you. No exceptions."

Naruto writes that down on Sasuke's arm as fast as he can.

Sasuke takes the information down into pieces.

"Okay, I'll explain the rest once we adjust the volume for Sasuke," Tsunade says as she walks forward to Sasuke's right side. "Naruto... could you please let him know what I'm about to do. It's going to be startling."

"Yeah of course," Naruto whispers quickly, as he raises his finger to Sasuke's arm.

Maybe even for the last time...

**'She's gonna turn them on Sasuke, are you ready?'**

His grip turns to iron.

Now the blond knows he's scared.

But before he opens his mouth.

Sasuke's grip goes loose.

And he writes back.

**'Ready.'**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to take my off day yesterday because I just had a really shitty day-
> 
> I was crazy tired and sore from practice and then my dad dragged me up to another fucking state-
> 
> But I'm better now so hopefully two more updates today!!!!! My dad's going away with my little sister for a few days too so I can spend a lot more time with my mom. She likes to encourage my writing so I'll be able to write more with her!!!!
> 
> Anyways!!!! I'm sorry to everyone who doesn't want to keep reading this story because of the warnings I just put up!!!! I would love to say that this fic will end in rainbows and sunshine-
> 
> But honestly, I myself as a writer am not capable of seeing things like romance and love end happily-
> 
> I am a raging pessimist and I've been hurt in relationships and because of love so much that I see it only now as something that isn't real, or even if it is real. It's a struggle to keep.
> 
> Yes, I'm depressed, and what of it?
> 
> Anyways!!! For anyone who's chosen to stay because they like self-torture!!!
> 
> Strap in mother fuckers...?


	51. Laughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second update!!!!

Sasuke's first reaction to sound was to jump and hold tight to his ears.

"Shit! Shizune! Too loud!" Tsunade yells, which only makes Sasuke clutch his ears tighter. "Fuck!"

"Granny don't yell!"

"Sasuke! Please! You're going to have to let me see your ears!"

This went on for five minutes.

But now Naruto is holding Sasuke like a child as Shizune is clicking the nobs on the back of the metal. Sasuke beyond scared now, but Naruto's not even sure if that's the right word. He shook. And surprised in a bad way. _Those are the same fucking thing,_ he reminds himself as he feels Sasuke's heart hammering against his. He's more than shaken. Maybe he's disappointed as well. The first thing he's heard for real is just Naruto's muffled and screaming voice to him. 

Naruto is disappointed as well.

In himself mainly.

He got too excited. 

And Sasuke's suffered because of that.

He feels his heart constrict against the beat of Sasuke's.

And he feels the raven press his face harder into his shoulder at that feeling.

"Okay, I've lowered the intake volume, I'm going to turn it on now, Naruto, try and speak medium, but you need to enunciate a lot!" Shizune says as she pats the blond on the shoulder and turns back to Sasuke. "Could you?"

**'Are you okay?'**

Naruto feels that this is more important to be asked first.

Sasuke responds by another press into Naruto's neck.

**'Shizune's set the volume lower, do you want to try again?'**

Sasuke doesn't respond for a minute or three.

**'We can do this tomorrow Sasuke, you don't have to do this.'**

He can feel Sasuke's eyelashes brush against his skin.

But as he expects a shake of Sasuke's head.

He receives a nod instead.

He purses his lips.

Now he's the one scared shitless.

**'You sure?'**

Sasuke nods again, and he places his chin on Naruto's shoulder. Maybe to show that he is still brave, or maybe that he is uncaring about the pain anymore. 

"He's all set."

"Switching on now."

He hears the click.

And he doesn't remember how to even speak.

But as he feels Sasuke's breathing speed upon his shoulder. He speaks the words, that he wasn't assigned to say. But the ones he has created on his own. "Stop using up all my fucking shampoo. Seriously, I have to go buy that shit every fucking three days now. What the hell could you possibly be doing to that much shampoo? Are you like..."

Sasuke has started to rise up and down.

He is...

Laughing.

Laughing.

Without any sound of course...

But his right eye is tearing up as he sits up and wipes it. Still letting his chest rise and fall, and his breath come out horse and full of air.

Shizune and Tsunade are laughing as well, but Shizune is tearing up slightly because she set everything right. 

But Naruto is silent as he continues to stare at Sasuke.

He's really heard him.

He can hear.

Naruto can still hear his laughter.

Silent but sweet happy laughter.

It's nice to see...

See...

Sasuke can't see his face right now.

How unfair.

It's so fucking unfair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, last update for tonight!!!! Good place I end on I think!!!!!
> 
> The AOT manga fucking updated-
> 
> Don't hmu I'm actually done with this world-
> 
> And you guys think this is sad-


	52. Sense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only this chapter today!!!!!

Naruto doesn't understand why he feels the way he does.

It's frustrating.

And also making his head pound.

Sasuke however looks to be completely sure of how he is feeling.

Because he's snapped three times a minute and making sure to count the snaps he hears with his fingers.

He must be fascinated.

And it must be the intuition of a young and curious child that is making him act like this. 

But he hasn't heard anything outside of a booth and a fox's voice in maybe three months now...

So Naruto finds himself casting aside his worries for a laugh. 

Sasuke turns at this.

"Nothing!" Naruto says to him, it feels good to speak. Speak without fearing that you have to take another step or process to understand. "Just laughing."

Sasuke obviously doesn't respond, but he nods and continues to go back to snapping and recording.

Now he needs to think.

Think about what is going to happen now. Now with this improvement, what comes next? Communication lessons? What would he use though? Naruto doesn't know. But he does know that it will become necessary. Because as he had carried Sasuke home in his arms, he had tried with all his willpower not to scream. 

Tsunade had let him know again.

That _they_ will only see Sasuke as more dangerous now.

It's total horse shit.

In Naruto's stubborn and baised mind.

_Is it so fucking hard to believe that people can act on the things that have hurt them...?_

The council is weak in Naruto's mind. Just a bunch of old geezers with too much up their own asses to understand that people suffer because they wish to stay in power. Kakashi doesn't even need them. He's smart enough with half of his brain to know half the things that leave their mouths are nothing but stale and conservative views. But that's why they still hold any power because they reflect on the old ways. And they know that many people find infinite comfort in those old ways. They use fear to their advantage just like every other fucked up person in power. 

Maybe that's why they hate Kakashi and Tsunade.

Because they believe in change.

And they believe that Sasuke has changed.

He has changed!

Naruto nods his head as he thinks of this. And his chin accidentally brushes the top of the raven's hair as he does. This makes Sasuke lift his head up from the blond's chest, and he shows confusion in the simplest way possible. 

"The elders... just thinking about them..." Naruto explains, not really caring whether Sasuke is listening or not.

But he is because he nods, and clenches his fist against the blond's t-shirt.

"I know... all a bunch of old fucking assholes..."

Sasuke nods again, and Naruto raises his arm from his side and covers his face with it gently.

Sasuke's body against his is still rather light...

"Have you been eating okay?" Naruto asks, his concern getting the best of him. 

Sasuke nods, slowly.

"Do you want me to make you anything after this? Or are you just gonna go to sleep?"

_Stop talking to him like he can just open his mouth and respond!_

_You're probably making him feel stupid!_

"Sorry... I'm probably making you feel bad..."

Sasuke quickly shakes his head.

And he takes his arm into his hands, still resting his head on the blond's chest with care and stillness. 

**'I like hearing you talk... keep going... it's okay.'**

Naruto laughs at this.

"Okay, you've gotten so fucking weird!" Naruto laughs as he covers his eyes more. Laughing fully for reasons he doesn't even know. Maybe he's stressed. No, he's just confused. Confused so much that he is laughing. And spouting complete nonsense from his lips. "L-Like! I swear you've become a stopwatch or something! Like how the hell are you perfectly counting the fucking seconds for these hours? Like I know your patient and solo like that! B-But oh my god! That sounds like some sort of horror-smut book that Kakashi reads after he sees Guy-Sensei! Oh my god Sasuke! It's like actually creepy!"

Sasuke laughs every now and again as Naruto continues to ramble like a complete idiot.

But he likes to listen to the blond's unfunny and stupid words.

He likes to hear Naruto's thumping heart with his left ear, not like he is counting, but like he is hearing.

And he loves hearing his voice.

Just like he used to every day before everything went wrong. 

He snuggles himself closer to the blond as he thinks of those things. 

_Thump... thump... thump..._

It's so very nice to hear...

Hear and hope...

And even...

Laugh...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This weekend just fucking sucked in general for me...
> 
> I got in a shit ton of fights with my parents and little sister. And I was struggling to eat and even get out of bed. I actually think it's a fucking miracle that I was able to push out these chapters. I was too lazy and too tired to even drink water yesterday...
> 
> But I guess I pulled through...
> 
> I put on Naruto on my way home today and just watched Sasuke and Naruto be young and stupid...
> 
> So that really helped me write this chapter.
> 
> We're going into a new arc tomorrow!!! And yes it will involve a character that doesn't get any fucking love in the series!!!! So this should be fun!!
> 
> Goodnight guys!!


	53. Unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First update!!!!

Naruto opens his eyes before he is even fully awake.

And he can't see for a minute.

But his eyes adjust and he hears nothing but the wind against his thin windows. 

It's whooshing and whistling.

And it's slightly annoying.

But it's not annoying enough to make Naruto move his position in bed to cover his ears with his pillow.

So he focuses his attention on what he can make out from his floor. It's covered in t-shirts that need to be washed, and underwear as well. There are also sticks of deodorant that have fallen off his desk, and he can smell something like dust on his rug even from his unwashed bed. And he knows that there are candy wrappers under his bed. Maybe he needs to get up now and clean up a bit.

But he's too tired...

He stayed up late last night after Sasuke had left him for rest.

He had practically spoken to himself and the raven for an hour non-stop anyways...

But then he had busied himself with hunting around town convenience stores for cigarettes. Because Shikamaru was no longer willing to be his free source.

_Because his heart is as spiky and as cold as his weird-ass fucking hair..._

But when he did find the store that sold the drugs, he only found himself held up in shaking the hands of the owner.

He thanked him six times and insisted on giving a discount because Naruto had defended his niece in Pain's attack on the leaf.

But the blond had denied the offer and had insisted he pay full price.

And now he can smell the butts of the cigarettes even through his last night's brushed teeth.

Why now is he smoking again?

_Oh yeah because alcohol sucks ass..._

_No that's not a good reason..._

But he doesn't give a damn about reasons anymore.

He confirmed that last night when he sat outside and smoked half a pack.

Reasons didn't matter anymore, because time was not going to stop for him to find the reasons for this whole mess. He is never going to find out why Sasuke is acting the way he is. And he is never gonna get a full or real answer for why the whole village is against Sasuke. Because that kind of knowledge requires a fight to figure out. And Naruto doesn't want any more fights. 

He just wants to become of age and continue to fulfill his promise to Sakura.

And maybe get a girlfriend... or maybe another friend...

And now he hears a disturbance.

And he sits up immediately at the idea of being able to leave his crowded headspace for a minute or two.

He pulls on a shirt and a pair of shorts as he continues to hear the knocks at the door, and he is in the hallway before the knocks become desperate and fast. 

"I'm coming!" He calls as he ruffles his hair. "Jeez!"

He comes to the door and unlocks it.

And he sees a most unexpected face.

"Ino?"

"Hi..." She whispers. Her head is hung and her hair looks clean but at the same time not. She's more tan than the last time Naruto saw her. And her baby-blue eyes are dull not unlike his own. And her voice is more down than the last time he heard her speak... if you don't count sobbing. But she is wearing her normal outfit of purple and fishnet undershirts. As though to disguise the thought that she might be horribly handling the death of her father... and her best friend as well. Or lover... maybe that's a thing he'll never know either... "Can I come in?"

"Uh, sure, do you want some coffee?"

"Just to talk," She says, her voice missing any hints of hate or annoyance that Naruto has braced himself to hear. "I have to report back to Kakashi anyways, and I have a shift at the hospital so I'll be quick."

"Okay..." Naruto whispers as he holds open the door for her, and she nods and walks in, her light gold hair following behind her. And she sits down on the couch, and Naruto plops down beside her. He's unsure of what to say exactly, so he starts with the basic greeting. "How are you doing?"

Her response is slow but quick. "I'm alright, it's been hard for everyone. I've been trying to visit Hinata and Lady Tsunade. But they've all been busy, and Kakashi-sensei has been too."

"I get it..." Naruto responds, knowing that her cut short response is nothing more than a defense mechanism for her grief, so he doesn't pry.

"How are you? I heard about your last mission... I'm glad it went well."

"Thanks, you look tan, have you been traveling to the sand?"

"Here and there. I wanted to give them some more supplies for medicine crafting."

"That's good..." The blond says awkwardly. 

"Sorry, I should have come later."

"Hm? Oh no, it's fine, I was awake and Sasuke's just..."

Her expression has no change other than a sad spark appearing in her eyes. 

"He's still sleeping... are you here to see him?"

"Well..." Ino breathes. Clenching her fists as she does. "I... I'm here to try and do something."

"Do something?"

"I haven't been doing anything since the war... and well... I've been grieving for... my father and Sakura so much that I..."

She turns her head to wipe the hair from her face. Which is another defense mechanism.

"I want to help you two!"

"We don't really..." Naruto tries to say but he fades off knowing that whatever he is about to say is a lie. "Help with what?"

"Sasuke's communication with you. And the elders. I heard about what they're saying! I want to help him be able to tell them that he's better now!"

"Wait! How?"

"Sign language..." She whispers, taking Naruto's hand as she does, the color returning and leaving her face as it does. "Me and Sakura... learned it one summer together... and I...

I just wanna do something for the two of you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here's an actually good chapter that I'm proud of!!!!!!! 
> 
> I'll probably give two more updates after this!!!! Homework is kinda light today and there are no major quizzes for me to study for!!!! So lots of time!!!!!!
> 
> See you guys again in a couple of hours!!!!


	54. Accept

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter!!!!

"What?!"

"Yeah... and that's why I came..." She finishes as she twiddles her thumbs in embarrassment. Or not an embarrassment, but worry instead. 

"Yeah but... why? You're not really giving me a real reason!"

"There um, is no real reason... I just wanna do it."

Naruto freezes.

_One of these fucking tests again huh?_

Test, maybe. Not sure. But this time the test is like a grade that won't even make a jolt in the average. Or will it?

He's not sure as he stares into Ino's light blue eyes, which shine with the reflection of purely just wanting to help. But Naruto's not so sure what it will even bring if she does try and help. Will Sasuke be able to learn? How long will it take? And even if he does learn, which now that Naruto thinks, he probably will be able to... what about himself? How long will it take him? To learn this sign language... And even if he manages to completely learn and master it. Will this really help in the long run? Will this save the raven's head? Or will it make the council make up another false and stupid allegation against him, just to kick him down further?

"Naruto... I need to say this..." Ino whispers, she leans in, her long ponytail falls over her shoulder as she does. "I was dropping off papers at The Hokage's mansion. And I was passing by Kakashi-Sensei's room, and um, they were shouting at him."

His brow furrows instantly.

"Who?"

"Two people, they sounded old, and I was able to listen in for only a little bit, I wasn't sure how Kakashi would react to my jutsu, and I know he sensed me using it! But he let me!"

Naruto is confused. "Why the hell would he be allowing you to listen in on private meetings?"

"Because the entire village's council just got wind of Sasuke's hearing returning! And they went on and on about how this could lead to the destruction of the village! They said as long as he stays silent, they won't even let him leave your house outside of doctor's appointments!" She explains, her voice is fierce like a snake bite. "They think that he's plotting destruction! And they think they're first in his surprise revenge attack! And they even said stuff about you! And how you weren't fit to have him in your home! Because your his friend and you have always sided with him!"

Naruto can feel the blood in his face now.

Maybe he shouldn't have denied immediate promotion to Hokage.

Because if he hadn't these old geezers would respectfully be dying in nursing homes where their old and one-sided minds belong.

"So what the hell do they fucking expect?!" Naruto snaps out, not really to Ino but more to the world itself. "For Sasuke, who can't fucking speak! To promise his innocence and just... just... leave..."

"Don't say that."

"That's all they want anyway..."

"Well that's why I'm offering my help," Ino says, exasperated as she rubs her eyes and tries not to sigh. "So the elders can learn to shut their traps, and so Sasuke can get better."

Naruto can see that's half of it.

And he lets his thoughts on the matter slip accidentally.

"You're doing it for her too," He whispers. "For Sakura. Aren't you?"

Ino's cheeks flush with her eyes.

"Yeah..." She whispers. Now he's pushed the button. 

"Sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up."

"N-No it's fine..." She says, clearly lying as she daps her eyes. "I knew you would have noticed that part too."

"Then you probably know why he's here in the first place then..."

"Well, I've also been telling myself that it's because, as you used to say, you guys are friends."

"We are."

"Then let me help you!"

"Hey! I never said no!"

"Wait... really?" Ino cries happily as she pulls Naruto's hand into her own. "You accept?"

Naruto sees no other option really. "Sure but... on one condition."

Ino's smile falls a bit.

Naruto inhales preparing himself for the worst after his statement. "Sasuke cannot know about Sakura, Ino. Under no conditions can you tell him whats happened. I don't care what happens, don't ever let him know. Just please tell him she's on a mission or something. I... I can't... I can't let him know that I've lied to him. And that I questioned him and... and you probably already know the rest of what I'm going to say."

Ino's eyes turn away from his.

"You know how fucking hard that is for me to hear right?" 

"Of course I do... even if I'm in the dark about you two I can fucking tell."

She nods.

And stands.

"I promise not to tell him. But under the condition of this. You have to promise me that you will tell him at some point. Because if even if you manage not to, then I won't allow it anymore. Because Naruto, he cares about her too. It isn't just me... or you."

"I hear you..." Naruto whispers, lying through his teeth.

"I'll be back at six tonight," Ino whispers, as she walks back to his door, the blond follows ten steps behind her. "See you then..."

"See you... " Naruto whispers, as she walks out the door. 

_Fuck me... I just failed the test so fucking hard..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My cat is so fat-
> 
> Last chapter for tonight!!!!!
> 
> Kinda slow-paced but more information!!!
> 
> If you guys can't tell I'm starting to develop an antagonist... outside of Naruto and his own mind of course...


	55. Inform

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First update for today!!!!!

Sasuke cooking is either burnt on one side or raw on the other. 

Not as if Naruto can do any better, but still.

But he continues to munch on eggs as Sasuke sits on the couch, drinking watered-down tea, which he enjoys for reasons Naruto doesn't even want to think about. 

But the living room windows open.

And the air is cold and moist.

And birds are traveling across the sky, maybe to their winter homes, but they are leaving in flamboyant style. And Naruto almost envies them, for always looking graceful and beautiful as they run for the hills. The life of the bird seems to be good to Naruto. Because unless they are shot down, they can travel wherever they want. A free life with no action consequence. 

_Not bad..._

_No focus!_

He knows he's not a bird!

"Sasuke..."

He looks up from his glass, not really looking actually.

"Do you... want some better tea?"

He shakes his head.

Naruto throws his head back now. 

He's so hopeless in the mornings.

But he needs to explain to Sasuke what's happening.

Because Ino's set on her decision now, and nothing will change her mind from helping Sasuke. 

"... Ino stopped by this morning..." Naruto says, not lifting his head from the couch. 

He hears Sasuke's body shift on the couch. 

"She um... she heard about your hearing aids..."

Naruto can hear Sasuke's hair swish in the silence as he nods. 

"And she wants to help you."

Naruto's eyes look over to Sasuke. He wears a puzzled impression on his face. 

"She said that she could teach you sign language," Naruto finishes, his eyes refusing to move away from Sasuke's face. But Sasuke's face goes neutral as he begins to think over the words that his friend has said. He looks surprised and also flushed. "And um, well, I probably should have woken you up but... she's coming over tonight later, so I thought I'd just tell you why."

Now he blinks.

But he nods.

And stands and walks over to Naruto, a bit loosely, but Naruto stands quickly, to find him halfway across the room.

**'And you?'**

"What about me? Oh, you mean me learning?"

Sasuke nods at this, and he smiles a bit as well. 

Maybe because he can hear the words, and maybe because it feels like a real conversation. 

"I'm not sure, I guess it depends on you."

Sasuke's expression flatters but doesn't go bad.

**'Okay... well... I'm gonna rest for a bit then... I'll be up before she comes back though so don't worry!'**

And he runs back to his room.

With the pink on his cheeks.

Embarrassed now...

But why?

Because his skills depend on whether or not this plan will work? It seems almost too difficult now. Actually no, unfair. Unfair because now he's gonna throw himself into the work. Like they both tend to do actually, maybe it's a habit of begin orphans and having nothing to fucking do. Or a habit developed when nothing was ever fucking handed to you. But Naruto doesn't like the habit. 

Actually, he's always hated it.

But others call it willpower. 

And normally, Naruto does too. 

But if Sasuke goes too far.

He'll call itself put through hell.

And nothing less than that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> According to Burger King, I belong in the kitchen, however, I am writing this at school... 
> 
> So terminally I'm breaking the laws of Burger King for you guys... (0- 0)
> 
> Only one chapter today because it's fucking Tuesday, aka the worst day of the fucking week.


	56. Matter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First update for today!!!!! (⊙…⊙ )

Naruto's been shut out.

With a book to read.

He hates reading.

"Fuck!" He yells as he throws his head back. And throws the book as well. 

Why was he kicked from being with Sasuke and Ino again? Oh yeah because Ino called him a distraction to Sasuke's learning. Rude. Not that she's wrong about it of course but...

He's still offended.

"Naruto! Be quiet!"

_You be quiet..._

He's childish and he knows it. But he's also filled with anticipation as he waits and feels the minutes tick by. But after maybe thirty more passes, and Ino's voice to pass through the door, muffled and inaudible. Naruto groans and just picks up the book again and flips page by page to slow down the time. But he finds the same page he was last on quickly. And he sighs realizing that he hasn't even attempted to read the book.

Considering he's only on page five.

_'The number one problem for most people who try and immerse themselves in the art of sign language,' Art? What the hell? 'Is the haunting factor of confusion as well as lack of motivation. However, one must stop and remind themselves as much as one can to keep on pushing! Everyone's reasons for learning this wonderful language are completely personal of course. But many people learn to help the handy capt, and whoever they may please. It's an important thing! You should really congratulate yourself for deciding to learn! Props to you!'_

Naruto's laughter is painful against his ribs.

It's so ridiculous, what people say to congratulate one another. 

Props to him? For what? Deciding to learn some hand signs?

It's no different than forming jutsu's really...

Actually, as he flips through the book, laughing occasionally at the stupid side notes it gives, he thinks of this as completely easy.

Of course, it's not like he's the best jutsu former in the village. That would maybe be Kakashi, or maybe someone else he hasn't spoken to since the war. 

The greetings are easy enough for him to understand, and he can learn fast if it really matters.

Which it does of course.

Because it's to help Sasuke.

And helping people is important. 

So why is he so impatient?

And why does he feel angry?

Is he even really angry?

_'Your efforts are an important champ! They matter!'_

Matter...

His efforts matter...

He's telling himself this over and over again... so why isn't it resonating?

It has to matter. 

Because if it isn't...

 _ **'You're wasting your time.'**_ His red side whispers. 

_Why so loud...?_

**_'You're not wasting your time!'_** His blue side insists. _**'This will help Sasuke! And you know it!'**_

_Why so quiet?_

**_'But what if it doesn't matter at all? What if Granny performs another miracle on his voice? Then what? It will all be a waste...'_ **

**_'Don't listen to them! They can't predict anything like that! And this will impact Sasuke! This will make him happy!'_ **

_Shut up... I'm trying to read..._

_**'Read what? You should be training, you want to become Hokage right? Not a linguist.'  
** _

**_'Why are you bringing up that? This has nothing to do with being Hokage!'_ **

**_'He's wasting his time and he knows it! That has everything to do with being Hokage!'_ **

**_'...'_ **

"I'm not wasting my fucking time," Naruto growls as he turns a page in the book, nearly ripping it in half as he does. "You two are. With all your fucking talk."

 _ **'He would have never done the same for you...'**_ His red side taunts after he turns over the third page. _**'And you know that too.'**_

Naruto throws the book across the room. 

Breathing so heavily that he is sure the elephant in the room can hear him from the other room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone just really hate the month of march? And how long it is?
> 
> I fucking do. 
> 
> One more chapter after this!! I have to do a bio lab and flip a coin two hundred times, so that's probably gonna take an hour or two...
> 
> So see you guys then!


	57. Nerd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk when I'm even putting this up...

Their position is rather lazy at the moment. 

"My fucking fingers need surgery..." Naruto groans out as he feels the sensation of one hitting their joints as he tries to bend his left middle finger to the air. "Fuck Ino, and whoever the hell invented sign language."

Sasuke gives a small breathy wheeze, or laugh. 

"Laugh all you want, you have it easy."

Sasuke laughs again.

"I only got down hello and goodbye, and thanks. What about you?"

Sasuke moves his face up from Naruto's chest and moves his hands slowly. **'No, not much.'**

"Well, at least the alphabet is simplified..." Naruto groans as he throws his head back onto the couch's armrest. "But I just guessing but, you said you didn't learn much right?"

Sasuke closes his fist once and then sticks up his pinky. **'Yes.'**

"Ugh..." Naruto groans. "Do you want me to make some dinner after this?"

 **'No. I ate a little bit ago.'** He signs the first part, but he writes the second part on Naruto's arm. And this is easier for Naruto to understand, and pick up. But it feels wasteful in a way. But he just murmurs a small 'Okay' into Sasuke's ear. Which is red at the tip, but just below that, Naruto can see the black metal on the back of his ear. And it distracts him for a moment.

Noticeable for a moment.

But it feels normal.

Just another part of him. 

A part that shouldn't be there. 

Just like his horrible taste in vegetables and fragile ego.

He has to accept them of course.

That's the humanly and friend-like thing to do.

Actually hasn't he already accepted them?

Yeah, he has.

Or maybe he did... in the heat of the moment?

A reaction to the desperation he once held to accomplish his tasks, his promises, his goals. 

Not a bad reaction considering he accomplished his goals. 

Sasuke's breathing is soft.

His mind is drifting, to what his red side had said to him only a few minutes ago. _**'He would have never done the same for you...'**_

_Is that true? Or is my own mind just fucking screwing with me?_

Hard to say.

But it feels like the answer to the math question that he didn't want to fill in. 

He won't consider it true. No, Sakura would probably re-incarnate herself as a wasp and string the shit out of him if he did. 

"The clock..." Naruto says. It makes Sasuke lift up his head slightly. "How did you, um, how did you know how much an hour was?"

Sasuke gives another one of his wheezy laughs at this. 

And alternates as he says, **'I counted. Stupid.'**

Naruto throws his head back so hard that he feels the place where his lump will be tomorrow purely from the pulse. 

"Fucking nerd."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If y'all weren't aware I kinda died on Wednesday and today as well...
> 
> the third quarter for my school is ending so final projects and papers are due and I procrastinated way too much... I also made the stupid fucking decision to enter an animation contest. And my bestie has to help Me with my art project because I too fucking tired to pick up a pen. I also did a lot of character drawing out for this fic and I also had to research a lot of sign language so I can keep this as accurate as possible
> 
> I also started to do some calculations on the number of chapters left... hold on let me just quickly finish up...
> 
> Maybe 50+??????
> 
> Idk so if I manage to get my act together we might finish this before my birthday which is at the end of April... but some of the upcoming chapters will be over 40k words so... maybe may????? 
> 
> This calculation is also excluding my life as an athlete and as a person...
> 
> THIS IS NOT TO GUILT TRIP U GUYS!!!!!!! 
> 
> I JUST REALLY LIKE RANTING IN THE END NOTES!!!!!


	58. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First update!!!!!!!!

The eggs in the market are smaller today than last time.

"Somethings probably wrong with the chicken's asshole..." Naruto whispers as he places the carton of eggs with the largest shells under his arms as he avoids a slap on the back of the head from Shikamaru. "Take a joke, you fucking tattle tale."

"If you didn't want to shop with me then why did you come to my door? You made me get up. Do you understand that I get no fucking sleep nowadays?"

"Sounds like your problem."

"Why'd you even drag me here? I thought we were supposed to be giving each other the cold shoulder?"

"I'm sick of that. Besides I'm sick of going out of by cigs, it's a pain, and you're better at picking ones."

"I always chose the same brand dipshit. Can you just answer the question?"

"Okay, fine," Naruto groans as he turns on his heel and holds his hands up in defense, only to let the eggs drop and splatter all over the floor. "...In a minute."

"You can clean that up," Shikamaru sighs.

And after he does, he turns back to Shikamaru. "I want this to end because I need your help."

"Help? With what? And please say training, because I don't want to deal with your emotional bullshit right now."

"You care."

"I don't dip-shit."

"You do because you didn't say no right away."

"Give me your reason for your request and I will decide."

"...Do you think he would do the same?"

"Same? Who? Kiba?"

"Uh, no? Sasuke!"

"Same what?"

"Ugh!" Naruto groans as he pulls another carton of eggs from the fridge, this one has smaller eggs. "You know! Do you think he would, you know, take me in if I was injured like him? Or would he..."

"No don't do that. Don't ask yourself stupid questions like that. You'll drive yourself crazy and then your gonna take it out on him, and then you'll go even more fucking crazy. So don't ask me crap like that. Got it?"

"Yeah sure..." Naruto sighs, passing his money to the clerk and taking the eggs back even quicker. "I won't."

"Lair, you're gonna think about it as soon as you get home."

"I can't help it. It's been on my mind too much, and it's not wrong to want an answer."

Shikamaru closes his eyes as the two of them walk from the store's door. 

"You don't need to answer every question you think of, Naruto. That's a move that gets you nothing except anger and frustration."

"Why?" Naruto asks as he digs into his friend's pocket for the rectangle pack he's been craving for. "Why can't I answer my questions?"

"Because your smart enough to know that you'll never be happy even if you do."

"But what if the answers good?"

"No question like that will ever have a good fucking answer. And your not that stupid to not know that too."

"So you've already answered the question?"

"Of course I have, and you have too, haven't you?"

Naruto looks at the grey sky, it's so cold now that it's autumn.

So cold.

 _His_ eyes are cold.

"I answered it from day fucking one."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The only thing that is more fucked than my right foot is the fact that my fyp has been covered with that video of the girl putting her own fucking dirty ass tampon on her poster of Bakugo.
> 
> That is a hate crime.
> 
> Do you know what else is a hate crime? When your melatonin stops working.
> 
> As someone who is Jewish, to me, that is Hitler's mustache.
> 
> What else is a hate crime...
> 
> The fact that apple music doesn't have the fucked up Vocaloid songs-
> 
> Oh my christ don't even get me started on that-
> 
> Anyways!!!! Enough about hate crimes...


	59. Fish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last update!!!!!

"I'm guessing you learned a lot today..." 

**'A bit.'**

"Well it's only been two weeks, what can you do?"

**'Try. I guess.'**

"That's a good analogy..."

**'You know what I'm saying?'**

"I can still read."

Sasuke responds but nuzzeling his chest.

"We should get a goldfish."

Sasuke laughs and then signs; **'Why?'**

"Because I want a fish."

**'I want a cat.'**

"Cats are annoying."

**'You're annoying.'**

"Yeah but I pay for you, and a cat will only take my money and skin cells."

**'A fish takes your money too.'**

"Wait... could you do that one again?"

**'A fish takes your money too.'**

"'A fish also takes my money'?"

**'Yeah.'**

"Whatever... it was just a thought..."

**'Is it snowing yet?'**

"No, it's surprising."

**'You smell bad.'**

"So does your fucking attitude."

**'Cigarettes, why are you smoking?'**

"I like smoking. It makes your chest feel nice."

**'It will kill you.'**

"Your so dramatic."

**'Says you.'**

"Your lucky I gave you an hour, you fucking dick."

**'Thank you.'**

He's wearing newer clothes. And his hair is shorter now, and more maintained now that Naruto can give him the sound cues on where to slice his bangs and tips. And his eye socket has gotten used to it, wearing the glass eye that is. It no longer goes puffy after the first ten minutes, and his other eye is more adjusted to swerving with no real purpose. But Naruto knows that it's good. 

And he's happy with how easy it's become, communication and all the good things.

He likes speaking openly. To Sasuke's desperate and now focused ears. And he likes the fact that Sasuke is finally listening to him in the fashion he has always wanted. Because now he has no choice but to listen and observe the world that Naruto told him was worth protected and living for. Maybe his views have changed though considering all the events.

No, Naruto still calls this world beautiful. 

Because he won't do any better than this world.

The world won't bend for him and become more beautiful. 

Nothing really bends that way until it snaps.

Sasuke seems to want to bend for him...

He doesn't want to allow that. 

He doesn't want Sasuke to snap.

Just as Sasuke doesn't want him to either. 

So he's going to stick with this world, and Sasuke as well.

And if he can change more...

_Swell..._

"You're welcome."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dumb ass was just re-reading my favorite Joseph x Ceaser DJ and I actually recognized some of the Italian Ceaser was speaking-
> 
> And considering I'm in year one Italian and I was able to recognize 'Screw you'-
> 
> I'm going places MF's.
> 
> Anyways...
> 
> I'll probably give you guys two chapters tomorrow as well. Because it feels awesome to write this much again. Writings one of those things that you don't really want to get into on a bad day... but sometimes bad days help you write. More often for me actually.
> 
> My friend told me I spend more time writing than looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend-
> 
> Like sir I'm sorry-
> 
> I don't need no man/women
> 
> I got the people who comment on my shit.
> 
> And Banana Fish...


	60. Grey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every night, when Naruto's clock stops ticking, Sasuke stands from his futon and travels through Naruto's small apartment, until he can find his friend. He will then sit in his lap, with his head in the crook of the blond's neck, and he will stay there for one hour and one hour only. Feeling Naruto's pulse against his skin, but not being able to see Naruto himself. Or hear him. Or even offer his thanks for letting him be this close to the person whose life was nearly taken by his own hands.
> 
> But Naruto strangely knows already that Sasuke is so very sorry. So he doesn't protest holding Sasuke.
> 
> \----
> 
> What if instead of an arm, Sasuke lost something even worse?
> 
> What if he lost his hearing from the explosions and screams he heard on the battlefield? What if he too lost his sight from the overuse of his so-called clan's pride and joy? And what if he lost his voice purely because the world was cruel enough to take it as well from him? And what if he lost the ability to function alone? And what if Naruto took him in? And what if he himself tried to heal Sasuke?
> 
> But what if...
> 
> ...it doesn't work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one update!!!!

"Did you replace the batteries okay?" 

**'Yeah, they're working good.'** Sasuke responds smoothly as he pushes around in the freezer looking for the plastic bag full of fruit that he insisted on having. **'Want bananas?'**

"I'd rather eat the hair on the walls of the shower," Naruto comments childishly. "And I hate those things. They make me sick."

**'They make you strong.'**

"So does normal training Sasuke, honestly, I'm just out for a paper deposit, I won't just leave without coming back!"

Sasuke makes no hand signs as he plugs the blender in after a few moments. And when as he does he dumps a large portion of the bag of bananas into an already half-filled glass of some liquid that looks like milk. And he pours in some greens after this and follows it with blueberries. And after he places the lid on tight, and checks it thoroughly for any gaps in the rubber seal. He switches the blender on after he pulls out his hearing aids. And Naruto envies him for a moment as he must cover his own ears. But he shakes off that thought quickly as Sasuke puts his own source of hearing back in and grabs a glass after some fumbling and checking. 

**'I opened the window last night, I should be cold today. So keep warm.'**

"Why didn't you just go outside?"

**'I didn't really want to, not that late at night.'**

"Tsunade said you need to get out. Wanna taking walks? Or doing the laundry on the roof for me?"

Sasuke looks down without purpose at his glass full of mush. And Naruto instantly regrets his words. "Ah! Nevermind... maybe a little later next year? Uh, okay?"

Sasuke nods and walks from the counter after he places the blender in the sink. **'Wear a jacket?'**

"Yeah don't worry about me..." Naruto whispers through the shame of his stupidity as he gently places his hand on Sasuke's head. But as he does his red side pulls his hand away, and his blue side catches his falling arm to rest it on the raven's shoulder. And the same side makes him speak again. "I'm sorry for what I said. You shouldn't be reminded of those things."

**'Yes I should, you know that.'**

"When you're ready."

**'What about them? I'm sure they're already ready...'**

"Go eat your mush. And don't think about it. I'll be back in an hour."

**'See you.'**

"See you..." Naruto calls as he walks from to the door. Catching a glimpse of the raven cradling his glass to his chest mournfully. Lonesome.

_**'Say something else! He's hurt!'** _

_**'Leave him be! It will teach him!'** _

"Bye... Sasuke!" Naruto calls out as Sasuke begins to make his way back to his room. And the blond's words reach him before he does reach the door.

The raven smiles and waves.

 _ **'He's only going to get more mopey and dependent if you do that!'**_ Naruto's red side shouts as he makes his way down the stairs of his complex. 

_**'He's our friend! And we are supposed to help him! And don't you dare bring up that question again! We already know the answer and it's not needed!'** _

_You both are so fucking annoying. Making a big deal over some damn reassurance? Give me a break. I should see a doctor about you two._

**_'Yes, and then the home for disabled rouged ninjas who do nothing but bring you weakness!'_ **

**_'Who are you? Weakness? This hate for him is weakness! We can't hate someone like him!'_ **

**_'It's not hate! It's just a fact!'_ **

The sky is dark grey behind the barley lighter clouds. And the air smells of snow that will only be beautiful as it falls.

Naruto hates that kind of snow.

And he hates himself for bringing up something as damaging as that.

Sasuke knows they're out for him.

The village.

The families who once held more members.

Members that he murdered.

They'll be coming for him.

And he'll be alone if he doesn't win over the council.

Naruto should have been more careful when he was talking to Shikamaru with the raven three rooms down.

It was a mistake.

And it has torn Sasuke to more pieces that were already torn. 

_Grey..._

Winter will not be beautiful and snow white.

It will be grey and black.

And the whole world is silent because it knows that as well.

Naruto feels the wind cold and painfully across his face as he travels to Kakashi's office.

Somethings coming on the horizon.

Actually...

He feels multiple things on the horizon.

But the color grey hides them as he runs towards them.

Not knowing when the hell these things will strike. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bro, I vacuumed the life out of my room today-
> 
> My vacuum literally ran out of battery because I used it so much-
> 
> I wanted to add some more info here. Since I've been doing a couple of time jumps. Just to show change and what not!!!
> 
> See you guys tomorrow!!!


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